If you could go from being adored to being undervalued in the blink of an eye just because you had the guts.
If you’re wondering if your relationship is narcissistic, there are some signs you can’t ignore: If you can go from being lovable to being devalued in the blink of an eye just because you have the audacity to question anything your partner, lover, friend or business associate said – pay attention. ! If this is the first time you’ve questioned his omnipotence, the attack will be immediate and violent, leaving you feeling like you were in the path of a freight train. Of course you would be surprised by a rough and tough encounter with someone you admired and thought was worthy of your trust, but this is your guide to making radical adjustments to a relationship that has now changed forever.
Who is a narcissist? It could be anyone – a friend, a business partner, a lover or a spouse – even family. You may have looked at this person and admired him, which makes your confusion at the sudden aggression all the more painful as you grapple with the incomprehension of the senseless attack on you. What just happened? You ask yourself. There is no way to soften the blow. Once you break away from those who endlessly sing his (or her) praises and, instead, demand accountability, the mask of contrived harmony is quickly torn off and you look into the cold, calculating eyes of the real person. Those who have experienced the relentless rage of a “infected” narcissist will be unanimous in their advice: Put as much distance between yourself and the perpetrator as you can. Your well-being depends on it.
If you suspect the erratic/extreme behavior of someone close to you, a short summary of the characteristics of narcissism may clarify some aspects for those wondering if they have a narcissist for a life partner, business partner, or life partner. My friend: The harsh truth is that a narcissist doesn’t love anyone, not even himself. Rather, he falls in love with the “impression” he thinks he is making on others, and feels false love toward those who are intimidated by this “impression.” If those who “like” him discover this fake photo, he becomes angry and disrespectfully disrespects those people – even publicly. The narcissist has no real friends and only has false self-esteem. They are masters of deception, shamelessly devouring people and using them to achieve their goals, while vehemently denying any suggestion of such a purpose.
Yes! A narcissistic relationship is absolutely toxic. When you discover their work, you will be disappointed and astonished, but be warned that reconciliation is not even a remote possibility. Once you scrutinize their claims and lies (yes! They are pathological liars who spin a story at the drop of a hat) you become the enemy. The narcissist requires constant admiration and stroking, and if you can no longer be a source of supply, you will not be tolerated in his inner circle. Ironically, a favorite assertion of narcissists is that they are “humble and ego-free,” but these are just terms they use to impress. In fact, their behavior, especially when they are overtaken, reveals their game. No one told them that you should never pretend to be who you are – and that people will always know it without being told.
Still not convinced that your friend, business partner, or anyone else falls into this category of the human race? Examine, if you will, some of the following features. Does he exaggerate achievements, talents, and skills? Is he obsessed with delusions of unlimited success or fame and dreams of being in the spotlight? Does he seek to connect with people who are in the public eye and try to relate to their intelligence, pretending to be of the same type? Does he spend endless hours online and on social media, does he build long lists of “friends” with whom he has no substantive connections? Are his “friends” the people who live in distant countries and places that he can fool with his “wit and superior wit,” but who will never show up at his dinner table, or be there to help in the need of the hour? Does he relate to things rather than people? Is he devoid of empathy and unable to identify with other people’s feelings, needs, and choices? Does he act arrogantly and get angry when he is opposed or confronted by people who threaten his indomitable superiority? If the answer is yes to most of these questions, you may want to take a deep breath…you are undoubtedly stuck in a narcissistic relationship.
Narcissistic rage is a frightening phenomenon, because it is different from “tension.” Narcissistic rage is the result of what is interpreted as a slight, criticism, or disagreement – what is known in psychiatric terminology as “narcissistic injury.” This uncontrolled reaction is destructive and completely disproportionate to the crime – the punishment simply does not fit the ‘crime’. Angry narcissists believe that their anger has been deliberately provoked. But when their victims finally catch up to the ridiculous attack, they realize that the perpetrator is incoherent, unfair and volatile and begin making plans to extricate themselves from the relationship. In the narcissist’s strange world, not only does he use and abuse people, but even language is divided into a medium without a message. Words are used out of context or long, dramatic phrases are used to elevate him above the stupidity of those who do not understand his brilliance – but this only causes confusion. It is often impossible to truly understand a narcissist as complex syntax disappears into an abyss of tortured, incomprehensible language that sounds important, but makes no sense at all.
Research has revealed that narcissists are a product of their upbringing, which inevitably leads to a narcissistic relationship with everyone who crosses their path. They often pretend to have had a happy childhood, but the majority have experienced abandonment on some level, forcing the young child to construct a false persona living in a “perfect world” where he or she is loved and cared for like all the other kids in the neighborhood. . Pretending that everything is fine on the home front becomes a task to which they devote their entire lives, but since they lack the foundation and reference that real, warm human interaction provides, they begin to act similar to cardboard cutouts and learn to fake everything. They miss her as children and it is the beginning of a narcissistic relationship. This way of polishing images becomes a way of life, but it places them on fragile ground where no form of criticism or questioning can be tolerated, lest everything collapse on the surface – narcissistic relationships are strangely fragile. Males are often obsessed with their absent, distant, and cold mothers, whom, dead or alive, they strangely begin to idealize in a strange attempt to rewrite the tortured history of their past.
Now that you know who you’re dealing with – what do you do? If the bond is not of critical value to you, pursue it as soon as you can and walk away from this narcissistic relationship. If this is a spouse or family member, you must learn how to call them on their game and stand up to them. If they get angry, get angry at them – there is no other way, because the narcissist’s main weapon is fear and intimidation. You will have to prove that you are not afraid of them, otherwise the emotional execution will continue. If this is a business relationship, keep contact to an absolute minimum — but never sacrifice your own standards because you expect his wrath when you rightfully demand accountability. Let their anger be their problem. Don’t stop there and tell them.
