Let’s be real—if there’s one thing that can completely destroy a relationship, it’s contempt. And what is contempt? It’s when you start looking down on your partner, feeling like you’re better than them, and that feeling of respect and love disappears… suddenly.
Contempt in a relationship can be extremely toxic, and once it creeps in, it’s difficult to establish healthy communication. It’s one of those things that, if left unaddressed, can tear couples apart faster than you think.
But don’t worry—the first step is recognizing it, and that’s what we’ll cover here. First, let’s try to understand what contempt in a relationship is.
What Is Contempt In ARelationship?
Contempt occurs when one partner feels superior to the other. It’s not just about being annoyed or frustrated with each other—everyone does it. It goes much deeper.
Contempt looks like rolling their eyes, sneering, or making sarcastic “I’m better than you” comments. Over time, it creates a toxic environment where a person constantly feels belittled or disrespected. And let’s be honest, no one wants to feel less important in a relationship, right?
10 Signs of Contempt in a Relationship
- Eye Rolling During Conversations and Arguments.
If eye rolling is your go-to tactic during arguments or even casual conversations, this is a warning sign. It’s a physical expression of annoyance and disrespect.
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When you or your partner roll your eyes, it’s like silently saying, “Oh, it’s okay.” This may seem normal, but over time, it indicates a significant lack of respect. It’s one of those little things that can add up until one day, a relationship feels strained.
- Excessive Sarcasm
One of the most notable signs of contempt in a relationship is the following. While sarcasm can be funny, using it to belittle the other person is never a good thing. It’s like making fun of yourself, disguising it as a joke.
Over time, you begin to feel hurt and belittled. It’s a subtle way to show contempt in a relationship, as it doesn’t involve yelling or fighting directly, but it leaves a stinging effect.
- Making fun of each other.
One of the most painful signs of contempt in a relationship is making fun of your partner’s habits, personality, or even their feelings. This is extremely toxic. Making fun of you doesn’t solve any problems; it only increases tension.
When you constantly feel like you’re being made fun of, it’s impossible to build a healthy, loving relationship. This type of behavior can quickly erode trust and affection.
- Name-calling.
Name-calling is like arguing. If you or your partner resort to calling each other names during an argument, it’s a major sign of contempt in a relationship.
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This shows a lack of respect and a willingness to hurt the other person just to win the argument. Relationships thrive on respect, while name-calling is the exact opposite.
- Using phrases like “You always do this” or “You never do that.”
What is contempt in a relationship? Have you ever noticed how arguments escalate when someone says, “You always do this?” or “You never do that!” These sweeping generalizations make your partner feel like they can’t do anything right.
It’s an easy way to dismiss their efforts and paint them as the bad guy. This kind of language builds walls between you rather than resolving the issue at hand.
- Ignoring each other’s feelings.
Ignoring your partner’s concerns or feelings? This is one of the worst signs of contempt in a relationship. When someone is ignorant, they’re simply saying, “Your feelings don’t matter to me.”
Over time, this creates a huge rift in the relationship. If you or your partner don’t feel heard or valued, it’s difficult for the relationship to progress.
- You or your partner ignore each other during an argument.
If there’s contempt in a relationship, after a certain point, ignoring becomes inevitable. Ignoring is when one partner shuts down emotionally, stops responding, and refuses to engage in conversation.
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This often happens after contempt has built up in a relationship. It’s a defense mechanism, but it can feel like the ultimate form of rejection. When your partner refuses to even talk to you, it feels like they’ve given up on the relationship.
- Constantly criticizing each other.
Constructive criticism is one thing, but constantly pointing out your partner’s flaws? This is one of the biggest signs of contempt in a relationship. This happens when you’re no longer trying to help them improve, but rather trying to tear them down.
If every conversation feels like a list of complaints, it’s easy for resentment to fester. Eventually, the criticizing partner may feel like they can’t do anything right, leading to more frustration and pain.
- Constantly comparing yourself to others.
No one likes being compared to someone else, especially in a relationship. When one partner constantly repeats how others (friends, exes, or even celebrities) are “better” in certain areas, this is a major sign of contempt. Saying things like, “Why can’t you be more chill like Jennifer?” or “You’re the only one who acts this way, and it’s embarrassing!” can have a profound effect.
Over time, the comparing person begins to feel inadequate or a failure in the relationship. This can make them feel insecure, unloved, and even resentful.
- The Power Play
A power play in a relationship arises when one partner tries to control the other, whether emotionally or physically. This can look like one partner always trying to have the final say, making decisions without consulting the other, or even manipulating situations to “win” an argument. It’s not about reaching healthy compromises; it’s about maintaining control.
This power imbalance ultimately leads to a lot of resentment in a relationship. When one partner constantly feels controlled, they may stop contributing to the relationship altogether. Now that we’ve learned the signs of contempt in a relationship, let’s talk about the causes of contempt in relationships.
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What causes contempt in a relationship? Contempt in a relationship doesn’t appear suddenly; it builds up over time. One of the main causes is unresolved conflict. When the issues that are holding you back from your relationship are not addressed, it leads to more frustration and resentment, which eventually turns into contempt.
Feeling unappreciated or underestimated can also fuel these negative feelings. If one partner feels like they’re always giving and the other is always taking, it’s easy for resentment to take root. Lack of communication or misunderstanding is another major factor. When you and your partner stop talking about your feelings or don’t feel listened to, contempt can creep in. It’s like gradually building a wall between you.
Conclusion
Don’t let contempt take over your relationship, or before you know it, the relationship you worked so hard for will be over. Pay attention to signs of contempt in a relationship and work to resolve the issues affecting you and your partner.
