Relationships can be a wonderful source of happiness, love, joy, and contentment. However, not all relationships are the same; While some may feel as comfortable as a warm blanket on a cold night, to others they are like an uncomfortable sweater that doesn’t fit well. Being in a conditional relationship can make you feel like you’re the last.
Conditional relationships, in particular, can make you feel uncertain and lonely because the relationship and “love” come with conditions. So, how do you know if you’re in a conditional relationship or not?
We will talk about signs of conditional love, what conditional love means, and unconditional love vs conditional love in this article today. First, let’s try to understand what conditional love is.
#What does conditional love mean?
Conditional love is when someone only cares about you if you meet certain requirements. Think of it like love that comes with conditions. For example, imagine you’re dating someone who only spends time with you because you have a nice car or know the right people. This is one of the best examples of conditional love.
Or think of a parent who showers his child with love only when he wins a trophy, but ignores him if he makes a mistake. It is as if their love is turned on and off at will, which can leave you feeling dissatisfied and uncertain.
Now, let’s explore the signs of conditional love and a conditional relationship.
8 signs you may be in a conditional relationship
1. You feel like you will never be good enough for them.
If you’re always worried about needing to do more or be better, and always feel like you can’t achieve the goal, this is one of the biggest signs of a conditional relationship.
When you always feel like you will never be able to meet their impossible expectations, maybe it’s time to rethink the relationship, for your sanity.
2. You can’t seem to trust them, no matter how hard you try.
Without trust, the relationship is doomed to failure. Even if your partner only shows his love for you in good times, you still need a certain amount of trust for the relationship to last in the long term.
However, if you always feel like you can’t trust your partner, or that he or she is too selfish and never thinks about your safety, then it’s pretty clear that you’re in an unhealthy relationship.
3. You’re slowly starting to notice that they’re putting the spotlight on you more often.
Gaslighting occurs when someone manipulates your perception of reality to maintain control over you. They may distort your words or make you doubt what you know as truth.
A common gaslighting tactic involves words like “always” or “never.” Imagine that you have a problem with your partner, and before you know it, instead of taking responsibility for his actions, he puts all the blame on you. They say something like “I hate it when you always blame me for everything and never show respect towards me in this relationship.”
4. You only feel special when you are in public.
It may slowly occur to you that your partner only compliments you or becomes affectionate when others are watching.
Pay attention to this behavior, because it may mean that they only like you under certain circumstances, and there is probably no good reason why they cannot behave the same way with you in private. Needing to have other people around you to show their appreciation is not normal at all.
5. You always feel that you will never be equal to them.
This is one of the biggest examples of conditional love.
When there is a power imbalance in a relationship, it is a huge red flag for conditional love. It doesn’t matter if they are manipulating you into doing what they want you to do, or deliberately trying to control you, this is not normal, and don’t even try to see it as something that is not a big deal.
If you feel unequal, it may mean that your partner will not show his love and affection unless you are looking eye to eye. To love someone unconditionally, you have to accept them as they are.
6. You are the one who always compromises in a relationship.
No matter how many sacrifices and compromises you may make in a relationship, your partner will refuse to budge. They have to do it their way, and will always be blind to your point of view and deaf to what you have to say, no matter the topic.
If this reminds you of your partner, then you are probably in a conditional relationship, and he will only love you on his terms. Moreover, if you stop responding to their demands, they will likely leave you and not look back.
7. You can feel that your mental and emotional health is deteriorating.
If you feel like your mental health is deteriorating, conditional love may be a big reason. You may suffer from feelings of inferiority due to a lack of support and love from your partner, or your self-esteem may suffer because he constantly belittles you.
Depression may also be caused by the way your partner behaves with you, especially if he or she is always criticizing you and aims to make you feel guilty and ashamed of who you are.
8. You feel ashamed and feel guilty about almost every little thing.
If your partner often makes you feel guilty or shames you by saying things like, “If you loved me, you would do this,” pay attention. These are warning signs of conditional love.
You should be with someone who lifts you and stands by your side, not someone who is always blackmailing you into getting something done. If they’re quick to point out your mistakes but rarely acknowledge your accomplishments, it has more to do with their insecurities than anything to do with you.
Now that we know the signs of conditional love and what a conditional relationship looks like, let’s talk about unconditional love vs. conditional love.
