Being an introvert is not easy. It’s exhausting to get through your day sometimes. Communication problems plague every conversation. Each interaction triggers thoughts of self-doubt, self-consciousness, and most often, fear of embarrassment.
Of course, not every introvert suffers from social anxiety. However, even the most socially confident introverts find too much interaction to be a struggle. When you’re the type who thrives on being alone, conversational problems are common simply because of a lack of practice or the ability to communicate naturally.
Communication problems of introverts
Honesty about your feelings
Most introverts happen to be people pleasers. This means that you never want to make anyone angry, say “no” or let others down. This communication problem tends to stem from fear of rejection or the anger of others.
Have you ever been to a restaurant and received the wrong meal? How about reserving a seat at the cinema only to find someone else to sit in? If you’re lucky, you’ll have a more trusted friend sort these issues out for you, so you don’t have to.
These are the kinds of interactions that introverts shy away from, for several reasons. Introverts don’t want to embarrass or hurt others. Introverts are very empathetic, so we understand that, usually, someone has just made a mistake and we don’t want to cause them any inconvenience. Finally, we tend to avoid conflict situations.
You may also suffer from an inferiority complex, which makes you feel that your place in the world is not as important as others. This means that we avoid being honest because we don’t think we matter. There is also a deep fear that they will argue again, which is the last thing an introvert needs. Intense interactions are incredibly energy-draining and require a lot of self-confidence that some introverts just don’t have.
How to overcome it:
The best way to overcome this communication hurdle is to work on your confidence and self-worth. As you learn and begin to believe that you deserve to have your needs met, you will be more willing to stand up for yourself. You will never allow others to stand in front of you again, once you see that you deserve to be respected and listened to.
Accept compliments and praise
Introverts struggle to get compliments and enjoy praise when it is handed out. There can be several reasons behind this connection issue. Sometimes it may feel like you’re just being humble, but it’s a chronic problem.
One of the hardest things for an introvert is to be the center of attention. All eyes on us are terrified. We’d rather fly under the radar, but the compliments and compliments bring all the attention to us alone. Then our self-doubt creeps in and we start to wonder if they’re exaggerating or playing a cruel joke. The likelihood that they are real and that we did something good seems very slim.
We also worry that we have to say something honest in return, and not mess it up. It’s hard to dig deep right away, but we feel pressured to give them something good in return.
How to overcome it:
To overcome the fear of praise and praise and overcome this communication problem for good, you need to believe in yourself again. People don’t make cruel jokes, this kind of outrageous behavior only happens in movies.
It’s okay to want humility when accepting compliments, but a nice “thank you” will go a long way. Instead of veering into the old saying, “Oh, it was nothing,” try enjoying the idea that someone noticed something you did and appreciated it.
You hear in large groups
Most of the time, introverts don’t want to be heard in groups. We’re happy to sit back and watch others chat away without really noticing. This becomes a problem when you have something to say, but you’re not the type to demand the audience’s attention. Speaking loudly and confidently is not a skill for most introverts.
In situations like a meeting at work, or a group talking about something you care about, being calm doesn’t pay off. You want your opinions to be heard, either because they are important or because you just want to join in.
How to overcome it:
Overcome this communication problem by standing your ground. Your voice matters, and believe it or not, other people will want to listen. Just as you will be happy to hear what your friends or co-workers have to say, they will do the same for you. Trust me.
You can try to get some kind of confidant, who will open up space for you in the conversation if you are not confident (loud) enough to jump in yourself. Never give up trying to hear you out, even if you have to restart a few times.
Dealing with invasive conversations
Sometimes people who aren’t close to us try to get in too deep too soon. There is nothing that an introvert loves more than a deep, hearty conversation, but only with someone very close to him.
When unfamiliar people push these boundaries, we tend to scream. We don’t know what to say so often we mumble our way and run away as fast as we can. We don’t want to sound rude or make a fuss about a topic that is sensitive to us but might seem small to others.
However, there is hope, this connection problem is solvable. It’s hard to stand up for yourself as an introvert, but you deserve to feel comfortable. As long as you are aware of this, you will never have to feel uncomfortable again.
How to overcome it:
We can be a little invasive at times, which is what we as curious humans are. Despite this, some people do not understand what is appropriate and what is not. Fortunately, you have every right to ask them to back off and any decent human being would respect that.
If someone transgresses, you have the right to say that you are not comfortable talking about this topic. Anyone who forces you to cross these boundaries is not worth your time. Offer an alternative and move on, or find a distraction. There’s no need to sacrifice your sanity or comfort just to avoid feeling like the bad guy.
