PTSD is typically associated with one-off events—being the victim of a violent crime, surviving a car accident, or witnessing atrocities on the battlefield; a single traumatic event leads to a lifetime of suffering and poor mental health.
Another less common disorder is complex PTSD (c-PTSD), where similar symptoms develop years after incredibly stressful events. It’s typically seen in children of abusive parents but can manifest in adults after a long period of homelessness or a toxic relationship.
Recovering from complex PTSD is a long process, usually requiring a qualified therapist and years of work.
However, the first step toward recovery is recognizing that complex PTSD is real and that symptoms can be alleviated. Before we dive into that, let’s take a look at how complex PTSD develops, especially in narcissistic relationships.
CanYouGetPTSDFromANarcissist?
Being in a toxic relationship with a narcissist takes a huge toll on your mental health, causing immense anxiety, loss of trust in those closest to you, and degraded self-esteem.
Narcissists see their partners as something they can manipulate to their advantage—extracting narcissistic supply from you, devaluing you to keep you submissive, and discarding you when you no longer serve their purposes.
Leaving a narcissist is no easy task, but recovering from months or years of narcissistic abuse is even harder.
Many victims of abuse develop some form of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Similar to those who have lived through war or natural disasters, these individuals have a weak sense of security.
Survivors of narcissistic abuse relive their trauma through flashbacks and intrusive thoughts, making everyday life even more difficult.
Some return to their abusers in the hopes of gaining closure and stopping their PTSD symptoms. Unfortunately, this almost always restarts the cycle of abuse.
Can You Get PTSD from a Narcissistic Parent?
Parent abuse is the most common type of narcissistic abuse, but it’s not the only form. While partner abuse typically lasts only a few months or years, narcissistic parental abuse can last for decades.
Children of narcissistic parents are almost guaranteed to develop complex PTSD symptoms.
This is especially true given the power dynamics between parent and child, where children are completely dependent on the parent for both material and emotional support.
Narcissistic parents use this dynamic to extract narcissistic supply at will, demanding that their child show love and worship on demand in order to receive food and affection.
The child’s relationship with his or her parents also serves as a roadmap for future relationships, as narcissistic parents instill in their children the belief that love is transactional.
Related : How to Make a Narcissist Miss You & Regret Losing You?
These beliefs are extremely difficult to overcome, as many children of narcissistic parents find themselves in relationships with narcissistic partners.
Do You Have PTSD? Post-Narcissistic Stress Disorder?
If you’ve been a victim of narcissistic abuse, you may be wondering if you have PTSD. If you’re asking yourself this question and experiencing symptoms of PTSD, there’s a good chance you do.
What Are the Symptoms of PTSD When Recovering from Narcissistic Abuse?
Every case of complex PTSD is different, and manifests in different ways depending on the type of abuse you experienced. However, some common symptoms are likely to emerge during the healing process.
Avoiding Social Situations
Since one of the keys to healing from narcissistic abuse is talking about it with others, it can be confusing when a victim of abuse avoids friends and family.
However, repeated abuse creates a complex trauma that is difficult for outsiders to understand.
Abuse victims feel like no one understands their situation or that they will be looked down upon for allowing it to happen.
Sleep problems
Being in a relationship with a narcissist puts you in a state of hypervigilance.
You are constantly trying to please the abuser and protect yourself, which carries over into your sleep time.
This state of hypervigilance continues for years after you have severed ties with your narcissistic partner, leading to sleepless nights and waking up in panic.
Some abuse survivors find relief with medication; others use behavioral techniques like yoga and meditation to suppress their anxiety before bed.
Stress
Similar to sleep problems, survivors are stuck in a state of hypervigilance and feel stressed throughout the day.
This stress can cause victims of narcissistic abuse to avoid social situations, and those who are involved are often stressed.
Talking to close friends and family about your anxiety can help them understand your situation and give you space when needed.
Panic Attacks
It’s hard to know exactly what might trigger this, but those with complex PTSD due to narcissistic abuse are more likely to experience panic attacks.
Many victims feel too embarrassed to talk about their panic attacks, believing it’s all “in their head,” but panic attacks are a physical response to the adrenaline coursing through your body.
When recovering from narcissistic abuse, one of the best things you can do during a panic attack is talk to yourself about your symptoms.
Focus on how your physical symptoms are a response to past trauma, rather than related to your current environment.
Low Self-Esteem
It’s no surprise that long periods of abuse can lead to low self-esteem. Narcissists will say or do anything to make you feel less than them.
To recover from abuse, think about why your abuser said the horrible things they did.
Was it because of something you did, or because they wanted to control your emotions?
Another way to overcome these negative feelings is to put yourself in a world where other people can see your talents.
Doing something like joining a volunteer program allows you to make new friends while feeling good about contributing to your community.
How to Heal PTSD After Narcissistic Abuse?
Narcissistic abuse is not a single event, but rather a pattern of behavior that can last for months or years. Healing from this abuse takes time, and each person takes a slightly different path to get there.
The most important thing to remember is that things can simply get better.
While the most important step in healing from narcissism and complex PTSD is reaching out to a qualified therapist, these strategies can help you on the road to recovery.
NoContact
If you are dealing with complex PTSD resulting from narcissistic abuse, the first step is to stop the abusive behaviors.
Many victims try to resolve the matter with their partner, by bargaining or giving ultimatums, but few abusers change their minds.
Related : How To Make a Narcissist Come Crawling Back?
Instead, they apologize and try to justify their abusive behavior, before returning to it days or weeks later.
When you leave your abuser, the best thing for your mental health is to not contact them. It will likely take several weeks of not seeing or hearing from your abuser for healing to begin.
Recognizing Abuse
Detachment from contact is important to separate yourself from your abuser, but it’s also important to recognize which of their past behaviors were abusive.
Some of their more subtle manipulations may have been ingrained in your self-image, such as being unattractive, unlovable, or always disappointing people.
Part of the healing process is understanding how these manipulations benefited your partner and had little to do with who you are as a person.
The narcissist’s behavior is about them, how they feel, and how they can get what they want from others. You are one of the many targets they have used to get the narcissistic supply they so desperately need.
ExperiencingEmotions
Dealing with these past abusive behaviors can sometimes be as painful as experiencing them in the first place.
You were supposed to be able to trust your partner and your parents, and that trust was abused for selfish purposes.
This realization may cause you to feel intense sadness, anger, or grief for the energy you put into these relationships.
It’s okay to feel all of these things and they’re vital to recovering from narcissistic abuse.
Suppressing these feelings and “acting normal” during your recovery will only delay the healing of your complex PTSD symptoms.
ReclaimingYourIndividuality
Narcissists want you to believe that you are nothing without them, and accepting this belief gives them power.
After you have cut off contact with your abuser, one of the hardest things you have to do is understand yourself as an individual, not as part of your abuser.
Months later, as you make a major life decision, you may begin to wonder what your abuser might think about your choices.
It is extremely difficult to shake off this inherent helplessness. This can be accomplished by surrounding yourself with supportive people who see you as an individual, not what they can get from you.
Participate in Self-Care
No, it’s not about a day at the spa, although that’s never a bad idea if you need to relax and disconnect from life’s problems. It’s about actively participating in your own healing process.
It will look different for everyone, but there are some commonalities. If you have trust issues, it might include blocking your abuser’s number and setting your phone to “do not disturb” when you’re feeling particularly anxious.
If your abuser has taught you to feel guilty when you can’t provide for them, take comfort in knowing that you can’t meet everyone’s emotional needs.
You are one person, and your needs must come first sometimes.
Speak Up
Many survivors of complex PTSD from narcissistic abuse feel embarrassed about the trauma they endured.
They worry that friends and family won’t understand their abuser’s control over them and why they acted the way they did. This fear of embarrassment creates a culture of silence.
People around you may not understand what happened to you if they haven’t experienced it themselves, but talking about the abuse can help you better understand the trauma.
Supportive friends and family will ask questions without judgment, and these questions can help you work through your PTSD symptoms.
How to Survive Complex Trauma from Narcissistic Abuse?
The symptoms of complex PTSD are not much different from those of acute PTSD.
Both include feelings of hopelessness, increased anxiety, distrust of close relationships, and intrusive thoughts about ourselves.
However, acute PTSD can usually be narrowed down to a single event or at least a group of closely related events.
In this case, one can overcome these associated PTSD symptoms by working through the trauma and its impact.
Complex PTSD arises from long periods of trauma, which may be caused by a single person, but occurs in different ways.
While the origins and effects of acute PTSD are better understood by the general public than they were a decade ago, the same cannot be said for complex PTSD.
Many people can imagine the trauma that comes from being the victim of a violent crime, but they cannot imagine years of subtle manipulation and abuse by a parent or romantic partner.
This lack of societal acceptance and understanding makes the healing process even more challenging, as do the many ways complex PTSD can manifest.
Most survivors of narcissistic abuse will need a multifaceted approach to healing. A licensed therapist, especially one with experience in narcissistic abuse and complex PTSD, will be the most important component.
However, taking the time to talk about your feelings with trusted friends and family, along with cutting off all contact with your abuser, will go a long way in promoting the healing process.
