The term narcissist is often used casually to describe people who seem excessively in love with themselves or are deeply concerned with their private life.
However, it is important to understand that there is a significant difference between a person who has symptomatic narcissistic tendencies or traits and the clinical condition known as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders 5, Text Reviews (DSM-5-TR), narcissistic personality disorder is a personality disorder that manifests as an inflated sense of self-importance and an excessive need for attention and admiration from others.
A person with BPD also has a marked lack of empathy for others. Although they may seem overly confident, they usually have a fragile self-esteem that can crumble when criticized.
Symptoms of NPD include:
Fantasies about success and power
A sense of entitlement
Exploiting others without guilt or shame
Show arrogant behaviour
Feeling that they can only be understood or related to by private or high-ranking people or institutions
Feelings of envy or that others envy you
These symptoms can be very challenging for loved ones of people with this disorder.
If you or someone you love is living with narcissistic personality disorder, you may be wondering if a narcissist can change. The answer to this question is not a simple yes or no. For a person with BPD to change, they need some self-awareness, therapy, and a genuine desire to change and change their behaviors.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a complex and delicate condition, and like most personality disorders, it can be difficult to treat. However, this does not mean that it is impossible for individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder to change. They can, with the right treatment and means. “They feel a real desire to improve their relationships and their lives, and to make meaningful changes,” says Dr. Rayan Sultan, assistant clinical professor of psychiatry in the department of psychiatry at Columbia University Irving Medical Center.
Possibility of change
In many cases, the person with BPD is unable to see their own harmful behaviors. This can make real change difficult. In order for a person to change, he has to realize that he has a problem that needs a solution.
“Dynamic psychotherapists maintain that change is possible when a person gains insight into their unconscious patterns, which can be very challenging for people with narcissistic personality disorder because of their defensive self-structure,” Dan Auerbach, clinical psychotherapist and director at Associated Counseling & Psychology Sydney explains.
Beyond self-awareness, change for the person with BPD is complex because it also requires commitment to follow through. It involves learning new patterns of behavior and ways of thinking that go against years, often decades, of established behaviour.
It involves learning to let go of the need for constant admiration and validation from others and instead finding a sense of self-worth from within. It also means learning how to handle relationships in a more healthy and balanced way – developing empathy, learning to listen, and finding ways to meet the needs of others without encroaching on their rights and boundaries.
Can a narcissist change? In theory, the answer is yes. With the right mindset, tools, and support, a person with BPD can get to a place of better understanding, healthier relationships, and a more balanced sense of self.
“Theoretically, change is possible. It depends on whether the individual is able to recognize their own problematic behaviors, an introspection that is often elusive for those with BPD. However, the will to change must be self-driven, and this The real challenge is often the lies,” Dr. R.E. adds Langham, a clinical psychologist with a Ph.D. in family psychology.
Can NPD be treated?
There is no “cure” for narcissistic personality disorder. It is important to remember that BPD is not an illness in the traditional sense. It is a personality disorder. In the case of illness, treatment usually means eradicating the disease completely, such as using antibiotics to treat bacterial infections.
But when it comes to BPD, the thought and behavior patterns associated with the condition are deeply ingrained and an important part of a person’s identity. These patterns cannot be easily shaken off.
This does not mean that there is no hope for significant change, improvement, or growth. A narcissist who genuinely wants change and is willing to put in the effort can learn healthy ways of interacting with others, develop a more realistic and stable sense of self-esteem, and begin to appreciate and respect the needs and boundaries of those around them. .
Therapeutic strategies for narcissists
As mentioned earlier, narcissistic personality disorder is a complex condition that is deeply rooted in a person’s sense of self. For people with narcissistic personality disorder who don’t see a problem with their behavior, it can be difficult to understand how therapy can help.
However, therapists have developed different strategies specifically designed to meet the unique challenges of narcissistic personality disorder. These strategies aim to manage symptoms and help people with BPD rebuild their self-perception and learn healthy ways to interact with the world.
Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)
One of the most well-known and widely used therapeutic strategies is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). Cognitive behavioral therapy is beneficial for people with narcissistic personality disorder because it directly addresses distorted thought patterns. The goal is to help you recognize and question distorted and habitual reactions and beliefs, such as feelings of superiority or entitlement, and replace them with healthier, more adaptive thoughts and behaviors.
Planned treatment
Another treatment approach is planned therapy. It involves identifying and changing maladaptive schemas — deeply held beliefs about self, others, and how the world works — that can lead to self-destructive behavior patterns. Scheme therapy is like getting to the root of a weed. It is about uncovering the deeper, often unconscious beliefs that drive narcissistic behavior and finding healthy ways to meet one’s emotional needs.
Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT)
Therapists may also use a technique known as dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is especially helpful for people who struggle with emotional regulation. Cognitive behavioral therapy (DBT) equips you with new skills to manage painful emotions and reduce conflict in relationships. These skills are often underdeveloped in people with narcissistic personality disorder.
It is also important to note the role of group therapy. Narcissists often feel isolated and misunderstood, and being part of a therapy group can provide valuable insights and feedback from peers dealing with similar issues.
“Through therapy, people with narcissistic personality disorder can explore their early life history and understand the roots of their narcissistic defenses. Therapy can help uncover and process unconscious patterns and can make it safer for the narcissist to feel and heal their early childhood wounds.” Orbach adds. “Over time, this can lead to a shift in their inner world, promoting healthier interpersonal relationships and a more integrated sense of self.”
Psychotherapy
There are many psychodynamic psychotherapeutic approaches that focus on the unconscious processes that contribute to narcissistic personality disorder and often use transference exploration, or psychotherapeutic relationship, to help understand and modify underlying narcissistic dynamics. These include Transference-Focused Psychotherapy (TFP) and Mindfulness-Based Therapy (MBT).
Practical tips for dealing with narcissists
Living or working with a narcissist is often like walking on eggshells. Their unpredictability, lack of empathy, and constant need for admiration can make relationships with narcissists very difficult. However, there are practical strategies that can help you navigate these complex dynamics.
Maintain firm boundaries
According to Dr. Ketan Parmar, psychiatrist and mental health expert at ClinicSpots, “Narcissists often have a sense of entitlement and expect special treatment from others. They may also ignore your feelings, opinions, or needs. To protect yourself from being exploited or abused, you need to Set clear and firm boundaries. For example, you can limit the time you spend with them, decline unreasonable requests, or refuse to engage in arguments or drama.”
Let’s say you have a narcissistic friend who constantly belittles your accomplishments. You can assert your boundaries by saying, “I understand your point, but I am proud of my accomplishments and would appreciate it if you respected that.” Remember, it’s okay to protect your emotional space.
Practice emotional detachment
When dealing with a narcissist, it can be helpful to practice emotional detachment. This means not allowing the narcissist’s behavior to influence your emotional state or determine your self-worth. “Don’t let their words or actions affect your self-esteem or self-worth. Remember that their behavior isn’t about you, it’s about their issues and needs,” explains Dr. Parmar.
Be realistic about expectations
When dealing with a narcissist, it is essential to be realistic about your expectations. If you expect sympathy, understanding, or validation, which they are unlikely to provide, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Acknowledge that they may not be able to meet these needs and look for ways to fulfill them elsewhere.
Ask for support
Having a strong support system is invaluable when dealing with a narcissist. This could be a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional. Sharing your experiences, frustrations, and feelings with someone who understands you can provide emotional relief.
Avoid power struggles
Narcissists love to win and can drag you into unnecessary power struggles. Try to avoid this by not engaging in arguments that you know are counterproductive.
