There is a fine line between influence and manipulation, and no one knows this better than a covert narcissist.
These individuals are adept at using language to control, manipulate, and subtly degrade others, often without their victims realizing what is happening.
The trick to spotting a covert narcissist is to understand the phrases they typically use. These phrases are their secret weapons, allowing them to maintain control while appearing innocent.
In this article, we will reveal the mystery behind 6 such phrases. These may seem harmless on the surface, but they are classic tactics of the covert narcissist.
Fasten seat belts! It’s time to learn how to spot these tactics and protect yourself from their manipulative influence.
1) “I’m not like others…”
Navigating the complex world of interpersonal relationships can be difficult, especially when dealing with a covert narcissist.
These individuals are experts at making themselves seem special, misunderstood, or even victims. They often use phrases that set themselves apart from others, suggesting a sense of superiority or uniqueness.
A common phrase you may hear is “I’m not like others…”. This phrase is a classic narcissistic tactic designed to make you feel exceptional.
In reality, this is a manipulative strategy to make you feel proud to be in their company, while also subtly indicating that any criticism or negative comments you have are invalid because they are simply “different.”
Be careful when you hear this phrase. It’s a red flag that you may be dealing with a covert narcissist!
Every person has unique qualities, but using them as a shield against criticism or a tool for manipulation is a classic narcissistic tactic.
2) “You are too sensitive…”
This is what personally surprised me in the past.
I remember having a conversation with a friend, expressing how much their actions had hurt me. Instead of acknowledging my feelings or apologizing, they hit me with “You’re too sensitive…”.
This phrase is a textbook tactic of the covert narcissist. They use it to deflect blame, invalidate your feelings, and maintain control of the relationship.
In my case, it made me second-guess myself, and wonder if I was being too sensitive. But over time, I realized that my feelings were valid, and it was their way of avoiding taking responsibility for their actions.
So beware when someone tells you that you are too sensitive. It is not a reflection of your sensitivity but rather an indication that you may be dealing with a covert narcissist.
3) “I hate drama…”
These narcissists have been known to say, “I hate drama…”, usually while causing or provoking drama themselves.
This phrase is a clever manipulation tactic aimed at portraying them as the reasonable party, even when they are the source of the conflict. It’s their way of making others feel guilty for addressing issues or setting boundaries.
They enjoy creating drama to distract from their behavior, then claim they don’t like the drama they’ve created or are victims of it.
Related : 6 phrases narcissists use to make you the bad guy, according to psychology
So, when you hear the phrase “I hate drama…”, be careful. He may be a covert narcissist trying to control the narrative.
4) “I always try to help people…”
They are also known for their grandiose statements about their charitable nature. One of these phrases you might hear a lot is: “I always try to help people…”
On the surface, this seems like a noble sentiment. But it is often used to create a façade of selflessness, hiding their true intentions.
They use “helping” as a way to control or manipulate others. The help they provide often comes with strings attached and is used as leverage in future interactions.
So, if someone repeatedly emphasizes how much they help others, take note. It could be a sign of a covert narcissist who tries to portray himself as the hero, while subtly manipulating those around him.
5) “Why can’t you be happy for me?”
It’s a phrase that touches your heart, “Why can’t you be happy for me?” Who wouldn’t want to cheer on the success of a loved one?
But in the hands of the secret narcissist, it is a weapon. This phrase is commonly used to deflect criticism or feel guilty for ignoring their mistakes.
It’s also a way to shift the focus away from your feelings and back to them – ensuring they remain the center of attention.
It’s heartbreaking when someone you care about uses your love and care against you. But remember that your feelings and fears are valid, too. Don’t let the covert narcissist make you feel guilty for expressing it.
6) “If you cared about me, you would…”
This hit me hard a few years ago. A close friend said to me, “If you cared about me, you would…”
This phrase is a classic guilt trip, used by covert narcissists to manipulate and control. They use it to force compliance and question your loyalty or love if you don’t meet their demands.
In my case, this friend was asking for something that went against my values. It was a difficult situation, but it made me realize that true care and respect is a two-way street.
So, if someone starts questioning your feelings based on your desire to meet their demands, pause. It could be a sign of a secret narcissist trying to manipulate your emotions!
