Are you being manipulated by your adult child? Even if they are selfish and tire you out, find creative ways to stop your child’s manipulative behavior.
Let’s take a look at why and how children’s manipulative behavior occurs.
As a parenting coach, I often hear concerns similar to what Joanne said to me recently: “My adult daughter Briana knows exactly what she would say to make me feel guilty, then give in to her unreasonable demands. I try to be kind and generous but she makes me feel like the worst, most unsupportive parent in the world!” “
Before I go any further, let me say this: I realize that there are many toxic parents out there for adult children. If you were an adult child of truly toxic parents that traumatized you, I sympathize. I also work with many adult children who have been abused and abused by their parents. As a parent, I’ve made my share of mistakes and I could have done some things better. At the same time, there are countless parents who do their best while falling far short of perfection.
So, if you are a frustrated adult child, know your worth and take it back. Don’t compromise your worth by riding a horse named Victim and heading over and over to the same rodeo. Don’t blame your parents for your struggles without even looking in the mirror. Ask yourself how you can move toward your valuable independence.
Related: 5 Red Flags And Blind Spots When Dating A Narcissist
Bottom line: Learn to feel good about knowing your own value as an adult even if your parent(s) did not do the best job of seeing it or expressing it.
When your adult child tries to convince you to be ashamed by pressing demands, when your adult child is emotionally abusive, or when your adult child fails to acknowledge your love and/or the positive things you’ve done, draw boundaries and say, or at least think, enough is enough:
It’s enough to be a punching bag for misplaced frustrations and frustrations and pranks.
It’s enough to beat yourself up for the past mistakes you made as a parent.
It’s enough to be what I call a parent to the SWAT team. Stop setting yourself up to be automatically on standby and solve the next manufactured crisis full of drama.
It is enough to compare yourself negatively to parents of adult children who do not have the same struggles as you.
Read Raising Well-Behaved Kids: Wrong vs. Smart Discipline
Next time your adult child tries to manipulate or hurt you, back off and do the following:
How to stop manipulating your adult child
- Whether you are communicating in person, over the phone, or through text messages inside your mind, rise up and watch the toxic manipulations from above.
- Understand these manipulations for what they are and thank yourself for seeing them instead of wallowing in them and being a victim of them.
- Now, think “Enough!” And if you feel it is appropriate, also say “enough”.
- Knowing when enough is enough enables you to set those firm boundaries with your adult child and not fall victim to manipulation.
