In the world of narcissistic relationships, the term “flying monkey” is often used to describe individuals who inadvertently or intentionally enable the manipulative behavior of the narcissist. These flying monkeys act as helpers, assisting the narcissist in their schemes and often resulting in harm to others. In this article, we will explore the concept of flying monkeys, how they become entangled with narcissistic dynamics, and the steps to break free from this role.
Understanding the narcissistic flying monkey
The term “flying monkey” originates from “The Wizard of Oz”, in which the evil witch used her winged monkeys to carry out her orders. In narcissistic relationships, flying monkeys are individuals who act on behalf of the narcissist, often without realizing the harm they are causing. They may spread rumours, engage in character assassination, or manipulate others to benefit the narcissist’s agenda.
Characteristics of the flying monkey
To decide whether to play the Flying Monkey, consider these common characteristics:
Loyalty to the Narcissist: You are fiercely loyal to the narcissist, even when their actions are questionable or harmful.
Absolute compliance: You follow the narcissist’s orders or requests without question, believing that she is always right.
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Engaging in Manipulation: You engage in manipulative tactics or spread false information to support the narcissist’s agenda.
Lack of empathy: You may ignore the feelings or well-being of others who have been harmed by your actions on behalf of the narcissist.
Denial or Ignoring: You may deny or remain unaware of the damage caused by your involvement with the narcissist.
How flying monkeys are trapped
Flying monkeys can become trapped in a narcissist’s web through various means:
Manipulation and Persuasion: Narcissists are skilled at manipulating others into doing their bidding. They may use flattery, guilt, or threats to gain compliance.
Exploiting Loyalty: If you have a pre-existing loyalty or emotional connection with the narcissist, they can exploit that to their advantage.
Misinformation: Narcissists often present false information or a skewed perspective to justify their actions, making it difficult for flying monkeys to discern the truth.
Freedom from the role of the flying monkey
Realizing your role as a flying monkey is the first step toward freedom from the narcissist’s influence. Here are some strategies to consider:
Self-reflection: Think about your actions and their consequences. Acknowledge the harm you have caused and the manipulation you may have been a victim of.
Set Boundaries: Set boundaries with the narcissist. Make it clear that you will not engage in any harmful behavior on their behalf.
Seek support: Trust friends, family, or a trusted therapist who can provide guidance and support as you separate yourself from the narcissist.
Educate yourself: Learn about narcissistic behavior and manipulation tactics to better understand the dynamics at play.
Rebuild Empathy: Reconnect with your empathy and consider the feelings and well-being of others. Apologize and make amends to those you have hurt.
Conclusion
Breaking free from the role of the narcissistic flying monkey requires self-reflection, setting boundaries, seeking support, and rebuilding empathy. Recognizing the damage done and taking the necessary steps to free yourself from the grip of a manipulative narcissist is essential to your well-being and ending your unwitting participation in harmful behaviors. Remember, breaking free from this role is a step toward healing and regaining your independence.
