“Am I still a person if no one is watching me?” That was the question fourteen-year-old Madison asked her best friend Jen on her way to the mall. What prompted Madison to ask the question was a video she had made over the summer—choosing the backdrop and location, planning her outfit and hair, even writing the dialogue in advance—and uploading it to YouTube on her first day of high school. She hoped the video would go viral and make her famous, but—to her dismay—only 54 people watched it. With 350 friends on Facebook and 400 contacts on her phone, she was worried. Why weren’t people watching? Jen’s mother listened and then asked, “Madison, why do you want to be famous?” Madison replied, “So I can be rich and everyone knows me.” Dreams of fame aren’t unique to the youngest millennials, of course; In the 1930s, young moviegoers dreamed of being Shirley Temple, and in the 1950s, the first generation exposed to television watched the Mickey Mouse Club, wearing Mouseketeer hats, wanting to be Annette or Darlene or Bobby or Cappy. But today, celebrity worship permeates every field and medium, and teens and pre-teens have the technological means to try to make themselves famous outside their immediate circle of friends through YouTube—“Post Yourself!”—and other social media sites that other generations did not.
Dr. Patricia Greenfield has argued that there is a cultural shift, which she and Yalda Ohls have explored in several studies. One study examined the cultural context of fame, looking at television programs from 1967 to 2007, and what values these programs promoted through example and message to viewers aged 10 to 12. In 1977, shows like Laverne & Shirley and Happy Days promoted community first (fame was ranked 13th); by 2007, by contrast, shows like Hannah Montana and American Idol promoted fame first and foremost. In fact, by 2007, the value of belonging or community had dropped to 13th place—meaning that values had shifted in different places over 30 years. Another study by Uhls and Greenfield showed how technology and celebrity culture conspire to convince preteens that fame—along with personal fulfillment and financial success—is a primary goal in life. Uhls and Dr. Greenfield hypothesize that this cultural shift is due in part to the powerful influence of television on both aspirations and behavior—along with shows that focus on fame, such as Hannah Montana and American Idol. Of course, they also note that “fame” seems to be possible through both YouTube and social media. (But it should be noted that their sample was small and conducted in Los Angeles—the home of Hollywood—so, as they put it, “we cannot conclude that our findings are representative of American youth.”)
But it is clear, at least anecdotally, that the proliferation of reality shows—where fame is tied not to talent or ability but to being on TV—emphasizes the idea that anyone can be famous, and many, if not all, teens seem to take that idea seriously. Not all of them post on YouTube, though many do watch. According to YouTube’s demographics, 55% of teens, or 21.6 million people, watch. Many also work hard on Facebook and other sites to become stars—like the Kardashians—in their drama. The larger question, which I have posed before, is what happens to the construction of the self when you are so tied to an audience and attention? Here again, this is not particularly new; teens have always needed an audience and its feedback—traditionally parents, teachers, mentors, and other adults; siblings, and cousins; Building an emerging self requires us to know ourselves, and to… This topic has alarmed the general public and experts alike, who have wondered why young girls (and some boys) would subject themselves to cruelty.
For some, the answer seems to be fame. Take, for example, the most-viewed video, “Am I Pretty or Ugly?”, uploaded in December 2010 by sga1901, who, according to her profile at least, is a 15-year-old girl named Kendall, who plays baseball and loves singing and drawing. Her video—which begins with her wearing a hat with a koala face and ears—has garnered 5,277,886 views as of this writing, and nearly 129,000 comments! The comments range from supportive to downright disgusting to downright disapproving. As I watch the video—both through the eyes of a parent and as a co-author of a book about teenage girls who has interviewed many of them—I’m struck by Kendall’s poise. She doesn’t seem to care much about whether the photo makes her look good, and frankly, she seems to know the answer to whether she’s ugly or pretty, to begin with. She knows how to act cute and “girly,” make heart-shaped fingers, and blow kisses. So what’s up? Well, there’s a hint in her profile, where she lists her occupation as “being cool” and posts “If you subscribe to my channel, I’ll subscribe to yours” with a smiley face. (So far, she has 4,868 subscribers.) In addition to “Am I Pretty or Ugly?” she has thirteen other YouTube videos, including a video of her singing (65,571 views and 1,129 comments), two videos featuring a “challenge” contest that didn’t get much attention, and another video of her having a pillow fight with her brother. I wonder if her parents know about these clips because she mentions using her mom’s camera.
It’s not hard to see how tempting it can be for teens and young adults—think of the success of Justin Bieber, Kate Upton, and others—to think, “That could be me,” and how that thought alone can be enough to tip the scales of any sense of caution or concern about risk. But the risks are very real: they leave a child vulnerable to cruelty and bullying, at a time in life when the ego can be fragile and self-esteem a precious commodity. Videos like “Am I Pretty or Ugly?” underscore the culture’s obsession with physical beauty as the only way to define oneself. Is all this public display, this need for attention, a sign of something else? In the discussion section of their study, Dr. Greenfield and Yalda Oles wrote that “fame is an aspiration that narcissists imagine achieving; our findings suggest that the documented historical increase in narcissistic personality in emerging adults begins in the preadolescent years with a desire for fame. “There is a potential synergy between monitoring fame-oriented content on television shows and enacting the value of fame through participation in an online video posting.”
But are we raising a nation of narcissists? The question seems especially relevant given statistics released last fall by Common Sense Media, which looked at children’s media use from birth to age 8. The study found that 10 percent of children under 1 have used a smartphone, iPod, iPad, or other tablet. Thirty-nine percent of children ages 2 to 4 have used such devices, and 52 percent of children ages 5 to 8 have. Despite the American Academy of Pediatrics’ recommendation against screens for children under 2, 47 percent of children ages 0 to 1 watch television or videos for about two hours a day. By contrast, they are read for an average of 23 minutes. And 66 percent of children under 2 have watched television, and television remains the most watched medium overall. Is it inevitable that “fame” will continue to impress even the youngest children with its importance, especially if their parents are posting photos and videos of themselves? Why aren’t parents paying attention to the power of the screen? Can technology turn a child into a narcissist?
Unsurprisingly, the answer is more nuanced than a simple “yes” or “no.” I turned to Dr. Caryl McBride, an expert on narcissism and a blogger on this site, for her opinion. She told me, “I think we live in a very narcissistic culture today, with an ‘all about me’ mentality. New technology, the focus on celebrity, and the constant concern with ‘how we look’ and ‘what we do’ are powerful messages. But narcissism has always been around, and while the common understanding of narcissism is about arrogance and selfish behavior, that’s only part of it.”
“At a deeper level,” explains Dr. McBride, “narcissism is the inability to be emotionally attuned to others. It’s a lack of empathy, and it’s very damaging to relationships. Can technology like texting, email, Facebook, etc. feed into a lack of emotional connection? I think so. But if kids are treated with empathy and taught to respond empathetically and care for others, it’s not an either/or situation. We just have to be more emotionally intelligent than our technology. The technological revolution has happened so quickly and continues to evolve at an extraordinary pace, more like a cultural tsunami than anything else. We’ve all been swept up in it, with little or no time for reflection. We need to pay attention to the messages that all the media our kids are exposed to is sending and the impact that it might have on their behaviors.”
