Narcissists don’t always have OCD, but they may show symptoms that suggest some degree of pathological anxiety disorder.
Some psychologists believe that “narcissistic personalities are particularly prone to OCD,” while others argue that they are more likely to have factitious disorder.
So, what’s the difference?
OCD is an anxiety disorder that causes people to imagine physical symptoms or fear that they have a serious illness.
Factitious disorders cause people to imagine symptoms, just like OCD, but instead of doing so out of fear, they do so to deceive others.
Some people with OCD, like those with factitious disorder, may not want to be cured but are simply looking for someone to witness and validate their suffering. This is very similar to how a narcissist behaves.
Let’s take a closer look at how narcissists use their fake health problems to manipulate others around them and see how and whether this is different from OCD.
Do Narcissists Have OCD?
Not all narcissists have OCD, nor are all people with OCD narcissists, but there are areas where the two conditions may overlap.
For many grandiose narcissists, the very idea of illness is repulsive. To them, the slightest hint of pain is a sign of failure. But for covert narcissists or those with less grandiose tendencies, illness can seem very attractive.
Introverted narcissists are obsessed with everything, including their health. They will also use their imagined health problems to attract attention and secure special treatment.
Unlike those with grandiose narcissism, these individuals expect the world to revolve around their every twinge.
They believe they suffer more than anyone else and use their illnesses to gain sympathy and maintain their uniqueness.
This is similar to OCD in that both are constantly focused on their health and exaggerate minor inconveniences into major medical concerns.
While not all narcissists exhibit phobia tendencies, a subset of narcissists, particularly those with covert or introverted traits, may use or feign phobia to satisfy their insatiable need for attention, admiration, and control.
6 Reasons Why Narcissists Lie About Their Health
Narcissists may act like phobia sufferers for a number of reasons, including
1 To get attention
Patients crave attention from their family, friends, and medical professionals. Whatever they need, someone will provide it, hoping to ease their discomfort and ease their pain. This suits the narcissist perfectly, giving them the attention they crave.
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As long as everyone is focused on them, this compensates for the narcissist’s low self-esteem and perceived lack of acceptance.
Imagine you’re at a family gathering to celebrate your nephew’s recent graduation. Your narcissistic partner realizes she’s not the center of attention, so when the family sits down to dinner, she starts clutching her stomach and groaning. When someone asks her what’s wrong, she vaguely mentions that she’s feeling sick and has sudden stomach pains.
Instantly, attention shifts from your nephew’s accomplishments to your partner’s well-being. She’s accomplished her goal and now everyone is thinking about her instead of your nephew, making her the most important person in the room.
2 To impress you
When I was growing up, my dad’s colds were always worse than anyone else’s. We could all drown in a sea of snot and misery, but he would have suffered more. This is typical narcissistic behavior and some narcissists will go to extreme lengths, even using it to impress you.
Let’s say your narcissistic partner has a bad cold, but you’ve been battling Covid for the past few months. The minute you start snoring and sneezing, the complaints start, and everyone within earshot knows how awful it feels.
One evening, your partner asks you to make them a sandwich, but you tell them you have a terrible headache and need to lie down.
They immediately turn to you, saying, “You have no right to complain. Your problems are nothing compared to mine. My symptoms are much worse than yours – you’re just doing this out of spite.”
By minimizing your symptoms and exaggerating their own, they’re trying to undermine you and make you doubt yourself. They’ll minimize your need for support while inflating their own like a balloon animal at a children’s party.
It’s as if they’re using their leaky nose to fog up the mirror that reflects your reality, making you wonder if you’re the one who’s completely at fault.
3 Playing the Victim
The narcissist is unable to prove his or her self-worth, which leaves him or her feeling constantly deprived. Their high expectations are never met, which means they constantly struggle with feeling deprived and victimized.
For narcissists who engage in phobias, the imagined illness provides the perfect narrative. They can spin a story that their lives would be great without these ongoing health issues. They would have soared to the top of their game, gotten that elusive promotion, and enjoyed all the wonderful things in life if only annoying doctor’s appointments hadn’t kept them from doing so.
In this way, they portray themselves as the ultimate victims. They are fighting a courageous battle against these invisible enemies and they don’t get the credit they so rightfully deserve.
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And the beauty of all this? They gain an audience for their plight, an enthusiastic audience ready to comfort them and comfort them some more. In their story, they don’t just survive; they overcome all odds. It’s a perfect self-written script that satisfies their insatiable need for attention, compassion, and affirmation.
4 To Get Special Treatment
Narcissists will use their poor health to get those around them to treat them differently. They may even ask a doctor to give them special documents so they can get the best parking spot or preferential treatment.
There’s a great story on Quora that illustrates this point perfectly.
Gwen McVey writes about her stepmother, who says she had a knack for contracting life-threatening illnesses at the worst possible times.
One Christmas, she started having severe abdominal pain and said she needed immediate attention. There was just one problem – none of the local doctors wanted to do it. Instead, she insisted on driving her daughter from Minneapolis to Pennsylvania to take her to a doctor in Minnesota – a round trip of over 1,000 miles!
The diagnosis? Constipation! But that didn’t matter – she made sure to get everyone’s attention and some special treatment!
This story shows the lengths some narcissists will go to in their attempts to cause drama and get special treatment.
5 Inducing Guilt
Narcissists can make their uninformed victims feel guilty and remorseful by playing the role of the perpetual sufferer.
When people express concern and offer help, the narcissist increases their dependence on others. Whether they’re relying on someone to cook dinner or asking for emotional support, the narcissist is making it clear that they’re in need. This dependence creates a sense of guilt in those around them, who feel obligated to help.
The narcissist knows how to tug at the heartstrings. They may hint at feeling neglected or unimportant because of their health issues. This emotional manipulation places the burden of guilt on those around them, making them feel responsible for the narcissist’s well-being.
Imagine a narcissist who habitually exaggerates their health issues. They frequently cancel plans, claiming that their condition has worsened. As a close friend, you may feel guilty for wanting to spend time with others or participate in activities that they can’t participate in.
They will use this guilt to keep your attention focused on them and ensure that you’re spending your time running after them instead of meeting your needs.
6 Avoiding Responsibility
While you should be on hand to accommodate an OCD narcissist’s every whim, they are too sick to do anything at all, including taking responsibility for their actions.
They will be in so much pain that they won’t make it to your son’s soccer game. They won’t be able to help around the house because of their back pain, or their aching chest means they won’t be able to join you on a family outing on Sunday.
Narcissists will use their imagined or exaggerated symptoms to evade responsibility and avoid honoring plans or commitments. They may also use their illness to justify their behavior, saying they get angry easily because of constant pain or forget important dates because they are so exhausted.
They may also use their symptoms to shift the blame onto you, saying that your constant nagging makes them feel bad or that you’re neglecting them when in reality, you’re busy doing all the tasks they normally do.
How are narcissism and OCD related?
Both narcissists and OCDers seek attention, but in different ways. Narcissists crave admiration and hope that others will express concern for their well-being.
Narcissists may feel entitled to special treatment because of their perceived superiority, while OCDers may seek special attention because of their perceived fragility.
Both conditions involve an increased focus on the self. Narcissists are selfish because of their inflated sense of self-importance, while OCDers focus on their health because of excessive worry or fear of illness.
The underlying causes of narcissism and OCD can sometimes overlap. Early life experiences, such as neglect, trauma, or consistent parental disbelief, can contribute to both conditions. Individuals with narcissistic traits may develop pathological phobias to get the attention they lacked in childhood.