When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You grow up not knowing where your parent begins and ends.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You question yourself even when what your parent did is clearly and visibly hurtful to others.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
The child is likely to be the true parent in many ways – to themselves and to the narcissistic parent.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You try to be good without knowing that goodness is not necessarily the goal, but the authentic – first to yourself and then to others.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You learn to cling to the smallest crumbs of belief that they didn’t fail as parents because part of you, like a child, believes you need them to survive.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You feel appalled by their cruelty, but you can’t really distance yourself from them.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You tell yourself to only listen to the “words they say” when they are being nice to you, not the underlying messages your heart or gut knows are being conveyed.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You are always put down even during a quiet period when it seems like you have been promoted.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You probably have a sibling who exhibits more of these narcissistic traits but has hidden or concealed their presence.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
They will love the polite sibling more because others see how polite that sibling is, and it is interpreted as “together” and “better,” but this is all superficial—even though it seems very real to you.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You will be told to take responsibility for yourself, but what this really means is that you are taking care of the narcissistic parent by doing what they want.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You will not easily understand why you feel out of place, even when you are fit and have great friends.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You and your siblings may believe that you were raised by different parents, with neither of them understanding why you do not feel loved, or that your parents loved each other.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You may not realize that your sibling is bearing the brunt of your parent’s anger, and that you do not realize it.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You may not want to hear your sibling talk about realizing that your father is a narcissist.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You may be in denial, especially if you were the favorite child, because your parent wasn’t a narcissist but was driven and simply wanted the best for the less favorite sibling who was more sensitive and took things more seriously, and you feel frustrated with that sibling.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You try not to know what you know.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You probably feel like who you are isn’t the right thing to be.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You have to learn to dig deep inside yourself and trust what you find.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You must remember that you exist and that you are separate from your parent.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
Please understand that extracting yourself from the narcissistic dynamic is hard and often confusing work – but it is totally worth it, as is your life.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
You can live for yourself, not for them.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
And if you have children, the inner work you do to differentiate yourself from the narcissistic parent is crucial for you and your children.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
The hated child (vs. the loved child) may have a better chance of recovering sooner because the pain is more acute and faster.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
The loved child (vs. the hated child) may not understand his or her jealousy of the hated child; this can be confusing to the favored/loved child who believes he or she has lived in some sort of bliss and escaped the parent’s wrath.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
Don’t confuse admiration with true love, or with being about you.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
Don’t confuse being abused with being attached.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
Protecting yourself is only part of healing; the inner work to help you heal is where you will begin to trust yourself, love yourself, understand yourself, and grow.
When Your Parent Is a Narcissist…
