It is likely that at some point in your life you have met a master manipulator.

Master manipulators are everywhere in today’s society, from friends and family members to celebrities and politicians. Of course, we all use manipulation to get what we want. From a young child, we learned that pleading with sad eyes was more likely to earn us that sweet treat. As adults, we tend to be more subtle in our manipulations. But here we are talking about a master manipulator. A person who regularly uses certain behaviors in order to gain an advantage over another person.

The master manipulator will want complete control over another person. As such, they would use covert methods to gain that control. The last thing a master manipulator wants is direct talk and direct communication. They thrive on mind games, reality distortion, outright lies and deception of the victim.

We all want to get away from the master manipulator. But first, it is important to know what to look for.

So how can we spot the main manipulator?
Master manipulators will use a range of behaviors including:
Charm
He lies
denial
compliments
flatter
mockery
Mind manipulation
Shame
intimidation
The silent treatment
Here are some of the most common tactics of the master manipulator:
They are skilled at communicating
Master manipulators use language to confuse their victims. She can look charming at first and then transform at any moment.

They are effective communicators and language is their number one weapon in their arsenal. Without the effective use of language, they will not be able to lie, win arguments, use sarcasm, and drop awkward commentary.

With the language they use, they control the other person. They will sneer and then take the insult back at the other person by being amazed that they took it seriously.

They will look for a weak person
Even the master manipulator at the top of the game knows it’s best to target a vulnerable person.

Strong-minded people, who do not give in to mind games or deception of any kind. This means that they are not the best people to manipulate. A person who has low self-esteem doesn’t have many friends, and isn’t confident in their abilities is a prime target. These people are easy to manipulate and control and will not question a manipulator’s behavior until it is too late.

They always stick to their story

Master manipulators never break away from the character they created. They will have built an entire story based on lies. For them to be able to manipulate each other, they must stick to it.

This is why language is so important. Remembering the lies they’ve told in the past, being able to skip questions and replace them with accusations, constantly flicking the target’s posts – this can only be achieved by staying true to their bank of lies.

They will claim to be the victim
Another part of the master manipulator’s arsenal is turning the narrative on its head and claiming to be the actual victim. They will make their target feel like they are in the wrong.

The real victim will be emotional when remembering the traumatic events. A person claiming to be a victim will be honest about their past and not dwell on it. The real victim will need support and understanding. The person claiming to be a victim will use their past to gain an advantage over their actual victim.

They will justify their actions
This is a bit like someone telling a hurtful joke at the expense of a loved one saying it was just a joke. The master manipulator will justify his or her actions as an excuse for harmful behavior.

By rationalizing what they have done, they are able to present their actions in a good light. This is another secret way they can keep their true intentions under wraps. It is another tactic they use to control the person. It allows them to continue using this same behavior, without issue.

We are against the world
This is called “forced teamwork” and is where the master manipulator uses “us” to create a sense that it is us against the world, not the manipulator who is taking advantage.

Act as if they are on a team together, the manipulator’s actions do not appear to be harmful to the victim. The manipulator will use words like “both of us,” “together,” and “us” to evoke a sense of cooperation.

Master manipulators are in all walks of life and use a myriad of manipulation techniques to gain an advantage over their victims. Thus, it is important for us to recognize these signs. As a result, we can at least be aware of it and try to keep our distance.