Narcissistic abuse can be subtle, but ending the cycle is possible.

Maintaining a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) can sometimes be difficult.

Characteristics of narcissism that can make a relationship seem one-sided may include:

An inflated sense of self-worth
Lack of empathy
Constant need for attention
Sometimes, narcissists may be abusive toward certain people in their lives.

Narcissistic abuse can be:

• passionate
• My mind
• physical
• Sexual
• Financial
• spiritual

The damage caused by this type of abuse may be obvious, but in many cases it is more subtle.

If you are dealing with narcissistic abuse, it is important to realize that you do not deserve this type of treatment and do not have to endure it.

It is understandable to be reluctant to confront the perpetrator. Narcissists are usually skilled at using manipulation to shift blame onto others. They may even try to use gaslighting to make you doubt your own perceptions.

The good news is that there are some effective ways to confront a narcissist who uses abusive tactics.

Traits of a narcissistic abuser

While many adults display some narcissistic traits, people diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) have an actual personality disorder. Borderline personality disorder affects up to 5.3% of people.

People with narcissistic personality disorder do not make behavioral decisions to be narcissistic. Rather, they suffer from a disorder that causes them to behave in ways that many people often find disgusting.

However, you don’t have to put up with abuse from anyone, regardless of their diagnosis.

Signs of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
People with narcissistic personality disorder are typically driven by a desire for power—including control over others—often by underlying shame and low self-esteem.

Some warning signs of narcissistic personality disorder can include:

An exaggerated sense of self-importance
Tendency to manipulate others
Strong feelings of jealousy or envy
Feeling superior to others
Acting arrogantly or overly confident
A strong desire to be more successful, intelligent, powerful, or attractive than others
The need for constant admiration
Exaggerating achievements and talents
Unable to recognize the needs of others
Difficulty dealing with cash
He feels angry that their sense of grandeur is being challenged
Not everyone with narcissistic personality disorder will display abusive behaviors, and not all abusers have narcissistic personality disorder.

Power, control, and narcissistic abuse

The target of narcissistic abuse is usually power.

Narcissists may attempt to enhance their control and power while creating doubt, shame, or dependency in the person being abused. These types of behaviors can help narcissists hide their feelings of inferiority.

In a 2021 study, researchers found that narcissistic behaviors are usually driven by insecurity, not an inflated sense of self.

People with borderline personality disorder may display intense anger and violence, including sexual aggression. Or they can use subtle methods to manipulate others. Either way, it’s still abuse.

The narcissist rarely takes responsibility for his behavior. Generally, they deny their actions and exacerbate the abuse by blaming the person being abused.

Symptoms of narcissistic abuse

Symptoms of narcissistic abuse can vary in tactics and severity. A narcissistic abuser may use violence or harsh words. Or they may manipulate you using the silent treatment.

Abusive tactics

Common tactics used by narcissistic abusers can include:

• Insist on satisfying them
• Isolating you from family or friends
• Spotlight on you
• Get angry or physically abusive if their needs are not met
• Verbal abuse, including belittling, bullying, threats or defamation
• Demanding unconditional love without giving it in return
• Control your money or privacy
• Spreading rumors about you
• Acting overly emotional to get what they want
• Focus on your flaws and insults
• Effects of narcissistic abuse

Experiencing narcissistic abuse can be a confusing and painful experience. It can be difficult to identify and avoid being the target of abuse. For some, it can be difficult to escape abuse and manipulation once it starts.

However, it is possible to end the cycle and regain your power and freedom after abuse. Understanding the effects of narcissistic abuse can help you recognize it.

Effects of narcissistic abuse can include:

Constant feeling that something is wrong
Questioning your self-worth or sanity
Feeling excessively concerned about your failures and shortcomings
Difficulty knowing what is real and what is not
Respect the narcissistic person
Doing whatever their abuser asks them to do
Stay away from friends and family