communication.

We’ve all heard time and time again that this is the key to a successful relationship. But what does that really mean? Of course, every relationship is different, and every person is different. But the basics of communication are the same. There is such a thing as toxic communication within a relationship, and this can definitely be a relationship killer.

Examples of Toxic Communication (And What You Can Try Instead)
Cash

There are many of us guilty of this communication problem. Criticism is when you have a disagreement with your partner, and you say something that attacks their character. For example, “You’re late again; Something like, “I would like to spend more time with you” or “I feel anxious when you are late.” This can help you work with your partner, not against them.

defensiveness

It’s easy to fall into this cycle of defensive accusations during an argument. It starts with something simple like: “You didn’t wash the dishes.” But it ends up escalating to the point where there are no more accusations, and you’re both hurt and angry. This vicious circle solves nothing. You simply go around in circles until you forget what you were talking about in the first place. The best way to break this vicious cycle is to listen to what your partner has to say and not change the subject. Listen to them and take responsibility.

Screaming

In a long-term relationship, it’s almost inevitable that you’ll raise your voice at your partner at some point. However, the problem comes if this is a normal thing for you. If you find yourself screaming every time you argue, that’s a problem. Yelling does not help communication. The only thing screaming achieves is to bring out a stronger emotional reaction in your partner and direct his or her mind toward defense. Try heading in the direction of calm discussion instead.

The silent treatment

This is a very common technique in relationships. It is generally used as punishment in the same way as it was used on the field. The truth is, there is nothing constructive about using the silent treatment to end or “win” an argument. All it does is break the lines of communication and create resentment in your partner.

Don’t ask for what you need

Your partner is not a mind reader. This is something we often need to be reminded of in a relationship. They can’t read your mind; You have to tell them what you need. If you don’t talk about your needs and wants, you won’t feel upset when they don’t give them to you. The only way you can be on the same page in your relationship and in life is by communicating your needs, desires, and expectations to each other. Don’t be afraid to speak up.

place the blame

“You have made me very angry.” “It’s impossible to reason with you.” These are all statements of blame. In the heat of the moment, it’s easy to take out your frustration on your partner and blame all your anger on them. However, you have to take responsibility for your part of the problem and for your own feelings. Instead of shifting blame, try turning it around and saying, “I feel angry when this happens” or “I feel hurt by this.”

Exit alarms

If your first instinct when things get tough is to threaten to leave, you have a bigger problem than a simple argument. “If you don’t stop, I’ll leave,” or “Okay, then leave” are open threats that do nothing but create anxiety and contempt within the relationship. Leaving should never be an ultimatum unless you are truly at the end of your rope and plan to follow through. Using this toxic method of communication as a weapon to “win” an argument is hurtful and unfair to your partner.

He doesn’t listen

This seems like it should be obvious. However, the big problem many people have with this is that they hear what is being said but are not really listening to their partner. You have to engage with what they are saying. If you’re jumping to the defense or overthinking your response, you’re not really listening to them.

Communication is one of the most important parts of a relationship, so make sure both of you are constantly working on improving it. It is never too late to improve the way you communicate with your partner in order to build a strong, long-lasting and successful relationship.