A toxic relationship can cause a lot of emotional and psychological harm – to one or both partners.
But here’s the thing: It’s not always easy to recognize the warning signs, especially when you’re deeply invested in the relationship.
People don’t realize how toxic their relationship is until things get really bad.
And when things go wrong, you should be able to take the necessary steps to protect your mental health.
To help you out, I’m going to share a list of 13 warning signs that your relationship is becoming toxic.
Let’s get it straight:
1) Constant criticism
One of the most common warning signs that your relationship is becoming toxic is when your partner keeps finding fault with everything you say and do.
I left the light on in the kitchen again.
You forgot to put the toilet seat down.
You are so naive, you really believe what they say on the news.
You silly, how can you think of such things…
Now, it’s important to keep in mind that it’s normal to be subject to a small dose of criticism in a relationship, it’s human nature after all.
But the constant criticism that makes you feel worthless and no good isn’t normal, it’s toxic.
2) lack of confidence
If your partner keeps checking you to see where you are and who you’re with, if they get jealous easily, or if you catch them snooping on your phone, you’re dealing with someone who doesn’t trust you.
And guess what – trust is essential to a healthy relationship!
Some people have trouble trusting because they have been hurt in the past. I get it.
But if they don’t deal with the past, they carry it with them into their other relationships, creating a negative atmosphere.
Simply put: a distrust of toxic plants in a relationship and you need to address it ASAP.
3) Behavior control
Well, it usually happens when your partner gets jealous and insecure.
They are afraid of losing you, but instead of dealing with their issues and working on your relationship, they are trying to keep you by force – by controlling your behavior.
For example, they will monitor your whereabouts by constantly texting you and calling you to find out where you are. They will want to know what you do and who you are with.
You may even feel like you can’t make a decision without them and that you’re constantly walking on eggshells to avoid blowing them.
This is actually a very big warning sign. No one should tell you how to live your life, let alone control you!
4) Solitude
Building on their controlling behavior is their attempt to isolate you from the others in your life.
Ask yourself:
Does your partner want you to spend all of your free time with them?
When you have plans to go out with friends, does your partner try to guilt-trip spending time with them instead?
Are they trying to create conflict between you and your family?
These are just a few examples of how your partner may try to isolate you and prevent you from having other relationships in your life.
If it sounds like something your partner does, you need to talk to them about it and let them know that it’s unacceptable behavior.
And if you don’t feel like you can talk to them, and if things are going too far, it’s important to reach out to a friend, family member, or professional for help.
Remember that even though you may feel isolated, there is always someone you can connect with!
5) Lots of arguments
Does it seem like all you’re doing lately is fighting with your partner?
Would it be fair to say that you spend more time fighting or not talking to each other after a fight than you do enjoying each other’s company?
If you answered yes, it is likely that your relationship is heading in a bad direction.
Everyone argues, but their arguments are not supposed to dominate their relationship.
So what happened to you? Everything seemed to go well at first and now it seems to be turning into a nightmare.
Does this mean you are with the wrong person? Or is there something wrong you are doing?
Well, according to world-famous shaman Rudá Iandê, the answer lies in your relationship with yourself.
In his free, eye-opening video, he explains how most of us grew up with the wrong idea of what love was. Fairy tales and Hollywood have us searching for something that isn’t there, so it’s really no surprise that we end up in toxic relationships.
If you want to know why you’re in a toxic relationship and what you can do about it, I highly recommend hearing what Rhoda has to say.
6) Disrespect
Here’s the truth: You can’t have a happy, healthy relationship without respect.
A healthy relationship means that both partners feel free to express their feelings and opinions. They know they will be validated and heard.
But in a toxic relationship, your needs, thoughts, and emotions are constantly ignored and ignored.
You may be the target of verbal abuse such as name-calling, belittling, and various insults.
Worst of all, your partner doesn’t treat you as an equal.
To be honest, I’m not sure this is something you can fix. I mean, how can you make someone respect you? It’s a basic thing, any decent partner should respect you, it’s not something you have to do.
7) Gas lighting
This fancy term was taken from the title of the 1940s movie Gaslight. It has become very popular in recent years.
Basically, if your partner puts a spotlight on you, it means they’re messing with your head to make you question your own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
For example, imagine your partner doing or saying hurtful things. You decide to confront them about their behavior, and they respond by telling you that you’re overreacting, imagining things, or just didn’t understand they were joking.
They will keep doing it over and over until you start to doubt yourself.
8) Inequality
Does your partner think they are superior to you in some way?
Does it seem that your opinion and your input is not valued?
Do they continue to make decisions for you and expect you to stand by quietly?
If you answered yes, then this is another sure sign that your relationship has become toxic.
9) Lack of communication
Good communication is one of the foundations of a healthy relationship.
Good communication is about being open and honest, but it’s also about being able to articulate your needs clearly and express your thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment.
So if you and your partner fail to communicate effectively — or to communicate at all — your relationship is in trouble.
Without good communication, you end up second-guessing the other person’s thoughts and intentions. You are also likely to become resentful and frustrated and get into fights.
The bottom line is that you really need to work on your communications if you are committed to making this relationship work.
10) Passive aggressive behavior
This is often the result of miscommunication.
If your partner feels angry or resentful and doesn’t know how to talk to you about it, they will resort to passive aggressive behavior.
Here are some examples:
Sneaky remarks and disingenuous comments
The silent treatment
Indirect communication, such as leaving you notes instead of speaking to you
Forget about sharing important information
It’s all about punishing the other person while maintaining an appearance of politeness.
11) Emotional manipulation
This is also related to poor communication, but it is also related to control.
Emotional manipulation is when your partner uses guilt, shame, or other tactics to get you to do what they want.
As the warning signs go, this is a big red alert!
12) Not caring
Now, a lack of interest doesn’t always mean that your relationship has become toxic.
It is possible that your partner is going through something that has nothing to do with you.
It is also possible that they feel disconnected or that you have become separated from each other. In this case, there are plenty of things you can do to get your relationship back on track.
But sometimes, a lack of interest means that your partner has lost interest in you and the relationship.
They don’t care how your day goes or how work goes. They are not interested in your hobbies or being a part of your world. It’s as if they don’t even care about your well-being.
Basically, they are no longer sure why they are with you.
You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and cares deeply about you.
13) Transfer of blame
Another warning sign that your relationship is becoming toxic is if your partner starts blaming you for everything that goes wrong.
This can get totally annoying when it’s not your fault.
It’s also indicative of the fact that they don’t want to take responsibility for their actions and probably don’t want to work on fixing your relationship either. This is why it is easier to blame yourself.
