When a narcissist sees you crying, don’t expect any kind of sympathy from him. Instead, you will experience anger, invalidation, blame, projection, punishment, and gaslighting.
A narcissist does not have the capacity for true empathy, kindness, and compassion, and so seeing you cry is a huge imposition on them. Especially if the source of your tears is another person or circumstance from which the narcissist does not benefit.
Not only do you siphon precious supplies from them, but you want them to actually give you five minutes? This will not happen. Your only goal is to serve the narcissist, so don’t even bother asking them for a hot minute in their time of need.
On the flip side, narcissists really enjoy being the source of your tears. It’s all about power and control for them and having your yell affirm how incredibly powerful and important they are.
Through childhood trauma, the narcissist amputated his true self long ago.
You see, while they still had contact with their true selves, they were forced to feel all the things they despised within themselves. Rejection, abandonment, and sheer unworthiness are at the forefront of those wounds.
Their psyche simply cannot accept that they are flawed human beings, just like the rest of us. Therefore, they have unconsciously abandoned their authentic self in their refusal to acknowledge their pain and trauma.
All that remains is their ego, which has created a false ego in order to protect themselves from the truth that they completely deny. In their sinful world, they are special and more superior than anyone else, which is a complete reflection of who they really are, deep down.
The biggest problem with the false self is that it is an illusory reality. It doesn’t really exist. Therefore, in order for this false reality to appear continuously to the narcissist, they need constant validation from the outside world that their reality is real, “real.”
The way the narcissistic ego is able to keep the false illusion inflated is through attention. Any attention (good or bad) is welcome to the narcissist, as it all serves to assure them that they really are there.
It feeds their egos in a way that says, “I have to be incredibly important and powerful to elicit these reactions and attention from those around me.”
What is really interesting is the life force energy.
When a narcissist cut off the connection to their true self, they also cut off their access to divine life force energy, which the rest of us can tap into at any time.
In place of the former true self, there is now a black, empty void. The only way the narcissist can get any relief from this pit of despair is to keep trying to fill it with life force energy.
But since they didn’t have any life energy of their own, they were now left having to extract it from others.
Of course no one in their right mind would hand over their precious life force energy to a dark soul that could never satiate its own black hole. Therefore, the narcissist must manipulate the attention and energy they need from others in order to get their hands on the drug they desperately need.
For empathetic souls, it’s hard to get around the fact that they can loot and take so much, without an iota of remorse.
It is important to realize that without access to their true selves, they are now a being without conscience. They have no sympathy or sympathy and will never be able to experience love. So, without these things, they can do whatever they like without having to carry the weight of guilt or remorse.
The narcissist only cares about himself and getting what he wants. In the false reality of narcissists, they are the center of the universe and everything should revolve around them.
There are two places your tears can come from, and both will elicit very different reactions from the narcissist.
Tears caused by other people or situations
Interestingly, narcissists dislike tears from other external sources. If you’re crying because your pet just died or you’re having trouble with a co-worker – the narcissist doesn’t care.
If you’re crying happy tears because your friend just had a baby or your favorite band is coming to town – that’s not acceptable. If someone else is the cause of your joy or happiness, that does not serve the narcissist in any way shape or form, so you need to stop those tears.
In the case where you are crying because of pain or illness, the narcissist will absolutely hate you for it. With this illness or injury comes the expectation that they will take care of you in some way.
The narcissist is not interested in helping you in your time of need, because it places a huge burden on him, which he will refuse.
Not only is your illness taking away a precious supply from the narcissist, you are actually asking or expecting them to give it to you. The narcissist has no interest in giving you anything, unless it serves their agenda in some way or they will inadvertently get something out of it for themselves.
The tears are caused by the narcissist
If you’re crying in reaction to something the narcissist said or did, that’s a different story.
Let’s use happy tears as a first example. If the narcissist is the cause of your crying in an exhausted, euphoric way, it will only feed them and amplify their false image.
Your heavy display of blissful emotion as a result of the narcissist’s words or actions, shows them that you are under their control because they are capable of causing such reactions within you. The affirmation and energy you give them in that moment, makes them feel powerful.
Narcissists love it when they are the cause of your tears. It makes them feel incredibly powerful, important, and in control of you.
When a narcissist becomes the source of your tears in a negative way, the amount of life energy they extract from you is twice the tears of joy.
In the world of narcissists, if they are able to cause such pain, anger, sadness, and frustration in someone who loves them so much, it raises the level of power they feel.
It is very easy for someone we care deeply about to make us happy, but we would never expect that person to cause us so much pain. For narcissists, the fact that they have the power to bring you to your knees gives them great levels of supply due to their control over your emotions.
