Why don’t you just leave if it’s that bad? Easier said than done, right?
Have you ever found yourself in a relationship where there were a lot of highs but at the same time a lot of lows? Were they constantly pulling and pushing at the same time? And it felt like a vicious circle?
That’s what a bond shock is. Attachment to a destructive, manipulative, and/or abusive person.
Only those who truly love someone, but sometimes feel compelled to hate them know how strong this bond can be.
But why, why can’t you run away from someone who is clearly causing you pain?
- You become physiologically addicted to the abuse
The reason people become addicted to abuse is the body’s natural response to trauma. When we go through a traumatic event, our bodies release hormones like adrenaline and cortisol.
These hormones can act as a numbing agent and can get us addicted to the endorphins that are released during the traumatic experience.
The trauma bond can be so strong that it is difficult to break, even when the victim knows the relationship is unhealthy or harmful. This is because the body has become so used to experiencing abuse that it craves it, even if it is harmful.
Trauma bonds are usually obsessive, uncontrollable and have an “us against the world” mentality.
This makes it sound like an addiction because there is a co-dependence and fear of abandonment.
All of these fates, along with the dysfunction in which we grew up, make us feel safe.
- Trauma withdrawal is painful
Second guess. The first symptom and the most common reason why trauma victims always come back. You start to wonder if you’re the toxic one, or if you’re the one at fault.
Long story short: You’re lighting yourself up with gas.
This withdrawal is always followed by a craving for guilt. You revisit their social media and if you notice some of their hints, you will text them first. Then the whole cycle repeats itself.
- Reflection and falsification of the future
Mirrors and future fakes are dangerous games for abusers to play. They pretend to be the perfect fit for the victim, and absorb a wealth of information to create a false identity.
These empty promises offer false hope for the future and trap the victim in a stressful relationship with trauma.
You get a false sense of the twin flame connection from the reflection. A twin flame is a spiritual connection between two people who have a strong bond and connection outside of the physical world. It is often seen as a soulmate connection but on a much deeper level.
But the sad truth is that this is all fake. They’re just copying your behavior so you’ll think you have something real going on.
- Despair and fear of abandonment
Have you ever felt stuck in an unhealthy but very strong emotional attachment? Are you so afraid of being abandoned that you feel helpless and can’t break free? Well, that’s what trauma bonding is and it’s not easy to get out of it.
It feels like you’re stuck together and it’s often based on fear of abandonment and helplessness.
Being left out in the cold can be a scary thought, but it can also lead to a strong bond between two people. When faced with fear, the individual is more likely to cling to the person who provides comfort and support, creating a sense of safety and security.
This can be an invaluable asset in dealing with a traumatic event – creating a strong bond that can help the individual cope.
- Feeling safe
The sense of security that a trauma bond provides is one of the main reasons why these bonds are so strong and so hard to break. When people experience a traumatic event, they often feel insecure in the world and may develop trust issues.
Having someone who understands their experience and has been through the same situation can provide a sense of security and comfort.
When you share a deep bond with someone special, it can be hard to break up. But when you feel safe, you can open up and share your deepest thoughts and emotions.
This connection can be incredibly strong and can create a strong and memorable connection between two people which is why the trauma bond is so strong.
to remember
Trauma bonds are an incredibly powerful force that can often shape our lives.
While the bonds of trauma can be difficult to navigate and break free from, understanding the forces behind trauma bonding and its impact on our lives can be the beginning of healing.
