Some narcissists are stupid.

They like to use intimidation to get what they want. They threaten, slander, slander, and perform devious acts that make Bernie Madoff look like a rookie. For this reason, many targets of emotional predators (such as narcissists) spend years of valuable time in toxic relationships when they don’t have to.

When dealing with narcissists, what often keeps one trapped is their perceived helplessness. Our subconscious mind cannot tell the difference between real or imagined threats, so knowing what one is facing is essential, especially since some narcissists are downright stupid.

Most narcissists’ threats are just hot talk disguised as real. Below, I dissect the anatomy of common false threats and stinging remarks made by narcissistic Ninnies:

1) When you mention the possibility of ending it, the narcissist tries to intimidate you by saying that you will be left homeless and penniless. Moreover, they will take the children and you will never see them again.

Fact: They don’t seem to take into account their DUI and the fact that they drive with a restricted licence. And their spotty career record wouldn’t look good either. Oh, and let’s not forget the restraining order that was placed against them by an ex-press.

Don’t let this person’s empty words scare you. They have a snowball chance in hell of winning any court battles. Besides, the burden of proof is to show that you are an unfit parent. Judges are not liable to tear children away from their parents or caretakers unless there is evidence to suggest it is necessary. If your registry is clean, you probably have nothing to worry about. However, if the narcissist has falsely accused you, read this article on proving your innocence.

2) They keep insisting that you’re the only person they’ve ever had problems with and, moreover, the only person they can’t seem to understand.

Strange, isn’t it, given that in the beginning you were the only one who understood them? Such a predictable shift, it’s almost laughable.

But, to address their charges, let’s note the last four exes, shall we?

Example 1 – see #1 above – they are the person who has had to file a restraining order against the narcissist and is agoraphobic about being relentlessly stalked. They can no longer leave their homes without treating themselves severely.

Example 2 – He joins Alcoholics Anonymous, but keeps falling off the wagon (which coincides with the narcissist’s attempts to contact them).

Example 3 – On antipsychotic medication (which only occurred after their relationship with the narcissist)

Example 4 – He attacked you in the parking lot at Whole Foods

Notice the pattern? They all have one common denominator…the narcissist.

3) They tell you over and over again, “No one will ever care about you like I do”, “You should be grateful for what I do for you”, “I made huge sacrifices to be with you”

The truth: If a narcissist actually manages to land gainful employment, they will always be one coffee break away from being fired. The last layoff of the company where they got the pink slip? They were actually given up because they wouldn’t stop using their cell phones while they were around the clock. Their huge sacrifices? A former supply was letting the narcissist live as a kept lover. This person worked two jobs, paid all the bills, and allowed the narcissist to stay in the house, but kicked the narcissist out when they came home early one day and caught them in bed with their neighbor.

4) They tell you, “You’ll always be a loser” when you do something they don’t like or make a common little mistake.

Truth: By telling you that you are a “loser,” they are signaling that they are winners. Again, it is important not to focus so much on what they say, but on concrete facts. Let’s examine the following example:

you: educated; several promotions at work or have started your own business; symbols of stability such as a car, house, and a slew of networks (at least before meeting the narcissist); Strong friendships can easily get positive recommendations from employers and acquaintances

The Narcissistic Ninny: Leaves work every year or two (if they last a long time without getting fired); a series of “psychotic” exes; constantly plotting a way to get a handicap; who always lives with family members or “friends” they have managed to deceive; Can’t get a positive recommendation (unless it’s fake)

Don’t fall victim to the narcissist’s verbal deception. If they cheat on you, again and again, you’re not the one to break up the family…they are. You are neither insecure nor jealous if you find out they are addicted to pornography and sexting the new employee at their work. You are not “bipolar” due to emotional highs and lows…you have experienced emotional trauma.

There is only one way to stop this monkey business, and that is by not calling and making your exit strategy.

**If you are in a domestic violence situation, please use a safety plan in conjunction with your exit strategy.