LMR Q&A Tuesday: Why won’t the Narcissist make up his mind?

My boyfriend and I divorced 2 years ago. I live in the house we shared with our kids, he moved out after the divorce and is living with his new woman. However, he still came whenever he wanted (he still had the house key), ate dinner with us occasionally, and we still did “housework” together from time to time.

He still treats me the same way he did when we were together. Saying it’s coming and then not showing up. Giving me the silent treatment when I told him his actions are pretty despicable in the grand scheme of things.

I’ve asked him why he still comes to see me when he has a new partner, but his usual response is that he loves both of us and can’t make up his mind. He’s been seeing this woman since before the divorce and as far as I know, she doesn’t realize what’s going on when he comes over. I think she might think he’s visiting the kids.

I let him come because the kids enjoy his company and also because I still have feelings for him.

Why can’t my narcissistic ex-husband make up his mind?