Oil and water. Toothpaste and orange juice. Easter and Narcissists. Some things just don’t go together.

If you are of the Christian or Jewish faith or simply enjoy the tradition of Passover or Passover, it is a day of celebration, remembrance, and gratitude. Many people will go to church and spend the day with their families, perhaps enjoying Easter with their loved ones.

However, for those still caught up in the twisted games of a sentimental predator, Easter (or any holiday) will be a time of sadness, grief, and misery.

Even if the holiday passes with seemingly minor conflict, it looms around the corner like a dark cloud warning of a hurricane that will sweep in, wreaking carnage in its wake.

Easter and Narcissists

Do not be surprised. Know that the holiday may present you with the following possibilities and manifestations of the narcissistic Easter ball.

1 – If you don’t implement No Contact properly, the narcissist will use Easter as an opportunity for Hoover

He or she will take advantage of your festive mood by “checking in,” wishing you a Merry Christmas, saying they miss you (or maybe the kids), and maybe even trying to go up to you with a gift of some kind.

They will look as innocent as a lamb, with the most beautiful smile you have ever seen. Immediately, you will forget all the abuse and believe that there is a chance for a better future with them. Everything you’ve learned about narcissism up to this point will be forgotten like those French lessons you took in college.

While it can be easy to get caught up in the moment, remember that you’re implementing No Contact for a reason. Remember last Easter? How did they successfully destroy each one? The only time they are on good behavior during a holiday or any special occasion is when they are baiting you. They know you feel sympathetic and forgiving, especially if you’ve planned church.

God or any greater power you may believe in does not want us to be mistreated. If you are struggling with what God wants from you amid an abusive relationship, you may find that what you believe about forgiveness can be very misleading. As a point of reference, Leslie Wernick explains how best to deal with an abusive spouse:

“When a wife or husband refuses to submit to a spouse’s abusive behavior, stands up for their abused children, refuses to sign a dishonest income tax return, or calls 911 when the husband threatens to hurt himself, they’re doing a good job even if it isn’t.” well for their husband.

These steps protect the children, as well as work in the interests of the husband. (It is never in anyone’s interest to enable abuse to flourish.) “

I’m not trying to push a religious agenda here, but if you follow the Christian faith, the quote referenced above may provide some comfort.

2 – If you’re still in a relationship, be prepared

Even if you’re considering the possibility that things might end well after all, the holidays aren’t over yet. There will be work that will surprise you. It might happen as you’re leaving church, after Easter, or even sometime this evening. The only exception is if you have expressed your desire to leave the relationship. Then they may be on their best behavior, but it won’t last.

Not only does a narcissist want to surprise you in order to keep you under their control, they especially hate religious holidays because they think they should be the respected person. They don’t want people to be happy if they are not the reason for it.

Outward appearances aside, a narcissist is never happy. They want to bring people down to their emotional level, which includes self-loathing, anger, and general dissatisfaction with life. If you want to feel any kind of happiness, you have to be in their hands, so they often bring you to a low point on a holiday, and then try to bring you back up again (eg, throwing out the shit and the after).

Only then are you allowed to be happy because they are the cause of it. However, as is often the case, they will simply leave you feeling hopeless for the rest of the day.

Be your best friend and give yourself the gift of freedom

Whether you’re struggling to maintain no contact today – or are still within the relationship – do yourself a favor. Think of one thing you can do to improve your life. Here are some suggestions:

Implement or maintain emotional protection

If you haven’t blocked it yet, go to your cell phone and do so. Not only will you feel a sense of empowerment, but you’ll also be able to enjoy the Easter weekend without fear of ruining it.

Don’t worry about the narcissist’s reaction. This is your time to celebrate. Whether with family or alone, honor the Easter tradition and hope for renewal.

Yes, your life could be different. All it takes is a one-second decision and the act of blocking them. It’s very simple, but sometimes the hardest thing. Don’t be fooled by memories of false happiness with the narcissist. Your mind is playing tricks on you because you are addicted and you suffer from cognitive dissonance.

Every time you have a false memory of being happy with the narcissist, retrain your mind by remembering why this relationship was unhealthy for you.

If they come knocking on your door, they attempt to disrespect boundaries, even though they want it to appear as if they “just want to see you.” Don’t be fooled. Simply ignore them. If you have kids, take them to a room where you can’t hear a knock and play a silly game, sing a song, etc. to get your mind off the door. (Although you will need to follow the requirements of any custody order that may be in place.)

If the narcissist does not go away, you will want to let him know that if he does not leave, you will have to contact the authorities. It may sound harsh, but isn’t it hard for them not to respect your desire to walk away from them and pretend they didn’t hurt you?

If you are still in a relationship…

Whether you are married with children or married without, engaged, or otherwise in a relationship with an abusive narcissist, consider one thing you can do to start your path to freedom. Simply be ready for their game and plant a seed. Do you have money for a new apartment deposit? Can you visit your local domestic violence center and ask for an attorney in court? How about contacting a lawyer for a free consultation? Just sow the seeds…and outrun the narcissistic springtime wrecking ball.