How can you tell if a narcissist is being honest?
Narcissists will say anything to get you to do what they want and have an arsenal of words to use in doing so. Their victims need to know how these manipulations work to defraud them.
Here, you can learn more about the manipulative things narcissists say so you can spot them before it’s too late. Also learn the mind games they play, some tricks to use to avoid arguments, and ways to recover from narcissistic abuse.
9 Things narcissists say and why
The narcissist’s scams will make you question whether or not you are sane. It’s hard to know if your reactions are right or not when so many things about this person feel messy. Narcissists feed off of you feeling this way.
Their words feel like weapons, and if you’re not ready to deal with their manipulative behavior or harsh words, you’re the one who suffers. Here are the top things narcissists say when they’re trying to deceive someone and the reasons why these statements are so harmful.
- You are very sensitive
Narcissists love to tell people that they are very sensitive. They do this because it allows them to ignore accountability for their actions. It also makes the other person doubt. This type of abuse is a form of gaslighting. You are not hypersensitive. You just want to be treated with the love and respect you deserve. There is nothing wrong with this!
the reason:
By telling someone they are overreacting or taking things the wrong way, narcissists can blame others. This way, no matter how bad anything gets, they will never have to take responsibility for anything. You mustn’t be affected by these comments.
- Stop being melodramatic
Narcissists love to tell people that they are melodramatic – but don’t be overly dramatic because you have feelings about the horrible way the person treats you!
the reason:
Narcissists do this because it allows them to control your reactions. By telling someone that they are overreacting or taking things the wrong way, the narcissist does not have to be responsible for their bad behavior.
- Don’t be crazy
Narcissists also love to tell people that they are crazy. This is just another way of telling you that your feelings don’t matter. They are trying to invalidate how you feel about the current situation. The truth is, you are not crazy. their behavior!
the reason:
This comment may be ignored when you confront a narcissist about something they did or said. If you have doubts about their behavior or if you talk about anything negative in general, they will tell you that you are crazy. With this insult, it’s like saying, “I’m not responsible for this, so I can stop listening.”
- I’m sorry you feel this way
Narcissists often apologize if they know people are starting to see through their actions. The person receiving the apology may be surprised because it is usually apparent that the narcissist does not feel any kind of remorse for what was done. They are just trying to get out of trouble.
the reason:
Narcissists use apologies as an easy way out when they start to get trapped in their lies.
- It doesn’t have to be like this
A narcissist often says this when trying to convince someone to stay in an inferior position. This is done so that the person saying it does not have to take responsibility for their actions and instead shifts the blame onto the other party. Narcissists are manipulative enough to know what to say at any given moment to get what they want.
the reason:
By shifting blame and telling you that things could be different if only you would act differently, narcissists are, once again, avoiding accountability. They want you to believe that their behavior is your responsibility, so they can’t be the ones to blame for the things that cause the stress.
- Why are you so crazy?
Narcissists often say this when they do something to annoy someone. By doing this, the narcissist is signaling that they are not at fault for what is happening, or at least, that what they did is not so bad. Instead, the other person must assume the same. It also means that you will have a hard time standing up for yourself if you find yourself in a situation like this.
the reason:
The reason the narcissist will say this is because your voice will not feel powerful because you are simply there. This narcissistic trick can make people stay calm even though there is a lot of sadness boiling inside of them that needs to be let out.
- You don’t understand
When narcissistic people feel threatened by someone who sees through their behavior, they will then try to elicit emotional uplift from the other person. They do this by saying that you do not understand them. They will tell you that you don’t know what’s going on in their life and therefore you can’t tell them what’s right for them.
the reason:
Narcissistic people need to be believed 100% of the time because anything less than complete trust can feel like a rejection. So, if you “don’t understand,” they didn’t lie. You just don’t understand.
- You are unreasonable
Narcissists know that they decide what is “reasonable,” and the other person will agree to that. Narcissistic abusers use this phrase in an attempt to discredit someone’s feelings. It also serves as a tactic to change the subject and avoid accountability for their actions.
the reason:
Narcissists often use this phrase to belittle someone’s argument or point of view. It is a manipulative tactic that works well for people who tend to be more agreeable and less likely to react or take action against another person. This behavior is often a result of the other person not wanting to be upset with them.
- You’re lucky I had this
Often times, the narcissist will say this when they start to feel like the person on the other side of the relationship is starting to withdraw. They say it’s like you need to feel blessed that they chose to stay with you and that without them, things would be worse for you.
the reason:
Deception comes from making another person accountable for their insecurities about themselves by presenting these supposed insecurities as reasons to stay in the relationship. Narcissists often say things like this to make their partner feel as if something is wrong.
Recovering from the pain of the things the narcissist says
I hope this article helped you understand that narcissistic abusive words have nothing to do with you. You are the narcissist’s target, but not the cause of the abuse. Narcissists have spent years perfecting the skills needed to manipulate people the way they do. The truth is, anyone close to the narcissist will be the target of their abuse, no matter who they are.
Narcissists will never accept responsibility for the things they do or say because that is who they have been their entire lives. Even if you knew, at first, that the things they said were lies, you have heard them over and over for so long that you may have come to accept their lies as truth.
