Are you constantly blamed for someone else’s failures and mistakes? You may be caught up in the blame game of toxic people.
You thought I was cursed. I used to think that I could do nothing right, and I would always be prone to making one mistake after another. This is what a toxic person has led me to believe, as everything bad that has ever happened seems to fall on my shoulders. I was the victim of the blame game, an elaborate and manipulative hoax that went on for years.
I no longer blame myself for every “bad” thing that happens, in fact, I resist anyone who tries to blame me for their mistakes. On top of that, I reach out to others and let them know what kind of people are prone to doing these things.
Who is playing the blame game?
There are certain types of individuals who live by this rule. They are used to always getting what they want, getting attention, and most of all, blaming anyone but themselves for the mishaps in their lives. Pay attention to the small details when someone is trying to blame you. They could be playing the blame game, and unfortunately, it can be a deep part of their personality. Here are some types of people who are experts at this manipulative tactic.
The eternal victim
If you’ve ever met the eternal “victim”, you know how hard it is to reach them. While they seem harmless at first, their words and actions can be toxic. The victim does not let go of past hurts or abuses, and always blames others for their inability to move forward in life.
The “victim” will blame even their most obvious shortcomings on anyone they can reach or talk to. If they have a tantrum, it is because of the abuse they suffered in childhood. If they steal, it is because of their past misfortune that led them to a life of crime, and so on. They will relay sad stories and if you have failed with them, they will remind you, for many years to come, of your failure. The blame game comes naturally to their mindset.
Narcissist
This personality is one of the most toxic manipulators. A narcissist thrives on attention, and when they fail to attract that attention, they generally move on. They also thrive on the blame game. A narcissist is never at fault and anything that happens to them is never their fault. The reason for this is that this type of person wants you to believe that they are superior, even though they know deep down that they are not.
They feel an incomparable depth of inferiority. Frankly, they are crippled by low self-esteem and will do anything to prove otherwise. This includes not taking responsibility for their actions. They are dangerous and unhealthy people to be around.
Pathological liars
Well, there is not much detail when it comes to this individual. A pathological liar will lie about anything, even if they don’t really feel it necessary to do so. Even the little things will be reason enough to be insincere. So, using the blame game on others feels just right for them.
Since they lie all the time, blaming others for their failures would be as simple as doing whatever it takes to make the blame stick. They will resort to stealing if they have to, in order to match their lies with facts. It’s amazing how creative a pathological liar can get when blaming someone who isn’t responsible in the least.
Those who suffer from low self-esteem
This is a little more difficult to understand. People with low self-esteem may seem like the last people you’d think to blame. However, sometimes self-esteem drops so low that, in defense, these individuals may desperately try the blame game in order to improve their self-image.
I must admit, I have been guilty of this one myself. As my self-esteem plummeted, I found myself looking for reasons why others would bring me down. I felt that doing so would make me feel better about myself. Unfortunately, this didn’t work out and eventually led to worse feelings after the blame game was over.
Arrogant
Then you have the arrogant or selfish person who will always play the blame game. This is usually a daily activity for this character, as they walk around with an inflated ego and place the responsibility for their actions on others. In doing so, the arrogant person is able to maintain his exalted position, as a human being above himself.
It is also easy to recognize an arrogant person. They tend to brag about their ability to blame others and make no move to improve themselves or try to be a better person. I think arrogant people are some of the hardest to get around when it comes to getting them to face responsibilities.
control freaks
Well, yes, you said it. You may have no ill intentions and you may absolutely hate those words you just used, but control freaks will never be responsible for anything. Why? Because admitting failure means losing control of the situation and yourself. People who always want to retain control will be prone to playing the blame game, too.
How can we stop playing this game?
Unfortunately, some people may never stop playing the blame game, and it breaks my heart. I remember trying to convince certain individuals in my life that they should take responsibility for the mistakes they made, and that only made them angry and fueled resentment.
However, if you are willing to look at yourself with new eyes, there is hope. There may also be other people you know who struggle with the “blame game” mentality, and there are ways to help.
I admit it!
One of the first and most important steps in ending the blame game is to admit that you may be wrong! Yes, this is correct! This mistake made may actually be your fault! Acknowledging your responsibility opens the way for change. This is where we start, now is the time to abandon manipulative tactics.
Attentes – Vues
L’un des aspects les plus satisfaisants de la vie est de pouvoir voir les choses de différents points de vue. Si vous avez du mal à comprendre pourquoi quelqu’un vous a dit que vous avez fait une erreur, vous ne pouvez probablement pas voir les choses d’un point de vue différent du vôtre. Il est temps de voir les choses à travers les yeux des autres pour changer.
perdre le contrôle
Arrêtez d’essayer de tout contrôler autour de vous. Vous ne pourrez jamais tout réparer, le trouver, le sauvegarder ou tout savoir, alors surmontez-le. Lorsque vous apprenez à relâcher un peu le contrôle, vous serez en mesure de prendre le blâme lorsque quelque chose est de votre faute.
Prendre la responsabilité
Fondamentalement, il est temps d’assumer la responsabilité de vos actes. Vous êtes un adulte et tout à fait capable de faire et d’admettre des erreurs. Au lieu de dépenser beaucoup d’énergie à chercher un moyen de nier vos problèmes, utilisez cette même énergie pour améliorer vos imperfections.
