We’ve all encountered overly clingy and needy people in our lives.

Some may be in a relationship with a highly dependent partner, and others may have a friend who requests one favor after another. While it’s human to feel an emotional connection to those around you as well as to ask for their help from time to time, these characters take it to another level.

Needy people often reach the point of becoming toxic manipulators. Most of the time, they don’t realize what they’re doing though. Clingy individuals tend to feel insecure and lack mental toughness, so they can’t help themselves. They need other people to make them happy and complete.

However, dealing with a needy person can be challenging for your mental health. Therefore, it is important to recognize the signs that your needy friend or family member is taking advantage of you and becoming a harmful influence.

9 Manipulative signs are needy

1. They have a victim mentality
2. They feel guilty for you
3. They take advantage of you
4. They are always in trouble
5. They are in constant need of approval and reassurance
6. They compete in misery
7. They exaggerate their problems and underestimate the problems of others
8. They can’t handle their issues on their own
9. They think you owe them
   Are needy people evil?
   9 signs of a needy manipulator
10. They have a victim mentality
    Being a needy person and having a victim mentality are often synonymous. These people cannot take responsibility for their actions and failures. They always blame someone else for everything.

If they make a mistake on a report, it’s because a noisy co-worker distracted them from work. If they don’t keep an intimate secret, it’s because they encountered a devious manipulator who tricked them into sharing it.

In the end, it is never the fault of the needy. And they don’t just stop here – they also make you feel sorry for them.

2. They feel guilty for you
   If we take the example with the secret, your needy friend will probably say how devastated this manipulator is. And that you should never have trusted them in the first place. Now their whole lives are completely ruined because of the secret you shared with them! It may sound crazy, but in the end, you will feel sorry for your friend and guilty for calling him out for revealing your secret!

Being needy doesn’t mean being manipulative, but sometimes, this trait comes with a natural talent for inducing unwarranted feelings of guilt in others. You see, making people feel guilty is a great way to take advantage of them.

When your boyfriend is convinced that everything you’re going through is his fault, he’s more likely to give you what you want or turn a blind eye to something you’ve done wrong.

3. They take advantage of you
   Those in need are usually recipients and rarely givers. If you are there for them when they need you, that doesn’t mean they will do the same for you.

All relationships must have reciprocity in them. And I’m not just talking about helping each other. Emotional investment is an essential component of any relationship, be it romantic, family, or friendly. When you are the only person in a relationship who is caring, truly caring, and willing to help, that means the other person is taking advantage of you.

Has a needy family member called you just to see how you are doing? Does your friend really pay attention when you tell them your problems? Have they ever invited you to their place for dinner or do they just enjoy your hospitality? Are they there for you when you are in trouble?

If a needy person appears in your life only when they need something from you, I’m sorry to tell you this, but you are being taken advantage of.

4. They are always in trouble
   At first, the needy may seem unlucky. Whatever project they undertake, it is doomed to failure. It may seem that they are cursed and the whole world is conspiring against them! They get fired, their businesses fall apart one by one, and they get involved with the wrong people all the time.

When a needy person talks about their failures, of course they blame someone else or things like bad luck or the wrong circumstances. We already talked about victim mentality above, remember?

As a result of this endless series of disasters, they end up asking for your help. And yes, they have no one else to turn to. Only you and your help can save them.

5. They are in constant need of approval and reassurance
   A needy personality often stems from insecurity and low self-esteem. This is why they need constant reassurance from others. They may become manipulative in trying to get your approval.

They like to do what is called hunting for compliments. It is when a person intentionally says self-deprecating things to hear that they are wrong about themselves. This is what those in need often seek – your reassurance. They literally feed on it because deep down they feel bad about themselves.

6. They compete in misery
   This toxic behavior is the result of a victim mentality. Needy people seem to compete with others in misery, so whatever problem you’re facing, rest assured that they always have a worse problem.

Say you are telling your friend about a problem in your marriage. He seems to be listening to you, but as soon as you stop talking, he tells you about his former grief, which was much more tragic than your problem with your wife.

As a result, you receive no sympathy or advice from your boyfriend and end up listening to his heartbreaking story and comforting him instead.

7. They exaggerate their own problems and underestimate the problems of others
   Likewise, a needy person may become passive-aggressive and dismiss remarks that belittle the difficulties of others. All this serves one purpose – to win all the attention and sympathy for themselves.

They may sneer and say unkind things like “I wish I had his problems” when someone else is struggling. It all comes down to the often lack of empathy and emotional intelligence of those in need. They truly believe that they are the only one struggling and that other people’s problems are just a joke.

8. They can’t handle their issues on their own

Self-sufficiency is not characteristic of the needy. Sometimes, they may seem unable to solve a problem on their own. For example, if they are facing financial difficulties, they will not think about getting a better job or earning some extra income but will immediately go for the solution of borrowing money from a friend or family member.

Because of this, you will often find people in need asking for all kinds of favors, from asking for your help with the most trivial issue to helping them make a life-altering decision. Yes, it’s okay to expect support from the people around you. After all, that’s what true friends do, right? But it’s not a good idea to not even try to figure out a solution yourself and run to your friend for help.

9. They think you owe them
   People in need often believe that the world and those around them owe them something. This makes them convinced that they have the right to ask their family members or friends for help.

Let’s take an example of needy behavior in a family relationship. Aaron’s parents got divorced when he was 12 years old. While he remained in contact with his father, he did not receive any significant financial assistance from him. However, he has grown up into a self-sufficient adult and is now successfully running his own company while his father moves from project to project and is on the brink of financial disaster.

At one point, Arun’s father asks him for a loan so that he can pay off his debts and start a new business. Aaron refuses, angering his father. He blames his son for not being grateful and not appreciating what he has done for him all these years. For example, Aaron forgot how his dad drove him to school or how he took him on a few road trips when he was a kid.

As you can see in this example, Aaron’s father is convinced that his son owes him, so he didn’t expect that he would refuse to help him.

Are needy people evil?

Ultimately, needy people don’t mean to become toxic and act manipulative. These people often have issues with emotional attachment and self-esteem, so their clingy nature is due to their mental make-up.