No one wants to be seen as selfish – but can selfish behavior sometimes be a good thing?
What is selfish behavior?
Being selfish is always seen as criticism. This means putting yourself first, not prioritizing others, and generally being callous and uncaring.
Teachings of Selfish People:
Manipulate situations in your favor
Always consider what is in it for you
Never be ready to do a favor unless you get something in return
Lack of concern for others, or inability to empathize
Being arrogant and valuing your opinion and your advantages over all others
Unwillingness to participate
You find it hard to accept any kind of criticism
Always believe your needs are most important
None of this sounds like good stuff; But what is the difference between taking care of yourself and being selfish? Surely, it is better to be a confident individual than to be quick and say yes to everything that is asked of you.
Different stages of selfishness
Selfish behavior is not linear – there are certainly some completely selfish people who have no interest in anyone other than themselves and who are generally unlikable to be around.
But everyone is a little selfish from time to time, right?
Selfish good
Taking care of yourself isn’t always selfish. In fact, they can be beneficial to others, in which case they can be recognized as “good” selfishness. For example, attending to your needs such as making sure you take and take your medications makes you better able to help your family, take care of your children, and in general, be a positive and active member of society.
If you were asked to take care of someone else’s needs in addition to your own basic requirements, it would be foolish not to practice a little “good egoism” – which I think is the same thing as self-care. None of us would expect this to be a negative personality trait, after all!
Neutral selfishness
I think “neutral” selfishness is just common sense. If you make choices that mutually benefit you and someone else, it’s not selfish at all. It is choosing the outcome that is most beneficial to all involved.
For example, if a friend asks for a suggestion for a local service to use, and you belong to a loyalty scheme you might recommend, referring your friend works well both ways. They receive your connection and have a chance to use a service their friend had a great experience with, and you get loyalty points or rewards. Win-win!
It seems that we are sometimes so eager to be seen as selfless that we make choices that are not the best outcome for anyone.
Bad selfishness
Unlike the other two categories, bad egoism is the only true selfish behavior. This is when you put yourself first at the expense of others. For example, choosing to eat your last dessert when you’ve already eaten enough, knowing that others will go hungry because of your greed. You benefit, even if you don’t need to, and others lose out as a direct result of your actions.
When can selfish behavior be good for you? 3 examples
Sometimes, you need to be selfish; After all, if you don’t care about the first place, who else is going?
Set your growth priorities
Believing in yourself, making time for your personal goals, and being firm in your beliefs can always be seen as selfish. These are powerful ways to support your development and progress toward your life aspirations. For example, declining to commit to regular engagement to focus that time on developing your career, taking a course, or learning a new skill is good for you.
communication
Creating a strong flow of communication in a relationship means being open and honest with your feelings and needs. Being aware of what you need to be happy and having the confidence to communicate those needs is one way being selfish can have positive results all around.
If you can tell your partner where you are disappointed, and what needs to be changed in your relationship to make you happy, then this bodes well for the future for both of you.
Positive mental health
Many mental health problems are caused by factors that egoists rarely experience – even if only slightly. Selfish people recognize their worth, prioritize their own needs, and rarely allow themselves to be overly influenced by the behavior of others. Standing up for yourself and recognizing your worth and the contribution you make are healthy traits to encourage.
3 examples of toxic selfish behavior
Undoubtedly, there are plenty of examples of negative selfish behavior. It can harm relationships, jobs, and social ties.
Lack of Empathy – Not being able to show concern and concern for your close relationships when they need you is incredibly detrimental to your future relationships.
Manipulation – It is very likely that circumstances deviating in your favor, and to the detriment of others, will make you a person others consider untrustworthy and a person they will avoid in the future.
Self Focus – Not realizing when others need you, or when their needs are greater than yours can lead to a diminished horizon and not realizing an impending disaster until it is too late to fix it.
