People with anxiety suffer from a state of disorder that exposes them to high sensitivity.
So it makes sense that there are some things you should never say.

Anxiety is not uncommon, honey. Did you know that according to the National Institutes of Health, anxiety affects nearly 40 million Americans ages 18 and older? That’s right, that’s a lot of people! These people, myself included, are misunderstood, for the most part, and suffer random panic attacks that eat away at my irrationality and sanity. It’s a mess, for lack of a better word.

Anxiety takes away self-control and replaces it with panic.
Anxiety is cruel, and unfortunately, other people trying to understand are unintentionally cruel, too. They do not know what to say, what to do, or how to respond to those who suffer from this disease.

Here are some of the things that may be the worst way to respond to anxiety.

“Calm down”

While this may seem harmless, it can be harmful. Let me explain. Even though I worry, I’ve been guilty of telling others to calm down. But this statement is difficult. She says that anxiety is nothing more than a choice, and it should be easy for someone who suffers from it to stop feeling or responding negatively.

However, it is not so simple. Anxiety sufferers can’t always calm down when they need to. It’s both troubling and insulting to assume that they could. Just as victims of chronic pain cannot stop hurting by suggestion, so those who suffer from anxiety cannot “calm down.”

“I know how you feel”

Unless you have anxiety, you cannot know how sufferers feel with anxiety. Give me a break! Do you suffer from panic attacks, sweating, gasping for breath, and loss of control?

Telling someone that you know how they feel, just because you get nervous sometimes, isn’t the same as truly understanding the depths of anxiety. This only alienates the victim and makes them feel ridiculous. When they feel this way, their self-esteem takes a hit, adding to the anxiety already raging inside them.

“It’s all in your head”

Well, let’s tear this apart, shall we? While anxiety is a disorder within the brain — the brain is wired differently — it is not a figment of our imagination. When we experience panic attacks, it is as real as a heart attack or allergy. We cannot and do not wish to make these things up. Anxiety is a real disease.

“Why are you worried?”

This question may seem innocent to someone who doesn’t suffer from anxiety, but it can be distressing to someone who does. Just because you don’t see a reason why someone should be upset and panic, doesn’t mean they’re petty. You can live in poverty or be in the wealthiest household, but you can still suffer from anxiety. Anxiety sufferers do not have to have a cause for their illness to be affected by the illness.

“What did you do?”

Anxiety sufferers may lash out, which is unfortunate, but that doesn’t mean you are the cause of the problem. It’s not always about you, and you probably didn’t do anything wrong. Asking someone about their anxiety if you are the cause of the problem may make them feel guilty or worse, panic attacks. Try not to ask this question, just be there to listen if they need to talk.

“You are irrational”

The weird thing is, we know we’re irrational, we just can’t stop it. Feeling anxious is like being trapped in your own body, at the mercy of its malfunctioning. It is no different from other defeat illnesses.

Those weird ideas we have, yes, we know how crazy they are, but for a few moments they make perfect sense and something needs to be done about the crisis. Anxiety sufferers experience a daunting ordeal. Our reality is very different from others, most of the time, so it’s best to be kind, without criticism.

“Are you crazy?”

This is probably the worst thing to say to an anxiety sufferer and the harshest form of criticism. While you may not understand how we think or act, you should never call us crazy. We probably think you’re crazy because you don’t worry a little more about your life.

Well, it is possible. Although most of the time these harsh statements come from toxic relationships, even friends can mistake this when they are angry and full of our illness. Just be careful and think before you speak out of feelings.

You just love the attention”

I’m sorry but anxiety sufferers don’t act the way they do because they are drama queens, quite the opposite. We wish we could hide away when we feel a panic attack coming on. At the same time, we need your help.

When we lose it at the grocery store because the line is too long or when we yell at you for doing the same thing over and over, it’s not because we want to make that huge statement. We simply cannot handle the excessive stimulation that reality has given us. It’s too much, and we don’t need an audience to highlight it. We don’t care much attention.

! #stop being negative”

I think it is easy for others to say this, but it is very painful to hear. Those who suffer from anxiety do not see their actions as negative. We see our statements and reactions as a defense mechanism and a protective tool — yes, what we worry about is the way we keep our sanity. However, our panic attacks are just a system plus during stressful situations or similarly during normal days.

Panic attacks don’t always come when we’re stressed but they can pop up randomly even when nothing seems wrong. When you say “Stop being negative,” it doesn’t always make sense to us. Instead, try to show us positive things, and offer calm words to counteract our panic.

As I said before, anxiety is cruel, it has no favorites, no scheduled events, and no mercy. I struggle with anxiety, and I know how utterly hopeless it can be sometimes. When the people you love the most can’t or won’t understand, it can feel awful. If you have a concern, my heart goes out to you.

But remember, we’re spreading the word and letting those you love the most know, so hold on. For those who love someone with anxiety, I suggest you learn so you can help them on their healing journey.

Your love and understanding mean more than you could ever know. Be your own best friend and watch your words, learn what builds up and what tears apart the unique minds of the mentally ill.