Here’s an amazing fact: Narcissists are everywhere. In fact, each of us has certain traits that place us on the narcissistic spectrum.

Narcissism is not a rare human trait. The truth is, each of us has narcissistic traits, some more than others. Here’s another way to look at it, a more realistic representation: We’re all narcissists.

In a broad sense, narcissism refers to feelings and attitudes towards oneself, normal development, and self-regulation. It is the core of normal healthy self-esteem, influences, and relationships. In psychoanalytic terms, normal narcissism is defined as a positive investment in a normally functioning self-structure.”

• Elsa Ronningstam

What? I bet that quote made you do a double take, right? I think this is the first time I’ve read that narcissism can be healthy.

The truth is, I think we’ve all misused this word as a catch-all term rather than focusing on a personality disorder instead. I think I have to redefine the use of the word “narcissism” itself.

Let’s take an additional look to understand our mistakes.

Spectrum Narcissist

The reason we are all narcissists is because each of us falls on the spectrum of narcissism. I was only aware of this magnitude until just a few months ago. The narcissistic spectrum, on a scale from 0 to 10, governs whether we have a low sense of self-importance or if we have narcissistic personality disorder.

Here are some lesser known spots on the narcissistic spectrum.

1. Zero placement
   At zero on the narcissism spectrum, the individual acts in an unhealthy way toward themselves. While they are selfless and often subject to servitude, they also deny their basic needs. Obviously, this is very unhealthy.

Although those who fall at the zero point of the spectrum are basically humble and good people, they struggle with their inability to love themselves.

2. Single placement
   These individuals can tolerate a slightly greater amount of caring for themselves than those in the zero range. Perhaps on special occasions, they will be willing to have some social interaction but can still get overwhelmed easily.

Although they are still somewhat modest, they are capable of some self-importance.

3. Positions 2 and 3
   These individuals dream of owning things and being more social. They may move out of their comfort zones more often than people who fall below the previous place on the spectrum. They still hold themselves back and only think of getting attention on a few occasions.
4. Placement between 4-6
   This is considered a healthy range for narcissism. In this range, it’s nice to feel special and get attention when it’s appropriate, but it’s also good to be humble when it’s the right moment.

You must be able to tell the difference between the two needs and the two attitudes. For example, if you get a promotion, you can claim some attention for that, but on the other hand, when your friend gets a promotion, he should get the attention, not you by association. 😉

5- Placement 7 and 8
These people find fault with themselves and will try to make improvements. However, they still make a stand and show off the things they have. You’ll see more back-and-forth with these people, and sometimes they don’t seem to fully accept who they are.

At the same time, when they are looking for the spotlight, they will enjoy the attention.

6. Placement of nine
   At this level, the individual seeks a great deal of attention. However, at some point, they will begin to become aware of their unrealistic needs, and begin to see what is wrong with these feelings.

They may be trying really hard to hide their guilt in wanting so much attention, but they definitely feel a little more insane.

7. Ten placement
   In contrast lie the proud, arrogant, and completely self-seeking individuals. This is the personality type that is described as a narcissistic disorder. These individuals will lie, steal, deceive, and destroy just to get attention and stay in the spotlight. In short, they will do whatever it takes to get noticed.

Three types of unhealthy narcissists

Working with this spectrum, we can see three different types of narcissistic personality. These personalities are different, but they all share one common trait: the feeling that they are better or unique to everyone else.

An extroverted narcissist

This is the obnoxious, loud narcissist who openly craves attention all the time. They are very social as they have to be in order to stay in the spotlight. They constantly post photos, boast about purchases, and brag about their achievements.

The introverted narcissist

They avoid people because they are afraid of judgment. One reason for this is that they want others to think they have no sense of self when, in fact, they think they are special. The introverted narcissist separates himself from others because he always feels quietly superior.

The societal narcissist

These are the people who want to give and never take for help. It’s not that they don’t want any attention, they just want attention in the fact that they are a giver and don’t seem to need any help. It’s as if they wouldn’t be known as “saviors” of others.

Narcissistic people

Now that you understand how narcissism works, you can understand yourself, too, and where you fall on the narcissistic spectrum. I’ve found my current place on the scale, but I think I’ll keep that to myself, as I think I have some improvements to make.

Again, thanks for reading, and I apologize for any terms I may have misdefined etc. I’m learning right with you and as long as we keep learning we can always help each other to be better and do better.