A narcissist is someone who has a high sense of self. Narcissists also tend to be unhappy and there are some good reasons for that.
They believe that they were put on this earth to be admired, revered, and adored and that the world revolves around them. With so much self-respect you would imagine that they would live their lives in a happily ever after, but this is not the case.
When a narcissist’s needs are met, when they are made to feel unique, special, and extraordinary, they are blissfully happy. The problem is that when their ego is not constantly petted, they become resentful, angry, and unhappy with so much in life.
These examples show what might make a narcissist unhappy:
They are no longer flattered
They are criticized
They are ignored by those of higher status
They are treated like everyone else
They are not the center of attention
Their advice is not listened to
Other people shed light
They are questioned about the veracity of their stories
They are laughed at in the company
The things that make narcissists deeply unhappy is that all of their happiness comes from outside forces: they depend on flattery, their looks, their accomplishments, their possessions, etc. So if any of these factors prove to be anything less than special or amazing, their whole world will come crashing down around them.
Here are the reasons why narcissists are fundamentally unhappy:
They build their happiness on external factors
This is the main problem with narcissists, everything they associate with happiness is linked to external influences or factors. It could be material things like having the best car in the neighborhood, getting the best promotion out of all their mates, or just having the most attractive wife.
They want to be admired for these external reasons, but the problem with that is that their self-esteem is tied to external influences and does not come from their self-confidence. If any of these things are lost or disappeared, the narcissist must quickly start from scratch to build his respect again.
When they are alone
Narcissists need a constant stream of attention and suffer when they are alone as their sources of compliments dry up. The narcissist uses other people as a mirror to reflect their uniqueness and if they are alone they cannot do that.
When they receive a crush from another person, they feel instantly satisfied and happy, but being alone causes them to go deep into their psyche where they may come face to face with the person behind the mask.
They desire perfection and do not live up to it
In the narcissist’s world, everything would be perfect, but in reality, that can never happen. Narcissist spends their entire life striving for perfection in themselves and the things they surround themselves with. But even for outsiders who will judge them and their lifestyle as pretty amazing, for narcissists, this is never enough. This is one of the primary reasons why narcissists are fundamentally unhappy.
They are never happy with what they have
Narcissists need to be the best, have the best, and be seen as the best. To this end, they are destined to fall. A narcissist may be a stunningly beautiful young woman, but that won’t stop her from striving for her best looks. Because narcissists believe they are special people, they believe that everything should be laid out for them, and even if they do, they are still unhappy.
So what makes a narcissist happy?
The typical narcissist wants to be the center of attention and to be admired by everyone around him. They desire flattery and adoration from their peer group, in particular, those of a high-status group, and they want to be at the top of that hierarchy.
They enjoy the “top dog” status because it boosts their ego and helps boost their self-esteem. Being on top, whether it be prettier, successful, famous, powerful, financial, or smart fuels their concept of an excessive sense of self.
