Nothing seems to work when dealing with toxic people, except perhaps for a new idea called the Gray Rock method.
I’ve lived with my share of narcissistic and toxic individuals before, and these were some of the hardest people to put up with. Some of these relationships were so bad that they caused massive damage to my mental state. By the way this can really happen.
I endured losing weight, being physically and verbally abused, and even becoming convinced I was the problem. Trust me, a true narcissist likes to tell you that you are a narcissist yourself. It is one of the indicators of the people you are really dealing with.
Introducing the Gray Rock method
A certain blogger named Skylar came up with a way to deal with narcissists and other toxic people. This method can also work for psychopaths, sociopaths, and others with similar manipulation strategies.
The Gray Rock method is only for those who can’t get away from the toxic person. If you can leave, yes, leave, but if you can’t or don’t want to, you see, you’ll need a way to survive and possibly thrive while enduring the abuse.
How it works?
Imagine a gray rock, not brown, but gray. You see, any other rock, such as brown or red or a mixture or swirl of colors will have a certain creative personality. Now, I’m not saying gray is ugly or anything, it just isn’t the most vibrant hue.
Therefore, look at this rock in your mind and imagine the rock among many other things of other colors, shapes and sizes. Now, imagine yourself as a gray rock among the colored rocks. Who do you think will get attention? Well, it could be anyone, but you’d probably be the last person to be approached.
Narcissists and toxic individuals don’t like gray worlds, but we have to create ones they understand.
Why does a narcissist hate the gray rock?
Narcissists love attention. In fact, they thrive on being the spotlight almost all the time. If they aren’t getting attention, you better believe they are on their way or are planning to get attention in some way.
If you live with a narcissist, you understand how draining you can be for them. You know all about their lies, blame shifting, gassing, and manipulation of other kinds. Let’s face it, you know what you’re going to deal with sooner or later.
So, what can a gray rock do for a narcissist? As a gray rock you won’t cut it, you have to become the gray rock. and why is that? It’s that your attention and responses fuel the narcissist. If you become a gray rock, you change the whole dynamic. You are practically starving toxic people.
How do you use the Gray Rock method in practice to banish toxic people?
Well, that’s what you do. Do you know how narcissists try to start fights? Well, the next time that happens and they start asking silly questions and hurling insults, just say, “Okay.” You know insults aren’t right but who cares! Let them keep talking to themselves, basically.
Also, instead of being around them, spend more time alone doing mundane things, things you wouldn’t draw attention to. Narcissists hate being bored or around boring things, and that’s what I was…a boring person doing boring things.
However, let me add something to that. You don’t always have to do boring things and say okay to everyone. This particular treatment is only for the toxic people in your life. For others, who treat you right, you should carry on with your life as normal. But as soon as the toxic person comes along, act like you don’t care at all what they have to say.
Here is your warning that comes with using this strategy
I want to prepare you for the results of the gray rock method. When you start ignoring them or giving them short answers, they will then start to like you less and less. They may throw tantrums and throw things like babies. Stick to the position. Most of the time, especially in intimate relationships, the narcissist will eventually leave.
But that’s not always before they cheat or still go most of the time propping up their ego elsewhere, and they will. It’s impossible for a toxic person to stay with someone who doesn’t care about feeding their emptiness.
After some time, they leave forever. They may cheat on divorce or break up several times before they actually leave. They have been known to beg you to take them back later with the promise of better behaviour.
Can the Gray Rock Method Change a Narcissist?
It is rare, but sometimes this method can help people see what they are or what they will become. In some cases, I suppose, they can become completely different people who care about other people’s feelings.
They may be able to kill some hunger for attention if they learn to see the truth. Therein lies the problem. It is very difficult for a narcissist to see themselves as others do. They see their behavior as completely normal. So, let’s do our best and prepare for the alternative, I always say.
If you are dealing with a toxic person, try the Gray Rock Method and see how it works for you. Start slowly to prevent possible violence or anger over your reactions.
