Knowing that it is better for our mental health to stay away from negative people is easier said than done! You may have to deal with a negative person at work or within your family. Here we look at the reasons why it’s important to protect your boundaries and some helpful techniques for keeping negativity at bay.
How do we define a negative person?
None of us is out of sunshine and rainbows all the time! However, chronically negative people are an entirely different group of fish. We are talking here about those friends who cannot muster a smile on the happiest of occasions and meet every opportunity with some doom and gloom.
Why is it dangerous to spend a lot of time with negative people?
Dorian Crawford, PsyD, explains that staying away from negative people is important to your health. You explain that these types of interactions
They take their toll by inducing stress, perpetuating anxiety, and producing the stress hormone. These are just the kinds of behaviors that raise blood pressure, cause the overproduction of cortisol, and make muscles contract.
It seems obvious, but then again, it’s not always easy to cut someone out of your life. Oftentimes, negative people don’t realize that they are bringing such a dark cloud into their friendships. They may consider themselves pragmatic and reasonable!
Can you consider yourself a passive friend? It’s worth spending a little self-reflection keeping that in mind. Ask yourself: Are you bringing your best self into each of your relationships, or are you letting your stress and tension affect others?
Why do you need to stay away from negative people?
They have a problem for every solution
Don’t waste your time on people who have a problem with every solution.
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Spending time with naysayers can drain the joy out of your life. If every success is met with negativity, over time it can eat away at your optimism and happiness.
Friends of negative people may decide not to share news of them or their accomplishments at all, for fear of being ignored or criticized, which is worse. This long-term negativity can destroy relationships, affect your communication skills, and take away the fun of friendships when the good times can’t be shared.
Negative is striking
This is not necessarily true for everyone. But if you spend most of your time dealing with negativity, there is a real risk that it will seep into your personality.
We are affected by what we see and absorb more. So when you spend a lot of time around people who are energetic, positive, and proactive, it can lift your emotions. Likewise, spending too much time in the opposite direction can cause you to act like seeing the dark side is the norm.
Too much is not enough
A positive person’s automatic reaction to negativity is to try to confront it. However, you cannot impress a negative person. You could be constantly trying to explain the positives in the situation and help allay their doubts and it would never work. This can drain your energy and leave you feeling exhausted.
You will start to doubt yourself
We all need a little encouragement from time to time. Whether it’s moving forward and applying for your dream job, or having the courage to ask someone out on a date, having the support and affirmation of your friends helps boost your confidence when you need it most.
Spending time around a negative person will do the opposite. They will always see the worst-case scenario and discourage you from making any progress. Over time, this can lead to self-doubt and begin to irreparably damage your self-confidence.
You won’t get any fun
It goes without saying, but the more time you spend with melancholy people, the less time you will spend having fun. Life is short and it is meant to be enjoyed. So crossing out a large portion of your life that you would spend in miserable company is not a good use of your time.
How do you get away from negative people?
Life is too short to spend time with people who suck your happiness away.
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Knowing that there is someone in your life that you want to spend as little time as possible with is one thing. Learning techniques and strategies for distancing yourself from negative people is another issue.
- Make sure it’s not a one-off
Try to keep your balance and make sure you don’t dismiss a potentially beautiful friendship because someone you know is going through a bad time. It is common to get into a rut after disappointments. So be careful about making unexpected reactions to cutting someone out of your life if they aren’t showing their usual cheerful personality. - Try talking about it
Some people have no idea how they look and may not realize that their attitude makes them miserable to be around. If you value your relationship or once did, it’s helpful to take some time to explain how you feel, and maybe why you don’t want to spend as much time with them as you used to. This could be the wake-up call they need to start projecting more positivity! - Stand your ground
Deciding to stay away from negative people can easily cause you to get sucked into a negative spiral and feel somewhat at fault.
If you decide that you don’t want to spend more time with someone and that their anger is bothering you, make that decision and stick with it. Protecting your mental health is more important than feeling the need to keep putting up with it.
- Set and protect your boundaries
If you have no choice but to occasionally deal with a negative person—for example, if they’re a co-worker or part of your extended family—you can still protect yourself from negative influences.
Decide what conversations you will not tolerate. Don’t be afraid to step away when needed. It’s nice to have to deal with a co-worker if you’re collaborating on a project, but you’re under no obligation to listen to their comments about your personal life.
- Don’t apologize
The first rule of mental health:
learn to distinguish who is worth explaining; Who deserves only one answer and absolutely nothing.
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Whatever the reason behind the negativity, it is not your responsibility to fix it or tolerate it. You have to make your own decisions in life, and while it may feel sad to have to walk away from a relationship, you don’t have to justify it.
If you feel an explanation is due, you can explain that you need to surround yourself with more optimistic people to protect your mental health and leave it at that. A good friend who didn’t mean to be harmful will try to change their ways. On the contrary, a truly negative person will continue to be the same. Either way, being true to your needs is the only way forward.
