We hear the phrase “social distancing” over and over again these days. But sometimes, the reasons for staying away from people have nothing to do with the threat of a virus like COVID-19. Loved ones are important, but they can also be a problem. Sometimes distancing yourself from these people is necessary because of the way they act or the things they have done to you.
Sometimes I feel like I’m the only one who has to deal with toxic friends and family. I realize I’m curled up in a ball, I’m crying, I feel like I’m the only person on Earth living in Hell. But, deep down, I know that’s not true. Everyone comes to this place at some point in their life.
And to add to the daily frustration of the toxicity of humanity’s mental state, we now have to grapple with illness and political drama. Do you feel like distancing yourself because of toxic situations or other such situations? I know I do.
Times when distancing yourself from someone is mandatory
We can try to get along with the people we love. We can even learn to ignore their bad behavior. But there is a point where the denial breaks down.
Our goals and dreams start to unravel because we can’t stand bad behavior. There are times when the only thing you should do is stay away from the people who are ruining your life. I’m going to share some situations or times when it’s a good idea to distance yourself.
- Taking constant insults
Criticism can be unbearable no matter who is tossing it in your direction. If someone is constantly insulting you, something needs to be done. Let’s say you have a good feeling about yourself, not an inflated ego, just good self-esteem, and all of a sudden, a family member insults you.
These insults I speak of have absolutely no basis, they come out of the blue and are usually so hurtful that they take you by surprise. If you suffer constant random, harsh insults, and every time you call her out for this behavior, it just won’t stop, then it’s time to go.
Why is it time to go? Because to stay healthy, you have to isolate some people.
- When it is not reliable
Unreliable people in your life can be a stumbling block. You must be confident that your loved ones will be there for you when you need them. If you can’t trust this, then you are not as close to them as you once thought.
Sometimes you have to put a little distance between yourself and those who are unreliable. You need someone to always have your back in life. It’s where your true support comes from.
- In cases of sexual coercion
Anyone who loves you would never try and force you to have intimate relationships with them. When a friend, family member, or yes, even your boyfriend tries to force you to be intimate, that is sexual harassment leading to assault.
You must distance yourself from the person who is doing this to you. It may start as something small, like flirting when you tell them to stop, but it will get worse if you let it continue. Once you see signs of this problem, walk away from it.
- When there is control behavior
When your loved ones give you advice on what to wear, that’s okay. But when they are constantly trying to control what you wear, where you go, who you talk to, and how you act, it’s just not normal.
You find dominant people in families, and in relationships, and you can even have dominant friends. As with other toxic behaviors, it starts small, but by the time you realize what’s going on you can’t take it anymore, it becomes impossible to take. This is one of those times when distance is needed.
- To turn off the projection
If you are not familiar with projection, it is very easy to understand. Someone you love, a friend, for example, will accuse you of doing something they did. They may accuse you of having personal problems that are their problem.
Projection is a way some people avoid responsibility for their shortcomings. It’s like fast-tracking their popularity while getting pushed through the mud. It would be in your best interest to put some distance between you and this person.
- When faced with contradictions
True friends and those who truly love you will be pretty consistent most of the time. You usually know what to expect from them and feel safe. Then some seem fine but suddenly act inconsistently.
When that happens, it will shock you. Then things may return to normal again shortly thereafter. If this happens, and there is no valid reason for the strange behavior, you may want to keep your distance and see what happens next.
- When they put a spotlight on you
I talk about gaslighting a lot. It’s because I’ve put up with it so many times in my life and had no idea what I was going through. Now that I know what it is, I want to help as many people as possible.
Listen, if you notice a family member, boyfriend, or girlfriend trying to make you look crazy when you catch them lying or cheating, consider the word gas. This is what happens.
They shine a spotlight on you so they appear sane, thus completely erasing your accusations, which is true. Stay away from these people, at least until they get help.
When that happens, it will shock you. Then things may return to normal again shortly thereafter. If this happens, and there is no valid reason for the strange behavior, you may want to keep your distance and see what happens next.
- When they put a spotlight on you
I talk about gaslighting a lot. It’s because I’ve put up with it so many times in my life and had no idea what I was going through. Now that I know what it is, I want to help as many people as possible.
Listen, if you notice a family member, boyfriend, or girlfriend trying to make you look crazy when you catch them lying or cheating, consider the word gas. This is what happens.
They shine a spotlight on you so they appear sane, thus completely erasing your accusations, which is true. Stay away from these people, at least until they get help.
