Do you sometimes feel crazy? Does your partner belittle you and then praise you immediately afterwards? Have you repeatedly caught someone in a lie, but they constantly deny it? These are all signs of gaslighting.

But can you accidentally ignite gas? Is there such a thing as unconscious gaslighting where the gaslighter doesn’t realize they’re doing it? This is a difficult question to answer, but first, let’s shed light on gas and what it is.

Can gaslighting be unconscious?

Gaslighting is a deliberate behavior that manipulators such as psychopaths, sociopaths, and narcissists use to exert control. It distorts your view of reality and makes you question your actions, your memory, and in extreme cases, your sanity.

“Gaslight often provokes distressing feelings, low self-esteem, and an imbalance in cognitive control by causing the individual [i.e., the gaslight] to question their abilities to think, perceive, and experience reality.” T, Dorpat, 1994

Gas lighting includes:

Underestimate your feelings
Forgetfulness or forgetfulness
changing the subject
Drop the problem on you
Question your memory
He refused to listen to you
He gives you the silent treatment
There are not many studies on gaslighting, in particular, unconscious gaslighting. Much research tends to be anecdotal. However, despite a limited set of studies, commonalities do occur.

I will use “gaslighter” and “gaslighter” to distinguish between perpetrator and victim.

8 Subconscious gaslighting traits

The following features are evident in unconscious gaslighting:

There is an imbalance of power within the relationship
The gas worker is the dominant person in the relationship
Gas launchers are attractive and charming
Gas players have power in the relationship
Gaslighted is usually weak
Gaslighted seeks approval from Gaslighter
The gas lamp has low self-esteem
Gaslightees tend to avoid conflict
So we now know what gaslighting is, who is most likely to gaslight, and who will be a victim. But does this help us understand if you can accidentally ignite gas?

How can gaslighting be unintentional?

Previous studies focused on domestic violence cases involving both psychological and physical abuse. The results showed that gaslighting is a masculine behavior that targets women in relationships.

However, subsequent research shows that gaslighting is not specific to interpersonal relationships.

More recently, the term gaslighting has been used as a definition for political abuse of power, stirring up racial tensions, covering up lies from big corporations, and inserting false information into the media.

Now, this is interesting because experts have always assumed that gaslighting is an intentional measure to exert control within a relationship. But if it is common among different scenarios, unconscious gaslighting may be possible.

Let’s go back to what gaslighting is:

Gaslighting is a manipulation of the truth. The information shown or expected may include half-truths, denials, misinformation, outright falsehoods, exaggerations, concealments, and contempt.

In the past, the term gaslighting referred to manipulators who wanted to control their victims.

Robin Stern, the author of The Gaslight Effect, spoke to NBC News:

“The goal of gaslighting is terrified of changing [the relationship] or getting out of the gaslighting dynamic because the threat of losing that relationship—or the threat of being seen as less than you want to be seen as—is a huge threat.” R Stern, Ph.D., associate director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence

But now that psychologists have described gaslighting as a psychological tactic outside of interpersonal relationships, there is a possibility that gaslighting was unintentional. In other words, the Gaslighter is not acting with malice or offensive intent.

The gaslighter may not be aware of the gaslighting. They may simply be trying to manipulate the truth or cover up a lie. In other words, gaslighting does not have to be intentional for a person to be gaslighted.

Examples of unconscious gaslighting
Gaslighting occurs when we try to bend or distort a person’s sense of reality. But you could equally describe it as trying to get someone to accept your point of view.

Here are some situations where you could unconsciously light someone up or be accidentally gassed.

school
A school can be a place for unintentional gaslighting. We all desperately want to fit into the group. This can intentionally block some people’s opinions for fear of being ridiculed. Or it can lead to others disparaging a person’s feelings.

In both examples, the goal isn’t necessarily to put the spotlight on someone.

Ethnicity/Culture
There are racial stereotypes that portray black women as strong and independent. As a result, some black women may feel like they can’t ask for help when they need it.

“Mental health isn’t something that’s talked about openly and honestly in the black community, and it’s something that’s changing, but there’s this image of a strong black woman who can’t be broken and doesn’t need help.” — Sophie Williams, author of Millennial Black