If I asked you what attracts you to a person, you might say kindness, confidence, or a sense of humor. But do you know what attracts people to you?
Do you attract people who allow you to develop healthy relationships? Do you always end up dating a narcissist? If you’ve ever asked, “Why do I attract narcissists?” Read on. Check if you know any of the reasons below.
What attracts narcissists?
It helps to understand what attracts a narcissist. Narcissists seek out people to manipulate or surround themselves with people they want to imitate.
Potential victims:
exhibition
low self-esteem
High empathy
forgiving
The ones who are in charge
People’s happiness
Naivete
People who make them look good:
Attractive appearance
My people
An impressive job/car/home/friends
Those who aspire to be
Why do I attract narcissists? 11 reasons
- You are weak
It doesn’t matter where your vulnerabilities come from; Narcissists will figure it out. They are like sharks swimming in the ocean, waiting for the smallest drop of blood. They will surround you and wait to strike.
Narcissists have a sixth sense for vulnerable people. It doesn’t matter if you’re in an abusive relationship or a quiet one who won’t speak out. The narcissist’s violent sensibilities characterize you with bone-chilling precision.
- You have low self-esteem
People with low self-esteem attract manipulative partners. If you lack confidence in yourself or what you deserve, you are vulnerable to abuse.
Those with a healthy balance of self-esteem and strong beliefs are more likely to question unreasonable behavior. They are more likely to see bomb tactics and feel guilty and recall them.
- You are empathetic
Empathic people are sensitive to narcissists. Narcissists portray themselves as victims. They want the world to know how hard their lives are. As a confident person who can empathize, a narcissist will pull you in with one sob story after another.
You will not be taken advantage of. You’ve probably never seen a pathological liar like a narcissist before. You may not even realize that you are being manipulated. Your instincts are to help, heal, and nourish.
- I grew up with narcissistic parents
Growing up in a narcissistic environment makes you used to this kind of manipulation. As you have experienced it before, you are more likely to understand and forgive the narcissist.
Maybe it’s normal for you to get back into this kind of relationship again. It may seem a little relaxing; We are attracted to the things we know. Either way, you may not be attracted to a narcissist at first simply because you have narcissistic parents. However, continue to forgive your narcissistic partner and they will stay with you.
- You are in charge of your relationships
I think this also comes from a place of low self-esteem. Caregivers prioritize their partner’s feelings and needs. This is the narcissist’s nectar. They want their needs to be front and center, even at the expense of their partner. Because once they suck you dry, they will move on to their next victim.
You are fulfilling a need within yourself by caring for your partner. Perhaps caring for your partner will help you feel important. Your self-esteem rises. However, you attract narcissists with your sense of responsibility. They will milk you until you have nothing left to give.
- You are a people pleaser
Why do I attract narcissists? We hear a lot about how polarized the world is today and how showing kindness rather than aggression is the way forward. But you can’t please everyone.
Do you feel better when you are not making waves? Do you avoid confrontation? Are you likely to put your feelings aside to keep the peace?
This is exactly what attracts a narcissist. People who do not value their judgment will put up with unacceptable behavior. Yes, kindness is an admiral’s quality, but not at the expense of your sanity.
Remember, no narcissist pleases. They will move the goalpost over and over again, leaving you exhausted.
- You are naive
If you’ve never encountered a narcissist, you won’t be prepared for the scale of their twisted nature. I don’t know about you, but I suppose people are telling me the truth. I know we all embellish stories and filter our lives on social media to look good, but we’re being honest.
It can be surprising to meet someone who has no morals or boundaries. People who will manipulate the situation in their favor. We don’t know how to deal with such people.
- You are used to abusive relationships
Then again, you are probably all familiar with abusive partners. Perhaps a past relationship left you vulnerable and with little self-worth. We carry a lot of baggage into future relationships, intentionally or unintentionally.
Tell someone often that they are not good enough, or that no one will tolerate it, and eventually they will start to believe it. The narcissist can figure this out and take advantage of you.
- You get validation from others
Narcissists are charming and use love-bombing techniques, which can quickly make you fall for them, especially if you need external validation. Confident people with high regard do not need others to tell them how much they value them; They already know that.
Their belief in themselves comes from within, which means that manipulative tactics designed to make them feel better don’t affect them easily. Those with inner strength are more likely to question the motives of the person who constantly tempts them.
- You are successful/popular/wealthy
If none of the above applies to you and you’re still wondering “Why do I attract narcissists,” then look back at your life. Are you a successful person with a great house, car, and job? Do you have a lot of friends and a great social life? Are you rich?
Narcissists want attention. They want to look good. They crave admiration. If they do not have the goods, they will associate themselves with the people who have them. You have to be careful of hangers-on and sycophants.
- It’s a spiritual lesson
The last reason that answers why narcissists are attracted is not an easy one to address.
Some of us believe that we are on a spiritual journey and we are here to learn life lessons. This means that we meet people who are determined to teach us about ourselves. You may depend on other people’s opinions too much. Is your self-esteem low?
Do you need to change the way you think about yourself? Does carrying baggage from past relationships affect you today? If you continue to attract narcissists, it’s time to look deeper inside yourself. See if there is nothing you can learn from these experiences.