Sharing your fears, vulnerabilities, and vulnerabilities with narcissists helps them create weapons to use against you later. Read on to find out how a narcissist traps you into sharing every tiny detail about you and makes you vulnerable to devaluation.
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Do you remember those early days, when I first started seducing you? Of course, you do. These moments are embedded in your memory and can never be erased, no matter how hard you try.
So sweet were those first months of our adventures when we first started dancing together that you can’t help but remember them and feel that bittersweet tone. The many times you struggled through your devaluation and being ignored, you went back to those magical moments when you sought some kind of solace from them.
Somehow, as you sit with tear-stained cheeks, you will force a smile into your misery as you remember the things I said to you, those sweet, loving, wonderful words that captured your heart and took it to heaven.
It was impossible to resist the bombardment of love I unleashed upon you and equally impossible for you to banish those memories as you sat among the wreckage of our relationship wondering what on earth happened. You can easily be forgiven for seeking refuge from misery among those golden thoughts. Trying to get rid of the sharp pain that is burning you right now.
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Of course, that’s all I planned and it’s a natural consequence of being entangled with me. Have no shame in the fact that you keep running into and holding on to those thoughts as you seek relief from your suffering. Keep doing that. All others have done and all others will.
As you cruise through those wonderful thoughts and memories, reliving our time together as a continuous cycle of “best moments,” do you remember what else you did during that seduction?
Can you remember something else that was going on when we made these sparkling memories? Yes, I know you can remember, how can you forget?
It was one of the many things I did for you that brought you closer to me and made you fall deeply in love with this illusion.
What have you done? She made you feel safe.
A sense of security
I made that sanctuary and I opened the door and let you in. I have shown you how impregnable this bright and beautiful paradise was to the wretched, wretched world beyond. I assured you that being here with me meant you would never have to worry about these things again.
I would keep the early tormentors at your door and make sure these things no longer bother you. This was the only condition for entering this sanctuary that I had built for you. Tell me about these things so I can protect you from them. You’ve never had anyone make such a sacrifice for you before.
The way we understand how these things affect you. We seemed to understand the impact these things had on you when we listened with patience and understanding. You were hesitant at first, just the act of remembering that made you panic.
You had no problem trusting us, no that wasn’t the problem.
We ironed out any concerns you might have about trusting us with these secrets in a matter of moments, that was our sure charm.
No, what bothered you was bringing those dark memories, those fragile points to the surface again.
However, as the words came from your mouth and the tears streamed down your cheeks, you felt the cathartic effect of unloading all this stuff on us.
From simple concerns to deep-seated, life-changing issues, she brought each one to us and it felt so great to do so.
The burden came from you and for the first time, I felt free from these things when you passed the baton to us and we quickly took it from you.
You expelled these ghosts and entered our sanctuary and you are elated and happy that you were able to purge these things from yourself and embrace a new beginning with us. These things have held you back for a long time. For too long, you’ve been walking down a rocky road alone, bending and bending twice under the weight of your insecurities.
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There were others but you didn’t feel able to share the burden as you did with me. I was different. There was just something about me that made you feel like you could tell me anything and everything and I’d handle it.
Extract information
I would like to flex and extend those angelic wings to surround and protect you. You weren’t burdened with that tall stuff, you felt so strong and you had to thank me for the process. Your gratitude and admiration flowed unceasingly and I was so happy to wash myself in this fountain of praise, though in keeping with the character you made me, I accepted your compliments with humble admission. You entered my sanctuary and told me all your weaknesses.
It was achieved in a way that you weren’t ashamed to tell me. This was another difference. You knew I wouldn’t judge you for them. You knew I wouldn’t consider you silly or stupid for having certain concerns.
“It is how you look at them that matters, not how anyone else looks at them.”
You remember that sentence and how it gripped you with so much joy, thankful that someone finally understood and realized how to deal with your concerns. Your trust in me was so absolute that I made it seem as if I actually liked your weaknesses and that gave you great comfort.
All I was doing while you sat there on those many occasions where you shared your fears, vulnerabilities, and vulnerabilities with me (because they didn’t all come out in one sitting, no, it took weeks of careful extraction on many different occasions to put it all together) was hoarding my armory. Your admission that you cannot swim and therefore are afraid of deep water turned into a missile.
Your explanation that you were bullied at school because your hair is short stems from having to cut it because your brother once poured glue on your head has become a grenade. The fact that you experience a noticeable red flush on your chest and neck when you’re feeling upset is creating a shot.
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Your admission that you suffer from high winds shaped another bullet. The abuse you suffered at the hands of a loved one when you were eight years old became a thermonuclear device ready to go off at a later date.
Every weakness, from your inability to resist eating a box of cookies in one sitting to your fear of public speaking, has been taped, recorded, and weaponised.
You thought you were safe in the sanctuary. This was just an illusion.
Use the information against you
I was actually sitting in my armory and was right there with you making these weapons to use against you later. Every weakness you have confessed to me that you thought you would hand over to me to bear on your behalf.
The fact is that you have been giving me the materials with which to make a weapon – whether it be a sharpened stick to make you go, or a nuclear missile to obliterate you. You thought it was a form of forgiveness but all you were doing was arming me..
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I always want to know your weaknesses. Your weaknesses are made felt in my strength in preparation for the war of devaluation that I will wage against you. Keep talking, there is an arsenal to be built.
By bombing love and offering fond memories, the narcissist creates a sense of security in your mind, giving you enough confidence to confess everything to him/her. Once all the accurate information has been extracted, the narcissist uses it at the right time, the right place to devalue you. You are weaponizing them by sharing your vulnerabilities while leaving yourself vulnerable to the narcissist.
