Narcissists have many techniques to control their victims and make them dance to their tune, and one of the most deceptive and manipulative of them is faking their prey into the future.

I’ll tell you later.

How do you feel when you read this sentence above after being drawn by the title of this article? disappointment? irritation? harassment? entertainment? A familiar tightness in the chest? A combination of all of the above?

Fake the future is a common manipulation that all narcissists use.

1. The lesser narcissists
   Oftentimes, the lack of sophistication, the instinctive, the mysterious, can have a dubious provenance.

‘I want to see you again.’
‘I want to marry you.’
“I will buy you this mansion” (even though the narcissist has no money and no job).

2. Narcissists are mediocre
   It is often subtle, more developed, instinctive, more likely to be specific, and more likely to be reasonable.

“I want us to go on vacation this summer together, somewhere like the Maldives.”
“I can see you and I as a couple, I want to marry you in the fall next year at the latest.”
“Start looking for that new car I’m going to buy you, why don’t you take a look at the Mercedes dealership in Pleasantville?”

3. The biggest narcissists
   Rarely (major narcissists are likely to present), greater sophistication, sometimes instinctive but usually calculated, highly reasonable.

“I’ve emailed some houses to you for your consideration. I like the fourth and sixth on the list. They are in the countryside so there would be room for animals to roam too, but not too far to make work a chore. Have a look at them and let me know what you think. We can talk about this at dinner.

Related: 10 Reasons Why Narcissists Target Married People

What is fake in the future?

It’s taking control and getting fuel in NOW using the FUTURE event.

Read this sentence again.

It’s taking control and getting fuel in NOW using the FUTURE event.

Our victims find faking the future disturbing, confusing, and infuriating. Why did he promise to marry me and never did? Why are you telling me we’re going to live together if he’s not going to go through with it? Why would you arrange to have dinner with me and then fail to come, not even text me to say he couldn’t come?

There was no intent to provide the original statement but you were tricked into believing the intent was genuine.

Why were you cheated?

1. Future Fake is an easy-to-use manipulation as it relies on a spoken/written intent with no requirements associated with delivery.
   And so it is very low in energy expenditure and as you know we would like to achieve the maximum result with the least amount of time, energy, money and so on.
2. You as an empathic victim operate on the understanding that if you say you will do something, you will keep that promise (unless there are exceptionally good reasons).
   So you expect others to act the same way. You’re drawn to thinking that because the person you’re involved with looks like you (because you don’t know they’re a narcissist) they’ll act the same way you do, i.e. keep a promise.
3. Your emotional thinking wants you to keep dealing with the narcissist.
   Therefore, it subverts your empathic traits, for example, honesty, affection, and/or decency to believe that the narcissist will fulfill this stated intent because that is what honest and decent people do. We’re neither honest nor respectful – but you either don’t know that or you fail to stick to the logic of knowing when your emotional reasoning is elevated.

The first scenario occurs when you don’t know that you’ve been trapped by a narcissist and are therefore drawn into thinking that this person would act like you. The latter is when you know you’re dealing with a narcissist and know about faking it in the future (or you didn’t know you were dealing with a narcissist but noticed (logically and based on evidence) that that person still promises things and doesn’t deliver) but even though From this logical fix, you fail to pay attention to it because emotional reasoning outweighs it.

For example, “This is the third time he’s promised to take me to this new restaurant, but he’s blown me off the last two times. It was obvious he was sorry he did it, I could tell, so I don’t think he’ll do it a third time.”

Related: 8 Signs You’re Dealing With A Vulnerable Narcissist

4. The depravity of your fanatic trait may involve some grand romantic gestures and again your emotional thinking trumps logic.
   An example would be “I’m taking you to the Maldives next month”.

You know he has no money and no job so how can he afford it hence it is doubtful he can make it happen but you fail to pay attention to this fake in the future through either

a. thinking it a sweet, romantic gesture and completely ignoring his lack of obvious resources to make it happen;

B. If you think it’s a sweet, romantic gesture, you’re not sure how he’ll pay for it, but he must mean it so he must have something up his sleeve to make it happen (savings, he’s borrowed money, he’s got a magic wand); or

c. You know he can’t deliver but you think the intention is sweet anyway and you don’t mind that he can’t deliver. You’ll end up paying instead or don’t go and don’t mind.

Fake the future has nothing to do with the narcissist changing his mind. It has nothing to do with making a mistake, irritating the narcissist, or messing things up so the promised event doesn’t get delivered (although a combination of shifting blame and your emotional thinking clouds your empathic quality with guilt) would make you think that you’ve missed the chance to travel to the land of milk and honey.

When the lesser or average narcissist makes a promise or statement of intent regarding a future event, whether that be “I will mow the grass” to “I will take you on a 90-day world cruise” or “I promise to see you next Friday night” until “I will marry you” Someday.” There is a high risk that this falsification is in the future. Occasionally there will be a hookup (this is more likely to be in the seduction stage) but usually, there isn’t.

The junior or midrange narcissist means that when mentioned (and thus when you suggest they won’t deliver, they’ll be mortally humiliated by that fuel of defiance you’ve issued) and attack to assert control. The original Future Faking Manifesto is made (and the narcissist believes in it) to assert control over you and get fuel. thus –

Narcissist: “I’ll call you tomorrow and we can arrange to go to dinner on Saturday night” (future event, spoken statement (low energy) to control the victim).

Shelf Intimate Partner Victim Secondary Source: “That would be great, I look forward to seeing you again.” (control maintained for the time being, positive fuel gained)

next day

The narcissist calls, talks, and makes arrangements with the victim on a Saturday night. Control is once again maintained at the moment, and the victim’s happy, excited responses provide positive fuel.

Saturday comes. The narcissist has a Hoover Trigger from a different Shelf IPSS and Hoover’s implementation criteria are met so he can trigger this device by going out to dinner with this person. This is because the narcissist had an instinctive need to control that person at that moment and there was no need to control First Shelf IPSS because that person was in control. The narcissist does not bring dinner with First Shelf IPSS not even a letter to cancel because the narcissist does not deem it necessary.

There is no emotional empathy, so the narcissist does not instinctively feel that acting this way is “bad” and should not be done. The narcissist may have no cognitive empathy and no interface management, so there is no need to send a cancellation message. The narcissist does not realize that such a move would be seen as a polite thing to do.

A narcissist with cognitive empathy might send such a message to cancel the dinner if an instinctive need to control deems it an appropriate move, or else because of a sense of entitlement (the narcissist does what he or she wants and with whomever he or she wants) and an innate lack of accountability (I am not accountable to anyone). about what I’m doing) and then the narcissist fails to show up to the dinner date with the first shelf and runs off with the second shelf because at that moment it was the best outcome for the narcissist.

The fact that a victim of the first cliff may get angry with the narcissist is not at the forefront of the mind of the lesser or average narcissist. The consequences of this anger or irritation are ultimately insignificant. What matters is now, not yesterday nor tomorrow, but now. The narcissist will deal with the side result of his failure to appear as he sees fit and when he sees fit (again a sense of entitlement, lack of emotional empathy, and lack of accountability).

This might be issuing an excuse claiming that the first shelf was never confirmed with the narcissist (blame shift and history review), focusing on something else (perversion), or ignoring the first shelf (the silent treatment). These are other manipulations. The anger of the first standing cliff victim emerges as the fuel of the challenge and the narcissist’s response (whether active or not) is manipulation that occurs instinctively to assert control again by suppressing the challenge (and gaining fuel to boot).

The narcissist does not change his mind. Consciously (when lower or mid-range) he meant to deliver but unintentionally his narcissism means he is less likely to do so because it is not about realizing the future event (which is what victims mistakenly focus on) it is all about achieving control now and This is used concerning a future event to achieve this, hence the future falsification.

The greater will issue the promise and fulfill (having more resources and the ability to do so) or issue the promise knowing there will be no delivery (future calculated falsification) because the greater considers this to be the best allocation of resources to achieve control and fuel.