It’s important to be aware of players, so dear pretty girl, if he does these things, he’s playing you and you need to make a quick move!
Love tends to sweep a lot of people off their feet. However, with the rush of passion, physical attraction, and “connection,” red flags can be overlooked. The result is a broken heart, and the misguided notion that they “done a mistake.”
Often, the telltale signs show themselves early in the dating process…if you pay close attention.
Dear pretty girl, here are the signs he played
- If he says: “You are the one I’ve been looking for my whole life.”
The deal: Guys like this claim to have fallen in love — fast. They give you the feeling that they’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting for someone just like you, and they tell you on the second date.
They’ll start strong – calling a lot, texting a lot, and it takes a toll on your self-esteem. Then, once you sleep with them and/or share your mutual feelings, it stops…and they leave you wondering, “What did I do wrong?”
What to do: Make sure you see the signs of this trap. If they’re gushing about you (and your self-esteem) that much too soon, chances are it’s not real. Love, at first sight, is possible…but if the love is true, it will be weeks or months down the line.
- If he says: “I would love to see you tonight.”
When he says: 10:30 p.m…. on a weekday night.
The deal: He tells you he wants to see you, but they’re always busy: work, school, family—these are all good reasons.
But if they only have late nights — or certain days of the week without explanation — something is amiss. And more often than not, they’ll have plenty of time to see you for sex… just no time to spend before or after it.
What to do: A person who is genuinely in love with you will make you a priority…more than just saying the words. And sex is great, but a real relationship takes more than just physical time together.
Related: 7 Warning Signs You Have A Toxic Sibling
- If he says: I miss you.
And if the next day he says: “Why are you so damned?”
The deal: He says he cares and then he gets dark. He wants to see you and then asks you why you are so demanding/clingy to him.
What to do: Hot and cold behavior only works for him. Instead of trying to adjust yourself and your expectations (over and over) for someone who will constantly change the game, make a clear and strong decision that you will not settle for anyone’s half-inherent and second-best approach involved with you — in any capacity.
You are worth more than the way you are treated, and you need to stop accepting and putting up with it. Tell him what you want… If he’s not right, you’re either being played, or he’s just not ready for you. Either way: keep going.
Related: Regain Control: 4 Steps To Take Your Power Back In A Relationship With A Narcissist
The bad and dirty deal to play
The most common reason people play boils down to one thing: need. Men love this watch and wait for the opportunity to fill a specific need that their victim is looking for. And not just any need; A basic need they want: sex, affection, security, attention, freedom, romance, etc.
Once this need is satisfied, the victim begins to ignore the bright red signs of the other player’s behavior. Either due to a lack of knowledge or calculated planning, the player begins to fall behind and/or not have their victim’s other wants/needs met – but the initial basic needs are still being met.
This is a dangerous self-esteem death spiral, as the victim begins to question why one needs are being met, but not the rest. The victim often decides he “shouldn’t deserve it,” but to feel more self-worth continues to put up with bad behavior and worse… until the player leaves.
Related: The Truth About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
The result when you play the fool:
The victim feels worthless. Like failure, and wondering what they did wrong, and what they did to deserve to be treated so badly. Their self-esteem has taken several blows, and they need a boost. And every so often, another player starts to satisfy that basic need…and the cycle repeats.
way through:
What we need is to realize that in any relationship, there is always a trade-off. There will be needs of yours that can be met, and others that your partner cannot meet because they are either unaware, don’t have the skills, or simply don’t want to.
Regardless of needs met or unmet, if a relationship is built on having you at arm’s length emotionally, physically, or spiritually, the trade-off is often too lopsided for any long-term success.
