Do you feel like you are walking on eggshells around your partner? Take back your power in a relationship with a narcissist with these 4 steps!
Are you in a relationship with a narcissist? Learn how to take back your power in a relationship!
In my psychiatric practice, I have seen how difficult it is for my patients to separate from a narcissistic partner.
Narcissists can make you fall so deeply in love with them that you feel like giving up a piece of your heart to leave them. And they use every manipulation in the book to convince you to stay.
On the surface, narcissists can appear charming, intelligent, and caring—and they know how to entice and lure their way back into your life. But once they hold you back, they go back to their selfish selves.
Their motto will always be “Me first!” It’s all about them. They have a high sense of self-importance and entitlement and crave admiration and attention. They can also be very intuitive but use their intuition for self-interest and manipulation.
Narcissists are very dangerous because they lack empathy, and have a limited capacity for unconditional love. Sadly, their hearts either did not develop or were closed off due to early psychological trauma, such as being raised by narcissistic parents, which is an emotionally and spiritually crippling disability.
(The damage of narcissistic parenting is wonderfully detailed in Alice Miller’s drama The Gifted Child.) Although difficult to understand, these people have little insight into their actions, and they don’t regret it.
Related: The Truth About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
To find out if you are in a relationship with a narcissist, ask yourself the following questions from my book, Emotional Freedom.
Narcissists are nuts that are hard to crack. With these patients, the best I can do is tune in to their positive sides and focus on the behaviors they agree aren’t working. However, even if one wanted to change, progress was limited, with little gain.
My professional advice: Don’t fall in love with a narcissist or entertain delusions that they are capable of the give and take necessary for intimacy. In such relationships, you will almost always be emotionally lonely.
If you have a narcissistic, inhibited spouse, beware of trying to win the care you didn’t get from your parents; It won’t happen. Also, don’t expect your sensitivity to be respected. These people adore all the hoops you have to jump through to please them.
If you’re trying to break up with a narcissist, use these techniques from my Emotional Freedom book to take back your power.
4 best ways to get your power back in a relationship
- Don’t fall for their manipulation
They will use every trick in the book to get you back so be prepared. Narcissists are persuasive. When you are ready to leave, stick to your convictions and move on to a more positive future filled with true love.
Related: Surviving Childhood: 19 Signs You Were Raised By A Narcissistic Mother Or Father
- Set boundaries
Since narcissists have no empathy, and they can’t truly love, you have to let them go cold and put up with the pain. Set boundaries and say “no” to them and in your heart. Then gather all your strength and continue to walk into the unknown, towards something better.
- Focus on the future
Once you break up with a narcissist, you must focus all of your positive energy and thoughts on doing good things for yourself and the world. Don’t let your mind wander to the past or to what he’s doing.
Related: The Codependency Dance: How The Narcissist Traps The Codependent In A Toxic Tango
- Don’t pressure yourself into a relationship with a narcissist.
Treasure yourself. Be very kind to yourself and know that you deserve a loving relationship with someone who can reciprocate.
My point in life is that everyone we meet along the way, loving or not, is meant to help us grow. Don’t beat yourself up for being involved with a narcissist. Be kind to yourself!
But please learn what you can gain from it, including setting healthy boundaries and saying “no” to abuse, so you never repeat this lesson. He is very emotionally free to heal any attraction to abusive people so you can have more true love in your life.
Excerpted from The Empath Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff
