Do some members of your family steal all your joy, happiness, and peace of mind every time they are around? No matter how close or important a toxic family member is in your life, sometimes cutting out the toxic family member is all right to recover from the abuse and protect your sanity and self-esteem.

Is your family toxic?

Family always comes first. Our parents, siblings, partners, or even friends occupy a very special place in most of our lives. They support us through the dark tide of life and give meaning to our lives. Unfortunately, for some of us, this definition of family may not be applicable because our family lives are filled with drama, hate, arguments, abuse, manipulation, and even domestic violence.

The presence of toxic family members can be emotionally draining and leave you feeling angry, sad, betrayed, guilty, hurt, and confused. Studies have found that family instability can negatively affect our well-being. In fact, in the long run, it can negatively affect your physical, emotional, and mental health and lead to the development of chronic stress, anxiety, and depression.

“Children who experience toxic stress early in life are at risk of negative long-term health effects that may not become evident until adulthood,” explains a 2014 study.

Research also shows that poor family relationships can have negative long-term effects on a patient’s health and increase the risk of premature death. According to a 2017 study, toxic family relationships can lead to stress, lowered self-esteem, unhealthy coping behaviors, and reduced general well-being. The study adds: “Family relationships are permanent and lead to well-being throughout life.”

This is why cutting out toxic beds is so important. A toxic family member will not hesitate to manipulate and take advantage of you. They will never think twice about soiling and spoiling the sacred bond of love you share with them. Even when you’re emotionally hurt, they won’t back down. They know you’re stuck with them because they’re your family.

When you allow your toxic family members to abuse you whenever they want, they won’t stop sucking every ounce of happiness you have in your life. Unless you set clear, strong boundaries and remove yourself from that environment, it will continue to destroy your life.

The need to cut off toxic family members

Although we may know what we need to do to protect ourselves, we often wonder if cutting out a toxic family is the moral and ethical right thing to do. But it is never about what is right or wrong because it is a very subjective issue. What matters here is what’s best for you and your mental health.

Some people act the way they do because that is how they are. They may have a narcissistic personality or they may want to feel superior by putting you down. But it’s not about them, it’s about you.

It’s about taking charge of your life. It is about refusing to accept abuse and negativity in your life. It is about creating happiness. The unfortunate truth is that cutting off toxic family members will cause the abuser to look for someone else to abuse and feed their ego. Although it may create a void in your life, severing ties will not make any significant difference in their lives.

So rather than enduring toxicity daily, decide which behavior is acceptable to you and eliminate the rest. If the issue can be resolved through an open discussion, you must communicate with them honestly about how their behavior affects you.

However, if that is not an option, cutting out toxic beds and leaving becomes imperative to your well-being. You need to distance yourself. You always have to choose you because you are the only permanent thing in your life. Instead of turning a blind eye to their abusive and manipulative behavior and pretending that everything is still fine, realize that walking away is a good thing!

It doesn’t make you a terrible selfish person. Makes you human. Someone who is simply looking to protect themselves.

Why should you cut out toxic family members? If you are still having a hard time realizing how this relationship is draining your mind and ruining your life, here are a few reasons why cutting a toxic family is sometimes necessary-

They manipulate you
They are master manipulators and will use a range of strategies, such as guilt and denial, to distort the truth in their favor. They will make you look like the abuser while pretending to be the victim even though they are the abuser in the relationship.
They judge and criticize you unnecessarily
Toxic family members love to judge and criticize you in a rude and demeaning manner. Instead of offering constructive criticism, they focus more on breaking your confidence and shattering your self-esteem. They will constantly make fun of your flaws and make you feel good to hide your insecurities. This is one of the main reasons why cutting out toxic family members is important.
They violate your boundaries
Abusive individuals do not respect personal boundaries. No matter what boundaries you set to limit your interactions with them, they will intrude into your personal space and completely ignore your boundaries to show their dominance.

They control you and make unreasonable demands
They can stoop to any low level to control your life. They use subtle techniques like gaslighting to control your mind and make you question your thoughts. Moreover, they are very demanding and will continue to ask you for favors, but they will always have an excuse not to return them.
Unreliable
Still wondering why cutting out toxic family members is so important? You can never completely trust them or count on them for anything. A toxic family member will not hesitate to harm you for their gain even when you are related by blood.

They may pretend to have your best interests at heart, but they will stab you in the back when needed. They are untrustworthy to the core. This is one of the main reasons to cut out a toxic family member.

They lie constantly
Toxic family members are pathological liars who can make up stories on the go and deny even the most obvious facts even when confronted with evidence. They are completely dishonest and constantly lie to hide their low self-esteem, flaws, failures, and insecurities.

They use guilt as a weapon
Guilt getting you to do something for personal gain is their favorite game. No matter how strong your determination or how firm your boundaries are, they will make you follow their whims and fantasies by emotionally blackmailing you and making you feel guilty.

However, no matter how hard you try or how much you do for them, it will never be good enough. This can make you feel very overwhelmed and make you question your abilities.

Here are some other reasons why you need to consider cutting out toxic family members –

They are only available when they need something from you
They always need to be right and never accept their mistakes
They are always the victim even if it is their fault
They only help you when it is beneficial for them
They always blame others
They blatantly disrespect your loved ones
They are jealous of your happiness
Emotionally unpredictable
They exhibit passive-aggressive behavior
They overreact and create too much drama
They never acknowledge your feelings
They never care or care about your life
She makes you feel nervous, anxious, and hurt every time you interact with her
They lack self-awareness and never take responsibility for their behavior

The truth is, you don’t enjoy spending time with toxic family members. However, you have to tolerate them just because they are your family.

You make excuses for their abusive behavior even when it leaves you feeling tired. You avoid doing or saying things that might upset them even though it limits your potential in life. But this is not how families should work. A family should never feel like a prison sentence they have to go through.

Cutting out toxic family members who manipulate you, don’t respect you, or value your emotions is not negative or unforgiving behavior. It does not make you a toxic person. It simply means that the relationship has lost all value to you due to the constant abuse and lack of care from the other person.

When you’re going through years of injustice, criticism, and bullying, you need to take care of yourself and take steps to end the abuse, move on, and heal your heart and soul.

Why cutting ties with a toxic family is hard

Dealing with toxic family members is never easy. Regardless of the number of reasons listed here for cutting a toxic family member, the process can be quite challenging when it comes to actually doing it. This process is difficult and painful because we don’t realize that their behavior is hurtful or abusive. They are part of our family and our lives. So we tolerate their toxic attitude and refuse to take it as abuse even when that is exactly what it is.

Here are some of the reasons why cutting a toxic family is so difficult –

Love and attachment
Despite how messy our families may be, we can’t deny that we genuinely love our families regardless of all the arguments, fights, drama, and abuse. Unfortunately, a healthy relationship takes a lot more than just love work. He needs trust, respect, support, care, and affection.

However, it is this love that binds us and keeps us from leaving a toxic family environment. Furthermore, unhealthy and insecure attachment styles can add to a toxic relationship. But you have to realize that love does not necessarily translate into a healthy relationship.

Severe guilt
One of the biggest shortcomings of a family relationship is the number of unreasonable expectations that leave you feeling crippled. We are expected to sacrifice our happiness and dreams to take care of our families. So when we try to get away from a toxic family member, we are instantly seized with excessive guilt.

Cutting off toxic beds makes us feel like we’re doing something inherently wrong. But we have to remember that we are not selfish or rude, we are simply protecting ourselves and our mental health. We choose ourselves first.

Commitment and loyalty
Being committed, loyal, and loyal to our family is almost instinctive to us. According to a 2016 study, a lifelong commitment and loyalty to our family can have “far-reaching behavioral implications” and lead to “extraordinary acts of self-sacrifice.”

However, a toxic family member will use your loyalty against you and try to control your actions and behaviors, preventing you from leaving.

Fear and anxiety
Perhaps one of the biggest disheartening factors that keep you from severing relationships is fear and anxiety. Being away from family, no matter how chaotic, means we will have to take responsibility for our actions and this can be a frightening realization.

Getting out of our comfort zone and getting rid of a toxic family is never easy. But that doesn’t mean you’ll keep yourself trapped in a toxic relationship and tolerate abuse for no reason. Be patient, practice self-love and self-compassion, and build a support system.

Remove toxic people from your life

Sometimes cutting out a toxic family becomes necessary to protect yourself, whether it be your family, friends, boss, co-workers, or even your partner. However, cutting off a toxic family member is probably the hardest decision to make because it takes a lot of strength to create distance from someone who is probably a big part of your life.

But, if you have been subjected to physical or emotional abuse and it is affecting your mental and emotional health, you need to take a stand to build yourself a happy and healthy life. Yes, abandoning toxic family members feels guilty but it doesn’t make you a terrible person.

You are allowed to take care of yourself. You are allowed to take care of yourself. Sometimes cutting ties with a toxic person is an act of self-love and self-compassion. Studies have found that self-compassion is positively correlated with motivation to correct our mistakes and differences in relationship satisfaction, regardless of conscience.

More research revealed that when you refuse to put up with abuse from a family member and end the relationship, you can experience significant feelings of relief, independence, emotional strength, and positive emotions. However, there may be some negative consequences of cutting ties with a toxic family member, such as feelings of loss and decreased mental well-being. It is therefore critical that you mentally prepare yourself for the challenges that may accompany cutting a toxic family.

However, when it comes to certain family members or relatives whose only goal in life is to boost their self-esteem by abusing you, distancing yourself from that relationship may be the only way to heal yourself.

How to cut ties with your toxic lover

Not sure how to deal with toxic family members during the holidays? Since moving away from the abuser in your family can be difficult, here are some steps that can help make detoxing a toxic family practical and achievable. This is how you cut down on a toxic family member –

Accept that it is offensive
Get to know the fact that your family member is toxic, abusive, and a narcissist. Accept that they will never, ever consider your feelings and it is not your job to fix or salvage them. You also need to realize that caring about your happiness is not wrong.
We understand that they will never change
Although some narcissists may change over time, most toxic and abusive individuals are unable to change their thinking and behavior patterns throughout their lives. The more you put up with their abusive behavior, the more you poison them.
Have an open conversation
Talk to the person openly and honestly before you decide to cut all ties. Sit quietly and talk to them about how their behavior frequently hurts you. Give them a chance to explain.

If they continue to refuse to acknowledge your feelings and take responsibility for their toxic behavior, you can make the final decision about breaking it off.

Get away
Once you decide cutting out toxic family members is the only option left, walk away from the relationship. Don’t give them permission or opportunity to manipulate you or feel guilty about getting them back. Don’t give in to regret or sympathy.

Stand your ground and stick to your decision. Go on and stay focused on yourself and improving your life.

Here are some other helpful suggestions that can help you cut toxic family ties –

Delete their contact details from your phone
Block them on social media
Avoid talking about her negatively with other family members
If they contact you, avoid arguing with them or giving them an explanation
In case you need to contact them, meet them in the presence of others
Be patient, set strong boundaries, and work on self-development
Grieve the loss of the relationship, if necessary
Build a support network with supportive friends and relatives
Consult a therapist if necessary
Limit contact rather than cut ties
Sometimes, a complete break from a relationship may not be possible. In such cases, creating distance in the relationship seems more feasible and practical than distancing completely. However, this depends on the importance of the relationship and the degree of toxicity. Some relationship issues can be solved by creating some distance, like –

Limit interaction with them
Talk to them only about necessary topics
Restrict their access to your details
Avoid any provoking arguments
You should also maintain distance during family gatherings and holidays and limit your emotional involvement in the relationship.

Move towards a positive life

Cutting out toxic family members can be very difficult, stressful, and emotionally draining. This is why it’s important to surround yourself with positive, loving, and supportive people, such as family members and friends who understand what you’re going through. Consulting a therapist can also be helpful.

However, the most important thing is to realize that you are doing nothing wrong and that you do not owe the abuser anything. You only owe it to yourself. So be sure to practice self-love, self-compassion, and self-care, and let your heart guide you toward a more positive life.