Can narcissists feel empathy? Are there narcissists who empathize? Is there an empathetic narcissist? Yes, some narcissists can empathize because narcissism is more complex than just black and white.

Can narcissists be empaths?
While most of us tend to believe that narcissists lack empathy, and rightly so, many narcissists can be empathetic and feel the thoughts and feelings of others. But aren’t narcissists supposed to be evil? Well, that depends on how you define “narcissist.”

In this era, narcissists were given a bad name and seen as the villain of the story, but we have to realize that narcissism lies on a spectrum and most of us have some narcissistic traits to varying degrees.

A “real” narcissist is someone who has narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), which is a mental health condition. They are unable to control or change their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors without the help and support of loved ones and professionals.

So it’s not a good idea to call someone “evil” when they have a personality disorder they can’t do anything about.

However, most of the time people with narcissistic traits are mean, selfish, and uncaring which makes them toxic because people with NPD are rare.

While people with narcissistic traits and not necessarily NPD can be truly toxic and abusive and wreak havoc on their life, we need to look beyond these common “good and bad” labels to understand what empathic narcissists are.

This means that while some narcissists can possess empathic abilities, some empaths can also possess narcissistic traits. Reality exists in the gray area between our black-and-white way of seeing the world.

What is an empathic narcissist?

Definition of an empathic narcissist: Refers to someone who displays narcissistic and empathic traits. They can be charming and skilled at reading people’s emotions, but they can also use these abilities to manipulate and control others for their benefit.

Yes, the term “empathic narcissist” is an oxymoron, as narcissists are notorious for their lack of empathy. But some narcissistic individuals are capable of showing a certain level of empathy toward others.

They can easily read other people’s feelings and use this knowledge to control others for personal gain. They may appear caring and affectionate, but their motives may be driven by self-interest.

While they may understand and “empathize” with your feelings, they view their ability to empathize as a weakness. They believe they are victims and being able to feel the feelings of others is a negative experience.

This is why they refrain from caring and empathizing with others because it will not lead to any personal benefits.

Genuinely empathetic people empathize with others and try to help them. However, a narcissist with empathic abilities does not value their emotional capabilities and tries to avoid opening up to other people’s feelings.

They do not like to be emotionally vulnerable and set strong boundaries around themselves, which prevent them from caring and being sensitive to others.

Traits from an empathetic narcissist

Empathy and narcissism are generally opposing traits and it is rare for a person to display both to the same extent. However, some individuals with narcissistic traits may display behaviors that incorporate both traits to some degree.

The following are some of the common traits that may be seen in individuals with NPD who display empathic behavior:

Able to relate to other people’s feelings, but only on a superficial level
Very attuned to the needs and desires of others, but only to the extent that it benefits them
They may have a strong sense of entitlement and believe they deserve special treatment or attention
High levels of empathy for some people they see as important or useful, but not for others
Desire to attract attention, validation, and admiration from others using their empathic abilities
You must be seen as a good person or a moral authority
The tendency to manipulate others to achieve their goals, get what they want, and maintain a positive self-image
Not sympathizing with those they see as inferior or unworthy of their attention
He may lack real remorse or empathy for his harmful behavior toward others
The tendency to exploit others for personal gain
The tendency to use charm and charm to win people over
Belief in their superiority or uniqueness with a tendency to feel deserving of special treatment or privileges
He may engage in acts of kindness or generosity, but only to gain praise or admiration
Not caring about the feelings or needs of others when they conflict with their goals or desires
He may become defensive or angry when his empathetic behavior is not recognized or appreciated
May exhibit a pattern of unstable or troubled relationships due to their inability to form deep, meaningful connections with others
It is important to note that empathic narcissism is not an official diagnosis, and not all mental health professionals agree that it is a valid concept.

Thus, it should not be used to classify or diagnose anyone. Furthermore, a person with a narcissistic personality may display a range of behaviors and traits, and not all individuals with NPD display empathic behavior.

Emotional narcissists are still narcissists

It is important to note that having certain narcissistic traits does not necessarily mean that a person is a narcissist. Narcissism is widespread and many people show some signs of narcissism without meeting the criteria for narcissistic personality disorder (NPD).

Hence, individuals who display some narcissistic traits may also have moments of empathy towards others.

For example, they may feel sorry for someone who is going through a difficult time or offer help to someone in need. However, these states of empathy are usually self-serving and can be used to manipulate or control others.

Empathic narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and a desire for admiration and attention, but they also have the ability to sense the emotions of others.

They may use their empathic abilities to play mind games with others and gain their admiration, but they may genuinely care about the welfare of those around them.

This combination of traits can make it difficult to identify an empathic narcissist, as they may appear caring and empathetic on the surface, but may be motivated by self-interest.

Do they really care like empaths?
Empathic narcissists often use their ability to read people’s feelings to their advantage, gaining trust from others. They may use people’s weaknesses to exploit them for their own benefit, often in subtle ways. Their empathy also allows them to use flattery or emotional blackmail to get what they want.

However, empathic narcissists may also feel genuine empathy and concern for others, which can be confusing to people they interact with regularly. They may actually want to help others and may be skilled at providing emotional support.

Dealing with an empathetic narcissist can be difficult, as they can be charming and manipulative. It is important to set boundaries with them and recognize their tendency to use their empathic abilities to their advantage.

It is also necessary to realize that although they may be empathetic, they may still suffer from egocentrism and a lack of empathy in some situations.

What is a relationship with an empathetic narcissist like?

Relationships with empathic narcissists can be complex and challenging. While they may show some degree of empathy, their narcissistic tendencies can make it difficult for them to connect with others on a deep emotional level.

Outwardly, these narcissists may appear caring and sympathetic toward their partner, but this behavior is often motivated by a desire for validation rather than a genuine concern for their partner’s well-being.

In the early stages of a relationship, a narcissist may be charming, charismatic, and attentive, showering their partner with compliments and gifts.

However, as the relationship progresses, an empathetic narcissist may become increasingly controlling and manipulative, using their partner’s emotions as a tool to control them.

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While empathic narcissists may identify with their partner’s feelings, they may become defensive or dismissive when their partner expresses negative feelings. This can lead to a lack of emotional intimacy and depth in the relationship.

A narcissist with empathic abilities may also struggle with boundaries and may become overly involved in their partner’s life or try to control their partner’s actions and decisions. This can lead to feelings of suffocation and a loss of partner independence.

Relationships with empathic narcissists are often dominated by –

The intense charm and attractiveness they use to win people over and hide their negative traits.
Feelings of superiority, which can lead to a sense of entitlement and a lack of consideration for the needs and feelings of a partner.
Emotional manipulation to get their partners to do what they want or to maintain control in the relationship.
Not empathizing with their partner’s feelings and needs because they only show empathy for certain people.
Shifting blame, playing the victim, and avoiding responsibility for their actions when things go wrong in the relationship.
Inconsistency in their behavior and emotional responses, makes it difficult for the partner to know what to expect from them.
Perfecting their partners at the beginning of the relationship, only to devalue them later as the relationship progresses.
The truth is, a relationship with an empathetic narcissist can be stressful and emotionally volatile. It is important to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or other mental health professional if you feel you are in a relationship with such a narcissistic person.

Dealing with an empathetic narcissist

Dealing with an empathetic narcissist can be difficult, as their behavior can be unpredictable and emotionally draining. However, some strategies may help you deal with an empathic narcissist, such as –

Set boundaries
Set clear boundaries about what you are and don’t want to put up with in the relationship, and communicate it clearly and firmly. This can help prevent an empathic narcissist from crossing boundaries and taking advantage of others.
Practice self-care
Take care of yourself and prioritize your well-being. This may include getting enough sleep, eating well, and engaging in activities that bring you joy and satisfaction.

Engaging in self-care activities such as exercise, meditation, and spending time with loved ones can help reduce stress and promote emotional well-being.

Be practical and realistic
Realize that an empathic narcissist may not be able to change their behavior or develop a true sense of empathy, and adjust your expectations accordingly.

Seek support
Reach out to friends, family members, or a professional for support and guidance in managing the relationship.

It can be helpful to seek the support of a therapist or counselor who can provide guidance and support as you navigate the challenges of dealing with an empathic narcissist.

Focus on your own needs
It is essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and focus on meeting your own needs. This can help reduce feelings of interdependence and enable you to make decisions that are in your best interest.

Avoid falling victim to their manipulation
Reject the narcissist’s sympathetic manipulations and avoid getting sucked into arguments or power struggles.
Hold them accountable
When an empathic narcissist acts inappropriately or crosses boundaries, hold them accountable for their actions and communicate the consequences.
Walk away from the relationship
In extreme cases, ending the relationship may be the best course of action. If the narcissist is unwilling to change his or her behavior or seek professional help, it may be necessary to end the relationship to protect your emotional well-being.

This is especially true if the relationship is causing significant harm to your mental health and well-being.

Remember, dealing with an empathetic narcissist can be challenging, but it is possible to set boundaries and prioritize your well-being while maintaining the relationship if you choose to do so.

It may be helpful to seek guidance from a therapist or other mental health professional to develop a relationship management plan.

Narcissism or empathy?

The concept of “empathetic narcissist” is somewhat controversial, as the two terms seem to be contradictory. Narcissism is usually associated with a lack of empathy, while empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

However, some experts believe that a person can possess both traits to some degree.

Empathic narcissists are individuals who display traits that could be mistaken for true empathy but are driven by a desire for admiration, validation, and control.

It is important to prioritize self-care and seek support from a therapist or other mental health professional if you are in a relationship with an empathic narcissist.

It is important to remember that individuals with narcissistic personality disorder may need professional help to address their behavior, and seeking guidance from a mental health professional is essential for anyone dealing with the challenges of an empathic narcissist.