Relationships take a lot of effort to work, but efforts must be made on both sides. If it proves that you’re the only one making all the efforts and compromises and trying to make the relationship work, then it’s time to stop trying for a relationship that’s already dead.

“For the girl who’s tried too little for the wrong relationships,”

You are gems. You may have done a lot for the wrong people and the wrong relationships, but it doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve them, the fact is that they don’t deserve you. Wrong relationships are not a reflection of who you are, they are a reflection of who you are.

I want to tell you, it’s impressive how much you try with the people you care about. I admire how much you invest in people and what you are willing to give. I think it feels really good to jump into things feet first with all your heart. You see the best in everyone.

Why do you keep trying to make the relationship work, even if it’s wrong?

People look to the past. Those who are stumbling and complex. The ones you think you can fix. But the people you think you can change are the ones who hurt you the most. These are the people who will take everything you give until you have nothing left and then walk away with it and you are the one feeling broken.

I want to say that this is how you will see only good relationships. But you will see a lot of bad things before you see good ones.

You will see people messing with your head and you will analyze it thinking it is something you are doing wrong. They will be the ones who answer the messages after three days. People who seem to care about this is something they can turn it on and off. It will be people who blow up your newsfeed and then ignore you. The people who come in and out of your life like they have the right to be.

You will see a lot of people telling you what you want to hear because they have improper motives. And they only think about one thing. You will have a lot of physical relationships with people but what you will lack is an emotional connection that just isn’t there. This is not something you can force.

And you’ll keep trying and you’ll still care because that’s who you are. You don’t act emotionally or emotionally because that’s not who you are. Even the wrong people will take advantage of you.

Then when it comes to committing a lot of her he just won’t. You will analyze yourself and detail your flaws believing that you are the one responsible for someone’s inability to be what you need them to be while trying so hard to play what someone wants you to be.

Related: 6 Early Red Flags Of A Toxic Relationship

There will be moments when you lose yourself and pretend to be who you want to be instead of who you are. I hope they don’t make you feel like it’s bad to care about the way you do. But unfortunately, it’s a generation that doesn’t adhere to your same values.

I will ask you not to change that. Even when you come across people who look at you and think you’re crazy for some standards and some things you believe in, they will try and make you feel wrong when in fact they are.

They will try to force you to settle down. And there will be moments when you settle for less than you deserve. There will be some toxic relationships where people are not nice. I know it will hurt a lot.

You’re going to do back-hopping some folks who are trying to be enough. You will fall in love with people who do not deserve this affection and effort. And many of them will not reciprocate whatever you have to offer because it is different. you are different.

Everyone is used to being taken advantage of, taken advantage of, and watching someone expect something in return. Being honest, kind, and giving without requiring anything in return is admirable. And I know it will hurt sometimes. And I know you’ll cry yourself to sleep a lot. I know you will distinguish yourself by trying to be better.

But you have to realize that you are better.
You are better than men who use you for sex.
You are better than men who use you emotionally.
You are better than men who lie to you, tell you what you want to hear, and make promises they will never keep.
You are better than men who can’t commit.
You are better than unanswered texts and the games they love to play.
You are better than the people who keep you waiting.
You are better than those who leave.

You become emotionally attached and think you need people but they are the ones who need you and a lot of them won’t realize it until you walk away and it’s too late.

But I ask you not to change even when you are in pain. Because one day you will meet someone who will teach you, that’s enough. One day you will meet someone and everything you have done for others will come back to you.

One day you will meet someone who will make you realize how amazing you are and you will start seeing yourself through his eyes. You will not look at your flaws or the things you wish you could change. Because for him, you would be perfect.

You will meet someone who does not take you for granted or use you for sex but teaches you what sex is in a relationship. He will be someone who doesn’t keep you a secret but shows you off to everyone. It will be someone who meets you halfway. And when that happens, it will feel a little weird at first because I know you are not used to getting what you give but that is exactly what you deserve.

He will be someone who answers your messages quickly and wants to see you as much as you want to be seen. He won’t cancel you out or leave you standing somewhere on your own while you put on a brave face even though you’re hurting.

Being the way you are will get hurt but that’s part of it. One day you will love again and it will be okay and you will be sure and wake up next to someone who makes you feel like you were never broken. Because he doesn’t treat you that way.

If I can tell my younger self and every other girl like me something about the relationships you engage in so that you find the right one, don’t try too hard. Don’t hurt your deep loving self. Don’t think you have to do everything to make the relationship work. Don’t choose the wrong people. But then I realized those relationships had to happen.

Those bad relationships that brought me to my knees will be the ones that teach me to value the right relationship. And for every bad relationship and every night I cried myself to sleep and how much it hurts, that’s how much better it will be.