Have you ever found yourself being ignored by someone and you have no idea why? The narcissist will deliberately ignore his target to cause harm, often encouraging others to do the same (ostracism). How do you respond to the treatment of the silent narcissist? How do you flip the game and play it better?
What did you do, the goal you did to deserve to be ignored?
More than likely none of any importance. The narcissist will react to whatever punishment they see fit for your offense, be it minor, real, or imagined, and the silent treatment is a favorite in their arsenal.
We all have an inherent need to belong. Being especially shunned by those we love is debilitating for even the strongest of people. By being ignored or shunned, we are left feeling worthless with our self-esteem at an all-time low.
The narcissist will express their disapproval by shutting down, withdrawing any love or affection, refusing to communicate, and denying their target any explanation. Why?
Avoidance, control, disempowerment and/or punishment, and punishment for some perceived slight that their target is not fully aware of. They know how to make the other person feel but in their sick, twisted minds, they think they deserve it somehow. Their emotional maturity is typical of a five-year-old who feeds and leaves until he gets what he wants.
(Don’t confuse the silent treatment with no contact which is a process taken to protect ourselves, to give us time to heal and recover, not to punish or hurt anyone).
How does the narcissist expect you to react?
The narcissist wants to be the target of their abuse, and their silence is no doubt abuse, to reach out, beg, and beg for recognition of their existence. Responding in this way will give the narcissist a much-needed narcissist supply. The narcissist will read all of your texts and emails and get an enormous amount of satisfaction from them.
Oh, how you make them feel important! It is perfectly normal for a target of this kind of abuse to reach out in an attempt to resolve the situation.
Your phone calls will likely go to voicemail, and your texts or emails will be ignored. All your attempts to communicate will be met with deafening silence.
This passive-aggressive behavior is usually a recurring form of emotional abuse that the narcissist does over and over again with each episode of silence often lasting a little longer than the previous one.
This is the intentional manipulation that sets the goal for mind control in the future.
What these people don’t expect is your knowledge of twisted mind games.
They don’t expect you to know how to play these mind games any better than you can.
Instead of crawling over to them, let them crawl back into whatever hole they made for themselves and give them a taste of their own medicine.
How do you play a narcissist and play better?
Do not give them the desired result. Don’t beg and beg to be recognized. Let their silence teach you something.
Let that deadly silence teach you that you can go on without them. Use this period of silence as a time to reassess your position. Don’t waste your time trying to figure out what you did wrong. I know you want answers but don’t chase it for any.
They know that by not getting an answer from them, you are likely to start blaming yourself. You will apologize when you have no idea what to apologize for and try to do everything right this time, until next time. Don’t play for them.
If the narcissist sees that they are not getting their desired response, this period of silence is likely to end.
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However, keep in mind that if the narcissist believes that this particular form of manipulation is ineffective as far as you are concerned, they may turn to another manipulation tactic.
Respect yourself enough to know that someone who loves you would never treat you in such a disdainful way. People who love you don’t withhold love, they give it. People who love you support you. They don’t stab you.
