Are you stuck in a paying relationship with a narcissist? Let’s learn how one partner has power and control over the other person.

The relationship with a narcissist can be likened to feedback loops, “a weapon designed to get back at the shooter.”

Narcissists’ relationships follow a pattern where they drag you into the web with their obvious charm, intelligence, kindness, and generosity only to ruin it all for no apparent reason.

Then, when all seems lost, they start the magic again and things go back to those initial stages where everything is fine again… temporarily.

These sick and twisted mind games are highly effective methods of manipulation and mind control.

They play with your feelings and emotions. Why? To feed their never-ending need for narcissistic supply and get a reaction from you, positive or negative. The way they feel about themselves dictates how they treat you. Whether you deserve it or not, it’s not on their agenda.

Mind Control Course: Push the relationship with a narcissist

Narcissists don’t “do” solitude. They need a company like a car needs fuel. They thrive on the narcissist’s presentation, good or bad, positive or negative, and cannot function properly without it.

1. Love bombing
   A person with NPD wants to get you hooked and will initially appear considerate, fun, generous, and even kind. They will share the same interests and values (reflection) and if it is a romantic connection, they will distance themselves from you. Yes, you have met your princess or prince charming.

During this stage known as “love bombing,” you can’t believe your luck in meeting someone who shares your dreams and promises the world to you. It’s too good to be true!! Unfortunately, this is not the case. It’s not real.

2. Devaluation
   The narcissist gets bored easily. All positive offers and adoration are running out. It is not enough. You are not doing enough. It’s not their fault and it’s never their fault. They blame you. You need to suffer for not giving them the adoration and attention they think they deserve.

They will shout or hurl insults in your direction in an attempt to provoke you, to hurt you, in an attempt to get you to beg for them, to plead with them. If you happen to let them see those tears rolling down your cheeks, they will be moved and moved to the point of complete satisfaction.

Related: The Narcissistic Parent

3. The silent treatment
   You might even be exposed to their weapon of choice, the silent treatment. You do not deserve their recognition.

Their silence is justified. When you demand an explanation, want to know what you did wrong, and vow to do whatever it takes to make it right, your fragile ego is given a much-needed boost.

They will continue this behavior long enough, long enough to teach you a lesson and pray for their return but short enough that they don’t lose you, not yet!!

Now we will go back to the beginning. They’ll work the magic and you’ll be back in the web again, relieved that you’re back where you need to be. Everything will be perfect for a while… until next time.

Ditching the good and the bad over months or years destroys your emotions. The state of confusion doesn’t even come close to describing what you’re feeling. This goes beyond bewilderment as to why this is happening.

And yes, the narcissist loves every minute. They planned this from the start. They are masters of manipulation, and they practice their tactics in every relationship.

If the narcissist does his job well, you may find yourself with no one to turn to, no friends, no family, they have cut you off from everyone you love.

If the narcissist thinks you’ve figured them out and it’s not quite the time to let you go, they will do everything to stop you from moving on.

They may promise to change…they won’t.

They may offer to ask for help… they don’t need help, they are perfect the way they are.

They say it will never happen again…it will.

They might apologize… that’s not being honest.

These are all desperate measures to prevent you from leaving. You do not have the freedom to decide when the relationship ends. This is their prerogative.

Related: 7 Types Of People You Should Avoid At All Costs

Eventually, you will decide you have had enough of the control and mind games and either leave the narcissist or they will abandon you in the most cruel way you can think of. Either way, this is not the end.

Don’t fall for their attempts to revive the past. It is useless. Protect yourself, protect your heart. The outcome has already been determined.

“Never go back to the person who nearly brought you down.”