Dealing with a narcissist can be a challenging experience. They have a knack for making you crazy, and they’ll go to great lengths to prove that you are. There are certain things a narcissist says to gaslight and deceive you.
Narcissists may not look different from everyone else, which can make it difficult to get to know them at first. However, once you become intimately involved with a narcissist, you may find yourself desperately searching for a way out.
Narcissists can be highly intelligent and manipulative. They can mold themselves into the characters they want to be to get what they want from almost anyone. But while they may be able to deceive you for a while, in the end, they are deceiving themselves.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, you may feel like there is no way out. They will use their charm and manipulative methods to get what they want from you, and once they have used you for everything they want, they will ignore yesterday’s news that you like it.
Before they do, they may use some catchphrases to try to break you down. So, what are the things that narcissists usually say to manipulate you? Let’s find out!
Related: The Truth About Gaslighting: 10 Things I Wish I’d Known Before It Happened To Me
5 Things a narcissist says to make you go crazy
- “Stop thinking about everything.”
Surely, some people think about other people’s attitudes, words, and actions. But when a narcissist tells you this, if you look back, you will realize that you weren’t over-analyzing. Instead, you were factually right.
Narcissists are masters of manipulation. They will intentionally engage in activities that hurt you and then try to make you feel guilty for being suspicious or paranoid.
They will make you doubt your intuitive abilities just to prove you wrong, and if you need, they will make sure you feel guilty and lose your confidence.
Why do they do that? All this is just to protect their wounded egos.
- “Stop being so melodramatic all the time.”
This is one of the most common things narcissists say when flirting with someone.
Narcissists don’t like drama, but they seem to be in it wherever they go. They may shower you with affection, attention, care, and consideration in the courtship phase, but they never agree with this ideal.
Once they start finding flaws in you, they will start criticizing you and blaming you for everything. The care and attention you once gave them will gradually begin to irritate them. If you bring up your concerns, it will make you feel guilty for becoming the drama dealer you most definitely are not.
If you do, they will show their frustration, and tell you how much they hate drama. You will be blamed for becoming a drama queen which you are not. All they want then is “peace of mind” and “space” from you.
Related: Don’t Fall For The Trap: Identifying Emotional Abuse Before It Happens
- “You are too sensitive to handle.”
Narcissists project emotions into others. They will shower you with compliments, appreciation, love, and attention, and then suddenly disappear for days to keep you separate from them.
When you finally connect, they may use your anger and disappointment against you, blaming you for being so clingy and needy. If you’re unlucky, they might tease you, joke, laugh, and make fun of you for being a crybaby.
They will use your sensitivity towards you and not feel even an iota of remorse. This is one of the most common things a narcissist will say to manipulate you into believing that you are the problem and not the problem.
- “You never understand me.”
This is one of those sneaky things narcissists say to get you crazy.
Gaslighting is a common technique narcissists use to make you question your perceptions and experiences. They will lie to you and entertain circumstances to make you question yourself and your reality.
As soon as you begin to disbelieve and question them, they will turn the wheel of blame towards you, saying that you will never understand them. The moment they realize they are losing control and that you are starting to see through their facades, they will quickly start manipulating you into thinking that you are insensitive and unfair towards them.
If you are a good person and someone who likes to keep the peace in the relationship, you will believe them and apologize for your behavior in matchmaking as they do a quick happy dance in their mind thinking they have won.
Related: How Overthinking Affects Your Life (and 6 Ways To Stop)
- “I hate being with a crazy/bipolar/jealous lover like you.”
Narcissists often paint their past experiences as crazy or manipulative. If they start calling you crazy, bipolar, or jealous, it’s just another way to deflect blame and make you feel like you’re the problem.
All their mind games and toxic actions depend on your reflexes. This way they get a chance to complain about how crazy you are, how you are ruining their lives and destroying their peace.
Once they’re done, they won’t stumble twice before throwing you into this same very “crazy” bucket, going on a never-ending cycle of idealizing and devaluing anyone unlucky enough to cross their path.
Remember, dealing with a narcissist can be difficult, but it’s important to stay grounded and remind yourself that you’re not crazy. These are just some of the things a narcissist says in a relationship to manipulate their victims; There are a lot of toxic things narcissists say and do to control someone.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a narcissist, the best thing you can do is get out as soon as possible.
