In life, we will always encounter many difficult and problematic people. Perhaps you work with difficult people in your workplace or deal with problematic people in your family. So now the question is, how do you deal with difficult people? What are the best ways to deal with difficult people?

the main points

The problematic people in our lives reflect our own insecurities and shortcomings.
We can learn a lot about ourselves if we take a closer, more empathetic look at someone we have personal conflicts with.

Through our interactions, we can learn and grow, becoming higher and more authentic versions of ourselves.
We all have people we struggle with, problematic people who seem to drain our energies, rub us the wrong way, deceive us, provoke us, frustrate us, or pit us.

What really happens when we find ourselves dealing with difficult colleagues and individuals, and how can we learn and grow by reflecting on our relationships with the difficult people in our lives?

Most often, we seek to surround ourselves with people we enjoy and love, people we enjoy, trust and depend on, and do the same for them. But most of us don’t have complete control over everyone we work with, meet, or interact with on a regular basis.

We were also born into families that we grow and evolve with over time, some of which we find difficult in some ways and struggle with.

At some point in time, we all have family, friends, colleagues, and strangers who can annoy us, derail us, challenge us, or stir up conflict in even the most trivial of interactions.

We are all difficult people

The truth is that to some extent, we are likely to be hard on someone! The Difficult Person Test—described as one of the most uncomfortable tests on the Internet—categorizes the responses of each test taker into seven categories, including cruelty, aggressiveness, grandiosity, manipulation, dominance, risk-taking, and suspicion, and arrives at a bottom line. And the result.

While individual results will vary, even people who are identified as easy to get along with will find that they possess problematic traits and aspects of themselves that define them as difficult people.

What is the problem?

In some ways, we may not know ourselves well or see ourselves as well as others can. Each person we interact with holds a mirror to us and allows us to see certain aspects of ourselves.

We see who we are as sons or daughters in front of our parents. We see who we are as a partner in front of our partners, a brother in front of our sisters and brothers, a student in front of our teachers, a coworker in front of our peers, and a friend in our presence. friends.

Through our many interactions, everyone reflects to us who we are. The problematic people in our lives reflect our insecurities and shortcomings.

blaming

Consciously or unconsciously, we unfairly blame others and call them problems when it’s our insecurities that make us all anxious, trigger unpleasant feelings, and challenge us when we’re in their presence.

As a result, we negatively judge these people as difficult, unpleasant, or problematic.

Challenge yourself to go deeper

We can learn a lot about ourselves if we make an effort to take a closer, more sympathetic look at someone with whom we have personal struggles. Think of someone you struggle with.

This person – whatever the problem – is unlikely to be all bad! Think about and try to identify the uncomfortable feeling or feelings you have with this person.

Consider the traits you like or admire in this person and the qualities you have in common with them. Think about the traits you struggle with. You may find that you share annoying traits.

Compassionate self-reflection

As you begin to examine what the problematic people in your life reflect, you will likely identify the traits you admire in them, the traits you share, and even the traits you would like them to have.

The traits you struggle with are traits that you don’t trust, that you find undesirable, or that you feel unable to manage. When someone mirrors a trait that you struggle with or cannot relate to, you need to think about not just why, but how to approach that trait with kindness and empathy.

Even with the most annoying people in your life, compassion is the way forward.

Our higher and better selves

Two main reasons we suffer in life are that we do not accept situations as they are, and we do not accept people as they are.

We need to learn to accept others as they are. By clearly seeing ourselves as we and others are, we can manage our expectations and conduct our interactions with greater awareness and empathy.

The multiplier effect of mercy

In “Have Compassion,” a 2011 publication in Psychology Today, blogger Rick Hanson, Ph.D., makes the following observations about the cascading effect of empathy in relationships with others.

He writes: “Those who receive your pity are more inclined to be patient, tolerant, and merciful with you. Compassion reflects the wisdom that everything is related to everything else, and naturally draws you to feel more connected to all things.”

Remember that the world outside us—including the most problematic people in it—shows us aspects of ourselves. Through our interactions, we learn and grow, becoming higher and more authentic versions of ourselves. This, after all, is the reason we are here.

Dealing with people is hard

Decide to deal with the difficult people in your life healthily and compassionately.
Make a note of the troubling traits of the problem people in your life, and what insecurities and flaws these traits bring up in you.
Acknowledge the common positive and negative traits you share, the traits you have that you admire.
Accept people as they are.
Practice empathy in your dealings and interactions with others, especially those who challenge you.