Cheating on a narcissist means they will feel a deeper hurt and rejection than any normal person. They can’t handle the face they’ve been cheated on. Their perception of you will change irrevocably because of your infidelity.
I know, I know, who would do such a thing, but he does. How do we react to this if it’s something you’re thinking of doing?
Is cheating on a narcissist possible?
First of all, it helps to explain, but how rare it is to find that our victims are willing to deceive us. There are several reasons for this:-
During the seduction period there is absolutely no reason to do so. This is sexy, cool, love at its best (it seems) and because of this golden period, cheating on this amazing person who came into your life would be like cutting off your right arm. Pointless.
The sympathetic qualities of honesty and decency mean cheating is anathema to the victim.
The empathic traits of being a love interest and someone who believes in fixing and healing means that the victim would rather address issues (in the mistaken belief that they can be cured) with the narcissist going elsewhere.
The desire to return to the golden period means that the victim does not want to do anything through which our species will be lost. Instead, they want to cling on in hopes of making things better.
Many empathetic individuals subscribe to the concept of two wrongs that don’t make a right.
Being a truth seeker, the sympathetic victim finds himself unable to consider acting in a deceptive manner by cheating.
Related: The Narcissist In Court: What You Need To Know
All of these factors work against the victim’s betrayal of the narcissist. However, if it does happen on the rare occasions, what is the reaction of each school narcissist?
What happens when you cheat on a narcissist? Narcissistic injury and revenge
As you should have expected, the revelation that you were unfaithful to us is a massive criticism. This tells us in no uncertain terms, that you are considered someone above us. You are our primary resource. You belong to us. Yes, with our sense of entitlement and lack of accountability we will do as we please, but you can’t. We are so hypocritical that we commit many acts of infidelity, but you shouldn’t.
Any outside observer, though reluctant to punish such a transgression, would no doubt understand why the victim would do so in light of the onslaught of transgressions committed by our species. This is not an excuse or reason in our eyes.
The average person would be upset and likely have reason to wonder why the other person was behaving this way. Leaving aside the instances where a person deals with an unfaithful narcissist, the cuckold usually wonders why this is happening? Is there a deficiency in the relationship? Is there something that needs to be addressed and resolved?
You shall be kneeling before us daily and thanking you for choosing to be our primary resource. Being disloyal and deceiving us creates a huge wound. He made us feel worthless, inferior and hopeless. You acted against us, acted out of our control, and criticized us.
Everything that matters most to us – status, omnipotence, power and control – has been eroded by your behaviour. You are a traitor. A cruel and corrupt traitor corrupted by an outside and meddling factor. You threw everything we did in our face (because of course we easily forget everything we did to you) and we hate you.
It is such an act that inflames our anger because we are now in dire need of fuel to heal the huge wound you have caused. This is not a simple scrape. This is a brutal and profound blow that threatens to bring us down.
The youngest will respond with an angry display of his smoldering rage. You will be physically attacked and beaten. You will have to decide who’s on the other end and as the lesser of our kind drinks in the fuel of your tears and terror it won’t be enough. He will seek out the other party and attack them as well.
Properties will be destroyed, windows knocked out, car tires snapped, and rooms smashed as micro-spirals spiral out of control. He becomes a frantic whirlwind that will sweep away anyone and everyone around him, but most of all, you. Cheating on people is less dangerous than suffering serious physical injury, even death because in an instant he loses control and cannot regain it.
The size of the wound is so great that fuel is required for missiles. You can expect to be beaten unconscious and the younger one to wait until you regain consciousness to assault you again. This brutality will continue on a massive scale. Only when fuel is obtained from you and others will hell recede like a minor rage.
He will then leave and seek a third source of intimate partner (such as a prostitute) or a secondary source of intimate partner (continuous possibility or finding one) while continuing his punishment of you by having sex with someone else.
He will come back and if you haven’t made your escape by that point, he will use your betrayal as a repeating stick (figuratively and literally) to beat you up on a repeat basis after that, because every time he looks at you he remembers your betrayal.
The Mid-Ranger will also lose control upon learning of your betrayal. While the lesser will embrace an all-out attack, the medium will alternate between attacking you and wanting you to feel guilty. He’ll want to talk about it because he’s struggling to understand how someone could do that after all he’s done.
He will keep you up all night as he takes almost masochistic pleasure in grilling you about every detail of what happened. He will want to know who, what he does, where you met, how many times, whether the sex was good or not, did you use protection, why did you do it, and why is it not good enough.
The questions will be like machine gun fire, spitting on you as he forces you to explain yourself. He will cry and then slap you. He’ll supply you with a string of his good points (dismissing any suggestion that his failures are a catalyst for what you’ve done) and then spit on you.
He will tell you that you have to leave but he won’t because he wants you to suffer. He wants you to look at his seemingly broken face and feel guilty and boy does he know you feel guilty. He wants to savor your upset, your heart’s feeling of remorse as he gains fuel from your upset, your sympathy, and your apology.
Ever the attention-seeker of the crowd, you can expect the Mid-Ranger to call your parents, friends, colleagues, and anyone else he can think of to tell them what you’ve done. He will stand on the phone announcing how affected he is by your awful behavior and you will listen.
He will organize a crisis committee and ensure that several people come to the house immediately as you are being tried again. He will enjoy receiving the sympathy of others and will look gloomy as he washes away your shame. No matter how justified you feel seeking someone else’s attention, the mean guard will still get in your face until you break, cry, and cry your grief.
The Mid-Ranger will use this as evidence that you are a sex addict, that there is something wrong with you and insist that you get a doctor to go to therapy to have this sorted out.
He will not cast you aside because he wants you to atone for your crime. He will not confront the person you were unfaithful to, he is too cowardly to do so but he will ensure he uses your betrayal as a means of control.
Thus, if you slept with a neighbor, you should move home. If he’s a friend, you won’t see him anymore nor any of the social circle he’s associated with. You are put under a curfew, and you are not allowed to go out for months on end in a social sense. If it’s your colleague, you should transfer jobs.
The Mid-Ranger will want you to work on fixing the marriage or relationship but won’t remedy his wrongs. never. It will be all about making you better.
The elder is likely to find out about your infidelity before you admit it. His insatiable desire for control, his reliance on monitoring your movements through technology, and his network of spy associates means he will gather a dossier of information.
It is in such a situation that the greatest, with the help of his paranoid sense, has doubts, will be able to keep his ego in check and we will come back in a moment to how he responded when he had gotten wind of cheating.
If he didn’t realize and she confessed, the elder wouldn’t be able to control his burning anger either. It will explode and in this case the greatest is likely to use physical or sexual violence against its primary source.
His pain from criticism is great but what really sets him apart is the fact that he didn’t realize that he had to. His sense of being all-knowing and all-powerful was mortally wounded by your behavior and that is just as bad as the fact that you sought solace in the arms of another.
You will lose his usual intrinsic control and his malicious anger will be vented against you. You will likely be attacked and then evicted from the property. All attempts to calm him down, apologize, and try to make things right will be rebuffed.
He would need a massive splash of fuel from that explosion, and once he received it he would once again assert his control. From that point on, you don’t need fuel. In fact, you are not persona non grata. It will ignore you and turn to someone else, including the potential primary source as quickly as possible in the challenge offer but it won’t end there.
You will suffer misfortune because he punishes you. He doesn’t want you. You are dirty, tarnished goods, but he will not let you forget what you have done, and so you will be tarnished and exposed to a vicious campaign of malicious malice.
If the greatest has figured out what you are about, then his pleasure in gathering this information (and thus enhancing his cunning, cunning, and superiority) means that he can maintain his control. Instead he will plan and plan. He will smear you softly behind the scenes. He will plot to expose your infidelity and shame you.
He’ll probably use your birthday, anniversary, or an impromptu get-together with friends and family so he can get a large audience to cull you. He will strike when you least expect it and the evidence he has obtained (and he will go to great lengths to obtain it) will appear on the big screen for everyone gathered.
Thus, you will be shown hidden video footage showing you having sex with your lover in the house you shared with the narcissist. A slideshow of the texts you made on the back and forth calls after Your Phone was hacked will be compiled. Your conversations will be re-recorded (and appropriately edited to make the sound worse) for all those gathered.
As tears of shame roll down your face, the greatest will enjoy your downfall and the shocked and disgusted reactions of everyone around you. It will anchor the interface and make you play the whore, the scarlet woman, and the ungrateful bitch.
Try to blame the greatest when your family and friends witnessed two minutes of the neighbor beating you on the matrimonial bed. You don’t stand a chance.
After this disgrace you will be left out, a new primary already ready and waiting in the wings, and then the insidious Hoover campaign will begin, aided and abetted by our colleagues, our lieutenants, and now converted and disgusted third parties. You get the equivalent of being covered in tar and feathers.
Related: Surviving A Mom-ster: Trials And Tribulations Of Daughters Of Elderly Narcissistic Mothers
