the victim. I know that some do not like this word. They see it as a stigma and an obstacle to healing. One understands such an approach, but it is nonetheless the appropriate word for those who have encountered our kind in the narcissistic dynamic. What does victim mean?

“A person who has been harmed, injured, or killed as a result of a crime, accident, or other event or act.”

There is no denying that this applies to someone who has fallen into our trap.

“the person who was deceived”

applies equally. After all, the essence of our behavior is what we deceive or deceive.

“a person who feels helpless and passive in the face of misfortune or mistreatment”

Accurate again. Of course, not everyone may feel this way, but many will easily identify with it, even if they’d rather not advertise it.

Accordingly, these different definitions are true and accurate for those who have participated in our species, be it romantic, social, familial, or otherwise.

Yet it remains the case that when it comes to the question of victim and who wears the mantle of victim, our species once again demonstrates our well-known hypocrisy. We consider you the victim (we have to because that’s part of maintaining our control and the need to excel) but we also then look to remove that victim status from you.

Different schools of narcissism approach this double standard in different ways, as to how they stamp you into “victim” but then deny you any use or recognition of it. We both adorn you with the mantle and then somehow remove it.

Related: How to Spot Someone Playing The Victim? 6 Signs

The petty narcissist

He treats you as a victim because you are beneath him or her. Considered useless, in terms of way, annoyance, indecisiveness, and inability to second-guess, the lesser results are a quick flare-up of anger and its appearance as usually hot-tempered anger. You have been made to feel victimized, by being verbally attacked, physically assaulted, sexually assaulted, humiliated, having your property destroyed and seeing others you care about get sucked into the whirlwind.

The victim’s cloak is quickly put around your shoulders by this transaction of yours but then the minor immediately rips it away and rips it off and throws it to one side so you can’t use it. Your victim is created through aggressive actions or actions.

However, you are not allowed to retain the mantle of victim because the least takes the firm view that whatever remedy has been applied against you, well, you deserve it.

“She came back to talk to me until she got slapped.”
“He was lousy in bed so I told him how useless he was.”
“The house was such a mess, so she smashed it so she really had something to clean up.”

You are denied victim status because in the least mind you have brought the cure upon yourself. The fact that you deserve it negates the sympathy, compassion, and understanding that would normally be bestowed on the victim.

“Leave her, she deserves what she got, and stop pestering her.”
“It’s for his own good, so he’ll do it right next time.”
“Stop coddling that boy, he has to learn and I teach him.”

Of course, this behavior by the lesser known in labeling you a victim by mistreating you and then taking away the victim’s mantle is part of further control and manipulation. His off-kilter response will have generated fuel from your reaction to being hit or yelled at, but then, as the victim, he will usually give you concern, sympathy, and help from others.

The younger one may find himself triangled by a relative, friend, or bystander. This weakens his control and unconsciously brings his innate status as victim to the fore. He does not realize this. After all, he doesn’t want to wear the cloak for himself, he’s not a victim, no hell, he’s better than that, but just as he thinks he doesn’t want that cloak, you’re not allowed to wear it either and so he’ll deny you any entitlements associated with being classified as a victim, Just because his inherent (albeit unacknowledged) victim status makes his presence known.

Even the youngest member of the victim’s cadre does not consider himself a victim. He does so unconsciously, but considers his preferential treatment because of his poor health, his dodgy back, or his sheer bad luck, to be his merit. He wouldn’t see himself as a victim, but he is someone who should be taken care of, though of course he plays the victim cadre card extensively.

Why play this card? basic. To prevent you from being the victim. You cut your hand and can’t cook? Unfortunately, he’s hungry and unable to walk, so you still have to do something. Do you feel faint? He has a broken eyelash and you need to quickly take him to the hospital smartly.

But remember, he’s not a victim, you are, but you get no sympathy, solace, or help for being that victim. So you get the cloak but you are not allowed to wear it and it is torn and thrown away.

Related: Why The Narcissist Targets You: 5 Reasons

The narcissist is medium term

The Mid-Ranger will treat you as a victim because they are the perpetrators of various abuses and manipulations against you. While hot anger is seen with midrange narcissists (usually the lower middle guard), the manifestation of anger is more common through cold anger.

And so you get the present and absent silent cures, smearing, gaslighting, cold shoulders, and amazing power, just to name a few of the manipulations available to midrange narcissists.

The Mid Ranger treats you like the victim, as these abuses are directed against you and one would expect that the range of emotional, financial, sexual and most of all abuse that the Mid Ranger uses would mean The Victim’s Cloak would rest comfortably around your shoulders.

no.

Mid Ranger takes that cloak off you and puts it around his shoulders. It is their mantle. You are not allowed the trappings of being a victim because you are not entitled to support or concern. No, that should be directed at the Mid Ranger. While he rejects the idea of vulnerability often associated with the victim state, he believes he is the victim.

“I can’t believe I was passed over for promotion. I was discriminated against and I’m the best candidate.”
“I can’t begin to tell you how terribly she treated me.”
She never invited my daughter to see the grandchildren. I don’t know what I did wrong, but she is bent on making my life miserable.”

The midrange narcissist wants the mantle. It’s his right and he wants everything that goes along with it. He wants a pity party, an empathy conference, and an empathy symposium. He’s the victim, don’t you know? Show some support, give a worried look, ask how he’s doing, suggest a way to help, agree that it’s hard to do, downtrodden and treated horribly and after all he’s done.

He tells the Mid Range that she deserves to be treated better, that she is well respected and that this person who didn’t do what they wanted is a terrible person, a despot and an abuser.

The Mid-Ranger always plays the victim even though they are the culprit. You are the victim because you are the one being abused, but the average vigilante won’t see it that way nor will he or she allow anyone to look at it that way while he or she runs around and around in the victim’s cloak. You can never have the “benefits” that should be given to the real victim.

If the middle guard is also a victim, ask for plenty of handkerchiefs because he will take that victim’s cloak from you and sew it over himself and pass a needle and thread through the sore skin so that they will never separate from that cloak.

Related: Why The Narcissist Who Abused You Now Claims To Be Your Victim

thegreatest

The Greater would never consider himself or herself a conscious victim. never. After all, we are hunters, predators, and we target and find our prey. Not only that, we just need to look at what we do, what we achieve and how we are perceived and that confirms and reinforces that we are not victims.

However, we use the idea of being a victim to drive our behaviors but we don’t view it as a victim. No, instead we consider it based on revenge. We understand that the world is a treacherous place, full of charlatans and unreliable liars who make big promises and then fail to deliver. Miserable, boozy licks that flatter the deceiver, even though we naturally see through it all.

However, this behavior, both inexplicable and unjustified, still means that we can consider ourselves victims (if we really lower ourselves in that way). However, we are above that and once we were victims (though we see no reason to remind us of that fact because we got away with it) means that you, him, her, and everyone else will be punished if you even hint at bringing us back to that semi-forgotten victimhood.

We have no desire to wear the mantle of victimhood. It does not belong to us. Not our size, color, and inferior material. You are totally seen as the victim because this game we play with you (which we enjoy) means you have to be the victim because that means we win and you lose.

Oh, this mantle for you is fine but just like petty and mediocre narcissists, we will deny you any right to wear it. Why should you get any sympathy, support, or help? You shouldn’t, and here’s why; You deserve punishment, you have nothing to complain about.

We have given you the world through your association with us, so how can you get any basis for a complaint? You have brought this treatment upon yourself, so not only do you deserve it (similar to the narcissist’s petty point of view), it goes further, it is right and only to be treated this way.

Should the criminal be sympathetic when announcing his sentence? no. Should the morally reprehensible member of society be granted kindness for his heinous behavior? No. Then, neither do you.

You are deprived of the elements of victim status. You are the victim, of course, but you will not wear that mantle. It doesn’t even reach your shoulders like it does with the narcissist’s petty victim. We forbid her to approach you. We are the supreme arbiter of your destiny and we always apply the principle of “goods sua nemo habere injury”