Do you feel stressed and drained by toxic co-workers? Dealing with a narcissistic co-worker can certainly be challenging, but that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to put up with their toxicity. Here’s how to deal with a narcissistic co-worker.
What is a narcissistic co-worker like?
We’ve all experienced our fair share of bad co-workers in the workplace. They lie, steal, manipulate, control, gaslight, abuse and after all when their plans fail, they play the victim.
Narcissistic co-workers consistently display negative behavior in the workplace, causing harm or annoyance to others around them. This person may-
Creating a hostile or uncomfortable work environment
Make it difficult for others to do their jobs effectively
Creating a negative atmosphere that affects morale and productivity
Engaging in bullying, gossiping, and insulting others
Be controlling, demanding, and overly critical
The situation can be much worse when you encounter a co-worker with displaying narcissism. A person with displaying narcissistic disorder usually has an inflated sense of self-importance and seeks constant attention and admiration from others due to poor self-esteem.
This can make them very selfish and manipulative as they put their own needs above others. Thus, co-workers who suffer from exhibitionist narcissism can easily create a toxic work environment full of drama and chaos.
A narcissistic co-worker may have a sense of entitlement and believe they deserve special treatment or privileges. Because they lack empathy, it can be difficult to work with a narcissistic co-worker which leads to conflicts and issues within the team and the organization.
Understanding what a toxic co-worker is like will help you learn how to deal with a narcissistic co-worker in a healthy, positive way.
Related – Breaking Down The Devastating Effects Of Gaslighting In Narcissistic Victim Syndrome
Signs of a narcissistic co-worker
The first step in dealing with a co-worker who has showy narcissistic disorder or who exhibits showy narcissistic traits is to recognize their behavior.
Some common signs of a showy narcissistic co-worker include-
An inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement.
Lack of empathy for others.
Tendency to exploit or exploit others.
The need for admiration and attention.
The tendency to be arrogant and reject others.
Lack of self-awareness and insight into their behavior.
If you find yourself dealing with a co-worker who is displaying narcissism, it can be difficult to know how to handle the situation.
If you are struggling with such a situation and want to know how to deal with a narcissistic co-worker. Read on!
How do you deal with a narcissistic employee?
Now that you know the signs of a narcissistic co-worker, let’s discuss how to deal with a narcissistic co-worker to maintain your productivity and sanity.
Whether you are a manager or a colleague, these tips will help you handle this difficult situation with confidence and professionalism.
- Set boundaries
One of the most important things about how to deal with a narcissistic employee is setting boundaries. Narcissists may try to take advantage of you or your kindness, so it’s important to be clear about your boundaries and expectations. This may include –
Say no to unreasonable requests or demands
Refuse to get into arguments or disagreements
Set limits on the amount of time you spend with a co-worker
Being clear about your role and responsibilities in the workplace
When setting boundaries, it is important to be firm and firm, but also respectful and professional.
- Don’t get involved in the drama
The narcissistic co-worker’s goal is often to elicit a response from you. They thrive on attention, and will do whatever it takes to keep the focus on themselves. By getting involved in the drama, you are giving them exactly what they want.
If your co-worker tries to start an argument or create conflict, resist the urge to respond in any way. Instead, take a deep breath and stay calm. If necessary, remove yourself from the situation and take a break to regain your composure.
If you find it difficult to ignore the drama or conflict between them, try shifting your focus to something positive. For example, you can spend time brainstorming new ideas or working on a project that excites you.
This will help you maintain a sense of purpose and direction, even in the face of a difficult co-worker.
- Don’t try to change them
It’s natural to want to change someone’s behavior if it’s causing problems in the workplace, but with narcissistic individuals, this can be a futile effort. These individuals rarely change their behavior, and trying to change them can lead to frustration and a waste of energy.
Instead, focus on managing your reactions and interactions with them. This can help keep you safe and protect your emotional well-being in the workplace. Remember that you can’t control their behavior, but you can control how you react to it.
- Remain calm and balanced
Dealing with a narcissistic co-worker can be frustrating and stressful, but it is important to remain calm and level-headed in your interactions with them.
Narcissists may try to provoke you, so it is important that you do not react emotionally. Instead, try to stay objective, professional, and focused on the task at hand.
For example, if they try to take credit for your work, tell them politely but firmly that you will not tolerate that.
- Document everything
Documenting your interactions with a narcissistic co-worker can be critical in protecting yourself and your work environment.
Here are some reasons why you should consider keeping a record of their behavior –
A guide for future reference
Having a written record of any incidents or interactions that made you uncomfortable can serve as a clue if you need to bring the issue up to HR or management. It is important to have a clear and detailed account of what happened and when it happened.
B. Helps you remember details
In a high-pressure environment, it is easy to forget certain details or events. By writing everything down, you can ensure that you have an accurate and detailed account of what happened.
C. It helps you stay objective
Keeping a written record can help you stay objective when dealing with the situation. By recording their behavior, you can avoid getting caught up in their drama and focus on finding a solution.
Remember to keep your documentation professional and objective. Stick to the facts and avoid including personal opinions or feelings. This can help you avoid any potential legal issues and ensure that your documents are taken seriously.
- Focus on your strengths
Dealing with a narcissistic co-worker can be difficult and frustrating, especially if they try to undermine your confidence and make you doubt your abilities.
However, it is essential to stay focused on your strengths and abilities and not allow their behavior to influence your performance.
When you notice negative thoughts about yourself, reframe them in a more positive light. For example, if you think, “I am not good enough,” change it to, “I am skilled and capable.”
- Don’t take anything personally
Remember that their behavior is a reflection of their insecurities, and try not to affect your self-esteem. Don’t take their behavior as a reflection of your worth or abilities.
Narcissistic co-workers may try to undermine your confidence by criticizing you or your work. Don’t internalize their criticism or make them doubt yourself. Remember your strengths and abilities, and don’t let their behavior affect your performance.
- Focus on taking care of yourself
When trying to figure out how to deal with a narcissistic co-worker, remember that you are not responsible for the narcissistic co-worker’s behavior, but you are responsible for your own care and well-being.
It is important to focus on your own self-care when dealing with a narcissistic co-worker. This may include –
Take breaks and engage in self-care activities such as yoga or meditation
Engage in hobbies or activities that bring you joy
Set realistic goals for yourself
Maintain a healthy work-life balance
Avoid taking on too much responsibility or pressure in the workplace
- Consider requesting assistance from the administration
If you’ve tried every possible approach to managing your narcissistic colleague and their behavior is still causing problems in the workplace, it might be time to seek help from management.
While it may be uncomfortable to bring this issue up to senior officials, it is important to remember that it is their job to ensure a safe and productive work environment for all employees.
a. Schedule a meeting
Request a meeting with your manager or human resources representative to discuss your concerns. It is important to be prepared with specific examples of problematic behavior and how it has affected your work environment.
b- Provide facts, not opinions
When discussing the issue with management, it is important to remain objective and present facts rather than opinions. Adhere to certain instances of behavior that have affected your work and the work environment in general.
C- Proposing solutions
Rather than simply bringing up the problem, it is helpful to come to the meeting with potential behavior management solutions. This shows that you are taking a proactive approach to the situation and are willing to work towards a solution.
d- Ask for guidance
Management may have experience dealing with similar situations and can provide guidance on how to handle the behavior. They may also have specific policies or procedures in place to manage conflicts in the workplace.