What is the relationship between an empath and a wounded narcissist? How are things going between them? Can these two personalities find balance?
The cause of NPD is not known but several theories include…
Overdoing it as a child
Learned behavior
- Genetics
Childhood abuse
The cause is likely to be complex with more than one factor possibly at the root of the disorder.
Some believe that narcissists came from a place of pain, that they experienced unimaginable pain, and that as a result, they took on a certain set of behaviors to deal with their past. Many people have been abused and yet find the strength within themselves to not let their past dictate their future.
Let’s take a look at the time a “wounded” narcissist meets an empath.
Empath is the giver who wants to help. They take other people’s pain and internalize it.
They are full of mercy and believe in the good of humanity. They can put themselves in the shoes of others and try to make things better often at the expense of their well-being.
On the other hand, a narcissist is a taker, sucking others in for their benefit and to hell with the consequences or who may suffer as a result (as long as it’s not them). It may be a match made in heaven for a wounded narcissist but it is a match made in hell for empathy.
Related: Going No Contact With A Narcissist And The Spaghetti Test
Empaths tend to believe that people are naturally good and fail to see that some people do not possess qualities such as empathy and kindness.
It is hard for them to realize that some people go after what they can get without any good intentions at all. They fail to set limits on what is acceptable and what is not. The narcissist will take this opportunity to take advantage of their kind and forgiving nature. Their goal will be to exploit and manipulate your empathy by any means necessary.
A wounded narcissist has mastered the art of deception and will use well-practiced underhanded and underhanded techniques to wield their influence where they will eventually gain control of not only their target’s mind but almost all of their movements.
This type of psychological abuse is a gradual process whereby the targeted person has absolutely no idea that these wheels have been set in motion.
Their goal was to love, help, and soothe the pain that the narcissist had made them believe was part of their past. Let’s not forget that narcissists are pathological liars who often portray themselves as the victim when the opposite is true and are, in fact, the perpetrator.
Can these two characters find a balance?
I’m afraid this is very unlikely. Over time the target of this malicious abuse will wear out. Just like a constantly worn rug, its beauty and once soft touch have now become dull and barren of fibers. They will get tired of being constantly blamed when things don’t go smoothly.
They will get tired of being the only one fighting for this relationship. Sometimes this process takes years but eventually, most of them realize that there is a point of no return. Either you sink or you swim.
As the captain of a ship performs his last duty by ensuring the safety of the passengers and crew before saving himself, a person seeking freedom ensures the safety of his children and loved ones, before jumping overboard and swimming to shore.
Some would think they could stay on board and hope the ship would stay afloat but often the damage is so severe that sailing off into the sunset is not an option.
Related: 7 Common Myths About Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Abandoning ship is not a failure. It’s not a defeat. It is taking positive steps to overcome the situation which has become unsustainable.
Staying in an unhealthy relationship with such a toxic personality is like signing your death warrant.
Psychological abuse affects your health, not only your mental health but also your physical health.
It is not selfish to take matters into your own hands and start taking care of yourself.
You have a choice, stay and be exposed to more of the same or give yourself a fresh start, a new life free of mind games and control.
The choice is yours and the next trip will be challenging at times but well worth it. Calm seas never made a good sailor.
For those dealing with family members who display this type of behavior, the expert advice is the same. Stay away from the deranged personality until you get peace and normality in your life.