Whether you’re friends, colleagues, or lovers, narcissists often drive a wedge between you and others. There are many reasons why they do this…

Narcissists seek to be liked and admired. They need power and control. Therefore, they often pit people against each other. This divides and dominates, giving the narcissist more power and influence.

Narcissists also lure people into conflict, confusing matters, allowing them to get away with their narcissistic behavior and manipulation. Because when problems arise from all sides, it’s difficult to know what’s happening and who started it.

Furthermore, narcissists discredit people and encourage others to distrust them. This allows the narcissist to gain more favor and prevents people from believing them if they reveal their bad behavior.

Dividing people is an important tactic in most narcissists’ arsenal. They develop many ways to achieve this. Here are some common ways narcissists turn people on you…

Reactive Abuse

Narcissists often use reactive abuse to convince people that you’re crazy or unstable. This is where the narcissist begins to provoke and pressure you until you finally break down. Then they blame you for your reaction.

Related : 10 Things That Make The Narcissist Dangerously Vengeful

The narcissist may find something that triggers your sensitivity. It could be your weight, your poor academic performance, your job, etc. Then they continue to pressure you.

The narcissist may provoke you for hours, even days. You may remain calm the entire time. But ultimately, a single insult is the final straw. If you’re unlucky, you’ll explode in front of witnesses.

It may seem to outsiders that you exploded over an “innocent joke.” The narcissist encourages this perception. They hold their hands up high, declaring, “I just said…” while ignoring the other 9,473 times they’ve insulted you.

This gives the impression that you’re irrational and unstable. These aren’t qualities that endear you to most people. The narcissist may follow this up by spreading rumors about your mental fragility, when you’re not there to defend yourself.

Narcissists especially love to discredit their exes. They know they’ll reveal their secrets now that they’re free. So, they try to discredit them and invalidate their claims. Narcissists have even been known to discredit their partners before they break up, in anticipation of what’s to come.

Narcissists Tempt You to Criticize Others

Another trick I’ve seen narcissists use is to encourage people to criticize others, then report these criticisms.

The narcissist may say something hurtful, or talk badly about someone, and entice you to join in.

You may even partially agree with them, just to keep the peace. And that’s enough. You’ve said it. Now they can report your “slander.” They practically don’t lie.

The narcissist feels justified in reporting your alleged criticism, even if they encouraged it, and let you go. This is because they delude themselves that you did it of your own free will, and that they are only trying to help.

Related : 70% of People Falling For Narcissists Have These Traits

Clearly, people don’t like being criticized behind their backs. If they believe the narcissist, it could mean the end of the friendship.

Narcissist Half Truths

Narcissists are adept at twisting the facts just enough to fit their narrative. They can twist what you said or did to make it sound hostile or critical, even if you weren’t.

They may dramatize what you said or did, inferring its “true” meaning. Or they may quote something you said, but in a more pointed tone than you actually said it, giving it a whole new meaning.

Narcissists use these skills to turn people against them. In their view, they are justified because they often don’t literally lie, even though they distort the truth and cause problems for their own benefit.

Focus_on_your_flaws_and_exaggerate_them

Narcissists are adept at painting you in a bad light. They sometimes do this by drawing attention to your flaws—and we all have them.

Narcissists dramatize your flaws, making them appear even worse. They usually exaggerate and embellish them with an artistic touch.

A narcissist may repeat your flaws over and over again, overwhelming people with them until they eventually don’t see them in you.

This gives the impression that you’re a bad person, simply because you’re not perfect. It’s surprising how many people believe this, especially if they spend a lot of time with the narcissist.

Blame_Shirking

Narcissists may unintentionally turn people against you. This sometimes happens because of evading blame.

A narcissist may blame you when they make a mistake. This isn’t because they want to get you into trouble, but because they want to escape punishment. You’re just a collateral victim.

Related : 14 Ways How Narcissists Are Paranoid

Narcissists suffer from delusions of superiority. They hate admitting mistakes because it implies they aren’t up to the task. They often shift the blame onto themselves to relieve themselves of the burden of responsibility.

Narcissists lack emotional empathy, so they don’t feel bad about putting you in this situation. They just want to get away with it.

So, evading blame is an obvious choice for many narcissists because it protects their reputation. They don’t care if it causes problems for you with others. Their only concern is getting caught.

Narcissist Gossip

Some narcissists love gossiping because it makes them feel superior when they point out others’ flaws and mistakes.

Narcissists feel comfortable exposing others’ flaws because it distracts from their own flaws and allows them to feel superior in the moment.

Gossiping narcissists may not intend to tarnish others’ reputations; rather, their goal may be to build themselves up, but gossiping often brings others down. And narcissists are reckless at this.

Narcissists are self-absorbed, so they focus on their own gain rather than the harm they cause others. This allows them to recklessly destroy others’ reputations just to enhance their own.

Related : Why Do Narcissists Start Fights For No Reason?

If you know someone who gossips about everyone around you, it’s very likely they gossip about you too. While it may seem harmless, it can severely damage your friendships and reputation.

Conclusion

Narcissists always seek unfair advantages, often at the expense of others.

Instead of improving their performance and treating people better, most narcissists seek to undermine others, maintain their own dominance, and hide their narcissistic behaviors.

Narcissists often create divisions when they join a harmonious family, making it appear that everyone is to blame. If this has happened to you, please see the following article…