Narcissistic relationships almost certainly undermine your self-esteem, because narcissists find many ways to humiliate others.

Narcissists seek to control their relationships. Therefore, they force their “loved ones” to retreat with negative suggestions. This makes them weak and submissive.

A narcissist’s repeated negativity undermines your self-esteem. You may suffer the consequences long after the relationship ends, unless you resist.

In this article, I’ll discuss several ways to restore your self-esteem after a narcissistic relationship. Let’s get started…

Identify Your Negative Beliefs

Spend some time listening to your inner dialogue. Look for negative beliefs.

You might, for example, tell yourself that you’re “too stupid” when attempting something, or that “success isn’t for me” when given the opportunity.

Related : How Female Narcissists Draw Men In

Your goal is to eliminate these negative beliefs and replace them with positive ones. Here’s a good way to do it…

Disconnect your mind from these negative thoughts. It’s not you; it’s things you’ve picked up from negative people and negative experiences. So, when negative thoughts pop up, listen to them as if they came from someone else.

If you can, find the humor in them. You may almost roll your eyes when they pop up, thinking, “Here we are, totally negative.”

If you laugh them off, they won’t have any effect because you see how ridiculous they are. Once you put these negative thoughts in their place, it’s easier to replace them with positive ones.

Write down five positive things about yourself on a piece of paper. Put it somewhere prominent, like on your desk or refrigerator. Read it several times throughout the day.

This helps stimulate more positive self-talk, which counteracts the negative self-talk fueled by the narcissist.

Whenever a negative thought pops into your mind, laugh it off. Then think of something positive from your list and focus on that.

This gets you used to dismissing negative thoughts and replacing them with positive ones. This is great for building your self-confidence.

Be Kind To Yourself

Narcissists often exploit anything that remotely resembles a “flaw,” making people feel small for their imperfections.

But the truth is, no one is perfect, not even narcissists.

We all have strengths and weaknesses. Our personalities and our weaknesses. That’s what makes humans so diverse and interesting.

Accept your strengths and weaknesses. Accept that you have both—like everyone else. Because that’s what makes you who you are.

Once you accept your flaws, you can let go and relax. Because you no longer need to hide things about yourself or feel ashamed of them.

Challenge Yourself

To increase your self-confidence, you should challenge yourself from time to time. These challenges don’t have to be huge, but they should push you out of your comfort zone.

Related : How Life Improves When You Leave A Narcissist

For example, you might be afraid to go to coffee shops alone. So make a plan and execute it. What’s the worst that could happen? Do you really think others care about your loneliness?

Once you face a challenge, your self-confidence increases. Because you’re breaking a psychological barrier and growing as a person.

This helps you realize that you, like everyone else, are evolving. And growth is much better for your self-confidence than stagnation. So, always strive for growth, even if it’s in small, gradual steps.

Learn_New_Skills

Learning new skills grows you as a person. And with growth comes confidence.

If there’s something you’ve been wanting to learn, start! The sooner you start, the faster you’ll become an expert. And once you see your skills expand, it’s almost impossible not to boost your confidence.

It doesn’t matter what kind of skill it is. It could be learning to play a musical instrument, learning a new language, or learning to swim. Keep growing and learning, and your self-confidence will grow along with it.

Exercise

Fitness is great for boosting self-confidence; it makes you look and feel better. Studies show that exercise improves body image, which leads to increased self-confidence.

Less than a quarter of Americans get enough exercise. So, if you do, you’re among the top 25%.

Find an exercise you enjoy, or at least one you can tolerate. The less strenuous the exercise, the more likely you are to stick with it.

Related : How Narcissists Benefit From “The Ikea Effect”

Incorporate exercise into your daily routine, just like brushing your teeth and showering. These are essential habits, and exercise should be, too.

Body Language

How you stand makes a huge difference in your self-confidence. If you adopt a defensive posture, with your arms and legs crossed, you’re likely to feel vulnerable. This affects your mindset and behavior. It also affects how others perceive you.

Instead, adopt an open posture. Keep your chin up and your shoulders back. You’ll instantly feel more confident. Try it!

With more positive body language, people will treat you better because they’ll see you in a more positive light. This, in turn, boosts your self-confidence and allows you to tap into a wave of positive confidence. Of course!